My life with bipolar - cross posting from bipolar forum

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Wacko920
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 9/11/2017 9:06 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm a 54 year old male that was diagnosed with bipolar in 2000, and PTSD in 2016. I take Lamotrigine 200MG a day for the bipolar and Aripiprazole 10MG a day for the PTSD.

I see a psychiatrist, but the only therapy I can get is group which doesn't work for me. I can't be in a room with more than one maybe two people, and crowds or being crowded is a no no. The place that I go too have people that call me once a month and try to get me to do a group. I'm like NO! Thank goodness my psychiatrist understands.

I have other issues as well such as a cyst in my head pushing my brain to the left. I live with chronic pain from the cyst and arthritis in my back and neck. I have heart problems, high blood pressure, and diabetes as well. The joy of getting old, lol.

I got into a fight with my medical doctor a few months back and quit seeing him, so my family and psychiatrist has been on me to get a new one. They don't seem to understand what it means for me to get on a crowded bus, sit in a crowded doctors office, and then get on a crowded bus again. For me it's a real fight and both mentally and physically wipes me out. I guess on monday I will have to bit the bullent and do it since I'm having issues with my heart again. Oh, and that means after all the busses and doctors office I get to do another bus and doctors office to see the cardiologist. God, this is a hard one.

So, I fight every day with my issues and just needed to unload a bit.

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 26795
   Posted 9/11/2017 9:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi W920 and welcome!

I am sorry to hear of your current challenges, but glad that you have joined us so we can encourage and offer supportive care.


It is understandable to feel overwhelmed by the steps you need to take to attend your medical appointment. Is there a close friend or family member from whom you can ask for help? Someone to drive you, and go along for support?

How about splurging for a cab or Uber? If ever there was a time to spend outside the normal budget...I would say this is it.

I hope that you can get in and be seen with as little anxiety and stress for you as possible.

For anxiety self help coping tools, please check out our Resources at the top of the main forum page here...

...and post with us anytime for sharing and support.smile

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Wacko920
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 9/11/2017 11:31 AM (GMT -6)   
I bit the bullet and called to find a new doctor this morning. I was able to find a doctor that is closer to me, so I won't be on the bus as long. The bus planner says it will take about 26 minutes on the bus which is way better than the almost hour and a half to my old doctor. Hopefully this bus isn't packed like the other bus always was.

I don't have friends in this area and my family doesn't drive, so thats out. I also am on a very fixed and tight budget, so I don't have the money for cabs and uber. I actually spent an extra 5 hours at the hospital waiting for the bus to run a few weeks back because I just don't have the money.

I do things like take my music, sit in the front of the bus and wear sunglasses which all seems to help. I also try to sit by the window, so I can stare out instead of focusing on the people and enclosed space of the bus. I know it won't be a fun trip, but it's just one of those things you have to do in life.

It really helps knowing that I'm not alone, so thank you.

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 26795
   Posted 9/11/2017 11:41 AM (GMT -6)   
You are very welcome...

...those are GREAT coping skills...well done!

I am so pleased you found a new doctor that is closer to you. Excellent job on being proactive and making those calls.

Let us know if you need support as the appointment draws near...we will be here to cheer you on !

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT
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