Dear Can't Deal,
I am only sharing my experience as I went through a very similiar situation when divorce was a dirty word. It took me several times of trying to leave but my ex-husband was very emotional also and went from being sad to very mad. I was young, only 22 years old, with 3 little children but I finally found the strength to accept a full time job, found a house to rent and insisted on a divorce. We did have a house to sell so I was able to use my half of the profit to help set up a new home for my children and found a nice lady to come in and babysit while I worked in a factory 3-11 PM fulltime.
All my relatives and in-laws blamed me but I knew I had to be strong and make my choice. My Father was the only one who stood up for me and with his love and support I made the move.
You are not an awful person and I guess back then I was young enough to feel angry that I was being blamed when it always takes two people to have a marriage so I was able to "kick the guilt to the gutter."
I hope life will treat you kind.
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
"If you can't change the world, change your world"