Sorry to hear you are having a tough time but well done for reaching out here.
I would suggest you make an appointment with your GP and be honest with them about how you are feeling and see what they can offer to help.
In the meantime if you continue to have suicidal thoughts then call the Samaritans their phone number is 116 123 (UK) and continue to post here so we can help support you.
I know things are hard at the moment but you can get through this and we are all here to help support you so your not alone.
I try not to worry about the future -- so I take each day just one anxiety attack at a time.
ANXIETY & PANIC FORUM MODERATOR
Diagnosed with:- Asperger's Syndrome, Dyslexia, GAD, Social Anxiety Disorder, Health Anxiety, OCD, Depression and Scheuermann's Disease (Adult)
Medications:- 60mg Prozac, Olanzapine 10mg, Dihydrocodeine 180mg per day