This all started a few days ago when I got sick, I felt bad so I pretty much quit smoking and drinking because I had no urge, my anxiety came like a storm.
Just a little background I've been smoking a pack a day for around five years, which is why I'd like to quit eventually. But alcohol I would have anywhere from 2-4 nights a week and I'd only drink 2-3beers sometimes less if I was tired.
I made it one day without smoking or drinking. I'm back smoking now for today as it really seemed to help my anxiety but I refuse to touch alcohol.
I've had anxiety and depression basically my whole life, but it's been manageable especially the depression. I very rarely have depression bad enough to think I need help which is a great achievement vs where I was a few years ago
Anxiety has always been there as well but more is less in the back of my head flaring up at most once or twice a week and it was more annoying than anything
I actually really enjoyed not smoking yesterday, it really opened up light in my life that I haven't seen in ages, I really feel like smoking puts you in your own little shell. Quitting smoking is definitely a solid goal now I'm just waiting to get my anxiety under control.
Yesterday I had my first anxiety attack in years, I used to get them once every few months as a child randomly for a few years and then one day just stopped. Well there back and I feel so hopeless. I can handle depression extremely well now due to several years experience but this new found strength of my anxiety is just tearing me a new one.
I did plenty of research on things to do to help but about the only thing I found that did help was exercising. Man it was better than drinking, even just five minutes of the stuff, problem is it only sticks for a few hours..
The hardest time I have is when I'm alone, at night. Odd story I'm actually a night owl that spends up to 4am awake and then sleeps til noon, this used to be enjoyable but is now pure hell.
Taking my mind off it only seems to make it worse, I've done some positive reassuring speeches with myself outload in a miror and that helps, but it's still like even if I'm not having an anxiety attack I feel like I'm about to. I'd love to find a way to just let it all out so I can start on a new slate here, just some method of last resort that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol.
I have a history of bottling up my emotions which is probably contributing to this, it's been so long idk how to let it out, how to cry how to scream..
I just need help on how to let it out, and not let anxiety rule my life,
Thanks in advance <3