Feel like I'm losing my mind!!!

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GoingNuts2011
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/9/2011 9:53 AM (GMT -7)   
I am 27 years old and am going insane with anxiety. Last month I was diagnosed with HPV which totally freaked me out. Ever since then I've been scared that I have colon cancer, anal cancer, you name it I have it. Guess I have two questions. One: can all this anxiety be causing diarrhea. I've had it for the past three days. Two: I realize that my chances of getting cancer due to HPV is low and my odds for colon cancer are low at my age. How do I focus on the facts rather than the rare what ifs? It's taking over my life. I just wanna feel normal again. I dont wanna feel like I have to run to the doctor to make myself feel better every time I have an ache in my body. I'm so tired and so fed up with this feeling. Here's another example. As of November I'll be with my boyfriend for two years. Last December I was tested for HIV, six months after my last sexual encounter before my bf and six months after me and him did anything. Tests came back negative and now I'm stressing over having it again. Thinking what if they did the wrong test or what if my results were mixed up. I mean why cant I get past this crap! I need to get over this soy body can fight off the HPV virus. Please help!!!!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 35928
   Posted 10/9/2011 10:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there,

Welcome to the A/P forum... I had hpv when I was younger too and nothing came of it. In fact I had it twice, the first time it was called displasia. I am only assuming that they are the same.

The best advice I can give you to take care of your fears is either abstain from sex or use condoms. That is the safest way to go.

I do believe that anxiety can give you diarrhea. It just messes with the nerves and the stomache gets upset.

Are you taking anything for anxiety? It might be something to think about. I truly hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting and know that we all care about you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

GoingNuts2011
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/9/2011 11:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for the reply!!

My doctor just put me on Effexor and Clonazopan. I know I didn't spell that last one right. Ha! Said it'll be 3-4 weeks for the Effexor to take affect.

I luckily didn't have dysplasia. My gyn did a colposcope and endocervical scraping and said the cells that had change look fine and he's thinking it could have been due to my bc and not the HPV.

My biggest mistake is taking every worst thing the internet says and saying that's me. I know it's stupid to fear it, but I can't seem to shake the feeling. Just like being scared about HIV when I've tested negative. I've been with the same guy since then and was with him for over a year before I got tested. I've not cheated or anything. Crazy how the mind controls you.

Then I get little pains in my anal area and I freak I have anal cancer. Grrrrrrrrrrr!!! I know people think I'm nuts!

Hugs!!!!! Once again thanks so much for the reply. Means a lot to me that someone would take the time to comfort me.

Ashley

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 35928
   Posted 10/9/2011 12:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Ashley,

Thanks for writing back. If you trust your boyfriend, and have been with him for over a year, then you shouldn't have anything to fear. When I was your age, my boyfriend was the one who was giving it to me. I didn't want to believe it, and only until now I realized it was not me, it was him. I had been with other men before him, he would always convince me it was from that.

I know it is a phobia about worrying about getting hiv. But you know what you have to do to keep safe. Trust is a big issue here. If you think your boyfriend is faithful, then so be it, but if not, use protection. I hope that you feel he is faithful. I wish you the very best. Try not to worry. Just be safe......

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

GoingNuts2011
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/9/2011 12:51 PM (GMT -7)   
I trust him completely. I've been with him for two years. Got the HIV test after our first year together, so I know I'm clean. Just the anxiety stinks. :( Sigh.

Thanks for being here!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 35928
   Posted 10/9/2011 2:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I know anxiety stinks. And it is hard to deal with the fears that we have. But it is nice to have other people understand what you are going through. And we do. All you can do is try not to worry. Try to relax. And take life one day at a time. Kind of go with the flow of things. Try to stop the thoughts before they start. Make a plan to do some deep breathing or something that makes you feel relaxed. You will get though this. You will be free from worry. Maybe get a book on anxiety that teaches you coping skills.

Enjoy your life and don't let anything stop you...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 15699
   Posted 10/9/2011 2:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi GN and welcome:) I am sorry that you are struggling with the catastrophic thinking right now. I think that all of us with anxiety run into this problem, so know that you are not alone in this.

A couple of things that I like to do to combat this is to use positive mantras, and realize that 'magical thinking' isn't reality.

Magical thinking happens when we have a fear that plagues us, even if it is not based on what is realistic, and we start to believe it. It is so prevalent in our minds, it just sort of takes over and becomes bigger than our rational brain! Thinking about something happening however, can't make it real. If that were the case, I would think about winning the lottery every minute of every day... but that wouldn't make it happen!

Mantras are helpful because the words that we say to ourselves do actually have power. If you repeat something like this to yourself, it will help you to believe it. "I have nothing to actually fear, anxiety is just making it seem that way." You can probably think of something better for yourself, that is just an example:)

I hope that you will find this a place of information, caring and support...and continue to post with us!

Talk to you soon,
Scaredy Cat
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"It is when we are most lost that we sometimes find our truest friends"

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

GoingNuts2011
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/9/2011 9:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Karen and Scaredy Cat it means the world to me to have support from complete strangers. Thanks for making feel better and understand I'm not alone! Love ya guys for that!!!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 35928
   Posted 10/10/2011 7:46 AM (GMT -7)   
You will never be alone here, this is a wonderful forum. I moderate depression but pop in from time to time.

Have a great day!!!

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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