Fear of going crazy

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FaithNotFear
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 6/19/2005 2:46 AM (GMT -6)   

I have scary thoughts. Usually my thoughts are that I'm going crazy and that I'll lose touch with reality. I was diagnosed with PD back in Sept '04. I have not suffered from a PA since about Dec '04. The PA's don't really seem to be a problem with me. I also do not have agoraphobia. My problem is that ever since that initial first PA 9 months ago,the thought of anxiety pops into my head several times an hour. So on a 24 hour basis,that means the thought of anxiety/fear of being crazy is the most prevalent thought in my head. I know that if I could completely remove these thoughts (ANT's-Automatic Negative Thoughts)from my head,that I will be 100% cured. I've learned to ignore the thoughts & not react in fear to them. I can go days & even weeks without experiencing any anxiety. However,eventually something will just trigger it & the cycle begins again. Usually the cycle lasts a day or 2. Sometimes maybe a week. Then I'll get past it & feel completely normal again,untill the cycle comes back around. It's frustrating. Can anyone relate to this? Does anyone have any suggestions. My biggest fear is going crazy,that's it. I don't fear that I'm going to die or suffocate,just that I will just go nuts & lose touch. I love my wife and kids,to me being without them is the worse fate that can befall me. So naturally,going crazy, means losing them. I know it's all just anxiety & not psychotic. I've had a therapist explain to me that as an anxious person,I'm actually more in touch with reality then most,because I'm aware. That psychotic individuals are not aware,because they've lost touch with reality. That does comfort me,but I still suffer from these scary thoughts. God,I need help.

By the way,I was on Zoloft for a couple of months,but I decided to go at it the natural way. Vitamins,Aminos,etc. GABA,SAMe,Magnesium.

Post Edited (FaithNotFear) : 6/19/2005 1:49:00 AM (GMT-6)


krisannethimum
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 6/19/2005 9:52 AM (GMT -6)   
FaithNotFear,
I have the fear of going crazy also.  I had my first panic attack a little over a month ago, and though I've always been a shy, anxious person; this anxiety has overwhelmed me now.  I just got married 2 years ago and have a 1-year-old son and I'm one semester away from finishing college, so I'm terrified that I'm just gonna totally lose it and ruin everything.  Plus, I have one uncle that is schizophrenic, one is bipolar, and depression, OCD, and anxiety run rampant in my family. 
 
How did the Zoloft work for you?  My doctor prescribed some for me but I've been too afraid to take it.   I wanted to try the natural route but I've had so much pressure from my family that it's a bad idea.  It really frustrates me.  I've decided that I'll at least give the Zoloft a try, but how have the natural supplements been working?
 
Don't worry, we're not going crazy.  Though the thought is scary and losing your family is unimaginable, be positive and try and enjoy every moment!  I know, easier said than done.
 
Take care,
Kristen
 
1 John 4:18 "Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life - fear of death, fear of judgment- is one not yet fully formed in love."

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/19/2005 10:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Faith not Fear.................You are not going crazy and you sure are not alone with these thoughts .......I know I went thru this for the longest time and my biggest fear was losing it and in turn losing my family .......I am just starting a Cognitive behavioural Therapy workbook....... with exercises thats free and online and for me its working great so far.........your doc has said that we are more aware of whats going on ....well in my opinion I think that peeps with A/P are highly intellectual and we just have a blip in our screens .........this makes us a stronger person as far as I am concerned .............I want to Welcome you here to HW and let you know that you are not alone and we can offer you our support and hopefully help with your questions and concerns ........we are like a close knit family that shares our fears ,joys and our accomplishments ,and YES we do have those .......I hope you feel a bit better today and see that you are not the only one that goes thru this ........othrs will no doubt post and let you know how they feel and cope ....take care and God Bless ...Lyn
 
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    I cannot keep your feet from stumbling..........I can only offer my hand that you might grasp it and not fall...........Lyn


harry4
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1449
   Posted 6/19/2005 12:56 PM (GMT -6)   

to faith not fear

you may have some post traumatic stress disorder from the first panic atack, look this up on the net

fear of going crazy, or of actually now being crazy is common for anxiety and panic attack sufferers but it never happens, also your problems dont lead to anything worse

 

did the zoloft help, if it does its a big help


Flopsie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 1361
   Posted 6/21/2005 2:37 PM (GMT -6)   

Faithnotfear,  yeah I  can so relate to that feeling. I had my first Major Panic attack over 30 years ago. My children were very small, and I thought I was losing my mind.I worried so much about it, that it only made my attacks worse. nono

You are NOT going crazy. It is all part of this horrible disorder that we have. I went so far as to check myself into the hospital, I was afraid I would lose my mind and hurt my children. skull sad

I got some very good counseling that helped me at that time,and was able to control my attacks for many years.However, with all the lifechanging events in my life in past 2 years, they have come back with a vengance. However, I know now what they are and that I am not going crazy. nono Doesn't mean I can control them or the fear has disappeared, just that my mind will still be there when the racing heart and feeling of overwhelming doom has passed.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. May God place a hedge of protective angels around you to keep you safe from harm.

