Self confidence usually is based on how well or not so well we've done in previous situations. It is how we feel about ourselves. Our self worth is based upon our previous performance . We all tend to base our own personal values on how successfully we perform in different situations and we often want a perfect performance of ourselves. If we don't live up to our perfect standards, we end up lowering our opinions of ourselves.
We can learn to value ourselves in spite of feeling anxious. As adults we often believe we must continually justify our place in the world, that we have to somehow prove to other people that we are , extremely self confident and worthy of their esteem . We will spend excessive amounts of time feeling anxious and afraid that we won’t meet other people expectation and we lose sight of the basic fact that we are usually all right just as we are, in spite of the fact that we are not perfect.
Temporary fluctuations in our self confidence are common, they happen to most of us. Try self talk, tell yourself you are fine. Tell yourself you can go to the party or what ever event you are fearing and that you will be ok. When you begin to feel bad, such as being at a party with a whole lot of people you don't know, stop the stinkin thinkin and take a deep breath. Tell yourself you are ok, many of the people at the party may feel the same way you do. If you want to build your self confidence you need to stop caring so much what others think and more about your opinion.
Remember you are a special person and try to stay in the moment and let go of the "what ifs".
Again a warm welcome to HW.
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 9/19/2010 7:42:58 AM (GMT-6)