 

Flopsie


Don't walk in front of me..I may not follow
Don't walk behind me..I may not lead
Walk beside me and be my friend...
 
and Lord, put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.


OCC1532
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 6/21/2005 6:48 PM (GMT -6)   
I know exactly how you feel. I have had panic and anxiety problems going on for about five years now and have been plagued with the thoughts of losing my miind and ending up in an insane asylum ever since my first panic attack. The thoughts are much less persistant than what they were in the beginning and cause less anxiety then what they used to. I think the only thing that will totally take these thoughts away is time, becauase i have improved so much over these past couple years. I can say one good thing about panic , it caused me to quite doing drugs because every time i tried to get high I would get terrorized that i was going to blow my mind from doing drugs or that something stronger was in it and my mind just could'nt take
it and I would end up insane. I think why these thoughts also occurred was I had my first blown attack while high on pot. Well anyway , just wanted to tell let you know you are not alone when comes to thinking these weird thoughts. Stay strong.
 
 
 
 
 

schizo
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/22/2005 12:28 AM (GMT -6)   
heloo every one

i am a new member here .i m 19 yrs old from nepal and i have the same crazy thought but readings this replys i will sure have a good day

dbab
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 4151
   Posted 6/22/2005 1:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome OCC1532 and schizo :)
Des (dbab)
IBS, Diverticulosis, GERD, Disc Degeneration
"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it" - Mary Engelbreit
 
 
 


Barbz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 729
   Posted 6/23/2005 7:56 PM (GMT -6)   
when i went through anxiety and i was agoraphobic that was my biggest fear and let me tell you it is not a fun feeling i would even keep my medicine over at my mother in laws because i was afraid i might lose my mind and take all of them haha that was 1

Barbz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 729
   Posted 6/23/2005 7:59 PM (GMT -6)   
oops that was 11 years ago now i look back and laugh about it i have been anxiety free for 9 years i faced my fears took my paxil and got on with life and now the good lord has thrown a big one at me i was told i have crohns disease and i am a nurvous wreck so you can just imagine but i am still working and i will not give into the anxiety that bad again i know it is normal to feel a little anxious right now but it will go away i started taking zoloft again and i think it is helping some
anyway i must go now Barb

paniccu
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 996
   Posted 6/24/2005 6:52 AM (GMT -6)   
I can totally relate to your situation FaithNotFear. I was diagnosed with PD about 7 years ago. I was on SSRI's for two years then went off of them because I was feeling great and I didn't want to be on them while trying to conceive and have children. I have days, even weeks where I feel completely normal, then I'll have a bad couple of days or weeks. I'm a sahm with two small children and it's always in the back of my mind that I could lose it when they are in my care. You're right though, we aren't phsycotic so it's not like they'd be in any real danger! I'd have to say I am more afraid of something happening to me. You hear terrible stories about things happening to a parent and the child is left alone in the house until someone discovers them. I try not to watch the news much anymore :-). My husband did not like it when I was on meds and I don't know what his reaction would be if I got so bad that I felt I needed them again. I don't think it'll ever get as bad as it once was though, since I know what it is now I can keep it in check.
Liz

MirkwoodMaiden
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/3/2005 2:09 PM (GMT -6)   
That's actually my biggest fear: going crazy and not being able to take care of myself. It's even worse when I have PA and don't feel in control of anything that is going on in my life.

Vikki1975
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 190
   Posted 7/4/2005 7:04 AM (GMT -6)   

I can totally relate.

My fear is going mad and crazy, and acting fooling and being a burden, and losing touch of reality! same as you.

Not scared of the actually physical stuff too much, ie suffocating, heart attacks, fainting etc.

WIth me its all about the emotionaly issues that I relate to having an attack, ie, i am MENTAL! and will end up sectioned in a mental ward!

Isnt it awful???!  I know....

Panick attacks are the bloody worst thing.  They petrify me and I hate them.  STAY STRONG XXXXXX

 

 


harry4
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1449
   Posted 7/4/2005 2:29 PM (GMT -6)   

Ive been dealing with panic attack and anxiety sufferers for 25 years and none have gone crazy, most get better but those who dont stay the same and dont go crazy

 

panic attacks and anxiety dont lead to anything else


Jameson
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 7/6/2005 1:18 AM (GMT -6)   
It appears you have my number as well faith. I havent had a PA in several months, but today I felt like I was about to (probly because of the ourageous amount of boozed I drank on the 4th) PD is trully an isidious disorder.

cookyInDC
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/7/2005 8:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow. FaithNotFear, I have the exact same feelings as you. I've been seeing a doctor who continues to reassure me that this is just anxiety and that millions of people are going through the same thing we are (in varying degrees). It helps a lot to hear from others, but of course, it doesn't make it all go away.

My only advice is to just continue to tell yourself that you are not going crazy at all. It is just a symptom of anxiety. Remind yourseld that for all of the time that you have been thinking you are going crazy, you haven't! You are still fine! So why would that change?

I hope this helps.

@ LYN - can you please tell us where to find the Cognitive Therapy workbook you mentioned? You said it is free and online, but failed to say where we might find it. THANKS!
it is MoodgymsTrainingProgram.com

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 10/13/2006 4:02:53 AM (GMT-6)


krisannethimum
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 7/7/2005 11:38 PM (GMT -6)   
greyblueyes-it looks like your body was just telling you to stop the drugs, just like my first panic attack was from waaaay too much stress about school. how are you doing now?

cooky-Here's the website for the CBT program: moodgym.anu.edu.au

Kristen

BrazilGirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 7/13/2005 1:42 AM (GMT -6)   
oh people! you guys comfort me SO much! I just came on here because I was lying in bed having those awful thoughts! I can agree with 99% of what the poster said! It's actually weird!! lol... the difference is that im just 18 and have to face SOOO many changes. Like leaving home for college, etc...! I've been weeks, almost months, of being completely anxiety-free, and now here it comes again, the cycle. But i know I will get over it. I had my first attack 1 and a half year ago after trying ... for the first time (I DONT DO ANY DRUGS NOR ALCOHOL, IT WAS JUST A SILLY TEENAGE EXPERIMENT THING), so yeah, first attack caused by the oh-so "harmless" ... I only had one full blown one followed by a couple tiny ones, but havent had an attack for probably over 6 months... and my fear is not the attacks anymore, it's the anxious thougts...of going crazy, or just being pessimistic about things, or developing schiz (since im young) ...i see a therapist and she says the same things... that im NOT going crazy or developing schiz, that im more in touch with reality than most people,etc etc...bit in this moments, nothing seems to sink properly in our minds huh? well i have faith, we all should, we are together, and no one here is going crazy, developing schiz, or whatever. We just have to cope with this cruel little feeling called anxiety. All my love to all of you!
 

Post Edited By Moderator (scaredy cat) : 7/25/2005 11:01:27 PM (GMT-6)


jmo
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/13/2005 5:52 PM (GMT -6)   
I am simply blown away by these posts. I have never met anyone who can relate me me and the constant feeling of "going insane". Like so many others here, my physical symptoms do not bother me as much as the mental feelings I go through.

I was at my therapy appointment on Monday and had a huge panic attack. I was tingly, numb and hot flashes galore. what bothered me the most was my mental state. My Therapist kept telling me to go to my safe place. That caused further anxiety because I dont have a safe place. That made me feel more alone and disconnected and even more crazy. I am not even comforted by my husband or children when I am in that state of mind. I feel almost a paranoia about going crazy. I am terrified of it.

Not that I would ever wish this feeling on anyone, I just feel better after reading these responses because I have always thought I was alone in this. WOW. I am not alone.

SeaOtter
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1653
   Posted 7/13/2005 7:24 PM (GMT -6)   

Hey jmo : )

I usually hang out in the Chronic Pain forum but have definitely had my share of anxiety issues over the years.  When I saw you were a new member, I wanted to take the time to welcome you to Healing Well and in particular to our Anxiety/Panic forum.  I know exactly what you mean about how comforting it is to know there are a lot of people experiencing the same thing.  Of course, you wouldn't wish it on them - but if they are out there already - it sure is good to find them - isnt' it?

Did you talk to your therapist about not having a safe place?  Most people that experience anxiety end up creating a "safe place".  There is nothing dramatic about it nor a secret formula that I am aware of.  This is a place that you create for yourself in your mind - it should be a place that you think is totally beautiful - a place that if you were there, you couldn't help but feel relaxed because it was so peaceful. 

For some people, this might be a beach with the feel of the sun warming their face and the sounds of the waves lapping at the water's edge.  For someone else, this place might be a special room filled with all of their favorite things.  I always think of my safe place as being a place where I am alone but I imagine others who feel more at peace being with others rather than alone might have special people or pets in their safe place.

Once you have created your perfect safe place, you learn to recognize the very earliest signs of anxiety or a panic attack and as soon as possible you go to your safe place.  Ideally, you would be able to sit down somewhere quiet and close your eyes and really focus on deep slow breathing as you visualize being there.  But, I have heard of people being able to utilize their safe place while they are on the subway and start feeling claustrophobic.  They simply close their eyes and go : )

I hope your therapist is able to more with this at your next appointment.  Again, I am so glad you found our forum and I hope you keep posting ; )

Welcome!


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jmo
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/13/2005 9:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for the friendly welcome. I am so glad I found this place. : )

I only see my T one more time before I move. I am moving 2000 miles away and am very scared I wont find a new T. I have so many things going on right now it makes my head spin.

Anyway, thank you for making me feel at home. I hope to meet more of you real soon.


Jen

RustyForkhead
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/19/2005 7:52 PM (GMT -6)   
sorry for moving this back up, but i also would like to add my story with anxiety and the fear of developing schizophrenia,
It all started when i took cold medicine, and got really sick that night and suffered a panic attack, that triggered my anxiety, which eventually got me to thinking that the medicine could have triggered schizophrenia, a mental desease in my family background, many cousins i have but only 1 has it, and 1 uncle,  out of 10 or so cousins, see they were into alot of drugs as well, me i never took... but the cold medicine really got me worried, i worried day in day out about this fear, and read up on the symptoms from every page i can imagen, mostly the hearing voices, and then eventually after readding and worrying i managed to start hearing voices through thought, this is like sudden and not really what im thinking about,lately ive been good and havent heard them often, only when i really think about it, so its pretty logical that my mind is playing tricks on me, although i wasnt very convinced at the start. im not sure if anyone ever experienced this but i thought since we all think were crazy :-P i should look for your opinion,
my therapist said i just think all the time, and too much research, personally im not paranoid, the only time i feel paranoid im worried that im paranoid, so people who are paranoid cant point that out, so thats never been a real problem for me, anyways since people who have anxiety are usually shielded from finding out what it actually is, i'd like to see your opinions, and to let you know, your not alone if you feel your going crazy, even in the moments your allmost 100% sure, realize your mind can do many things, unless you physically see things, and i mean like easy to make out things, thanks in advance for any replys i may get, and stay strong.

Post Edited By Moderator (scaredy cat) : 7/25/2005 11:09:28 PM (GMT-6)


Flopsie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 1361
   Posted 7/20/2005 1:08 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree with SeaOtter, once you crate your "safe place" and learn to go there when you are feeling panic coming on, you will soon learn to control it to a point. Works most of the time, but there are still times that you will just have to roll with it.
Don't walk in front of me....I may not follow
Don't walk behind me....I may not lead
Walk beside me..and be my friend...
                                    Albert Carnus
 
and Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
 
 

abnalexmom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 905
   Posted 7/21/2005 8:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Hopeful honey, have you ever thought about maybe trying out some counseling for Substance Abuse?  It may help you to get over your craving for pot and to sort things out.  It sounds like that is causing a great deal of your anxiety and panic.  At least that's what I'm interpreting from your posts.
 
Sounds very much to me like you need guidance in that area of your social life and getting some counseling now, even if you think you don't need it, may prevent you from taking a devastating wrong turn down the road.  I've been there, so I'm only speaking to you out of experience and concern.
 
Hugs,
Beth
"The heavens proclaim his righteousness, and all the peoples see His glory." 
Psalm 97:6
 
"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." 
 Psalm 121:1,2
  
 
 


HOPEFULL85
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/22/2005 3:13 PM (GMT -6)   
thanx for ur help beth but i never really used drugs before it was around me so i did it.... i dont crave the drug one bit ......im staying away from it forever...i read substance abuse does lead to anxiety disorders but can it really happen by abusing it one time...i dont really know if i have a disorder or if im overthing things because if always been like that .....i feel like i think too much well anyways thanx for ur help

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 10/13/2006 4:12:59 AM (GMT-6)

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