replaying a conversation in my mind

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medved
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Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 1079
   Posted 10/1/2017 10:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, I have not been here in a while. Did some CBT (with a world-renowned, although expensive, expert). It helped. I think the bottom like is i will always have anxiety, but I may be able to use techniques to minimize its impact..

Do any of you have this situation: I have a conversation with someone, and then afterward I regret the conversation and wish I had said different things. Maybe I came off as arrogant, or said something the other person might find insulting, or disclosed something that I should have kept confidential, or whatever.

But then I feel anxious about that, and replay the conversation (over and over and over again) in my mind, and ruminate about what I should have said, etc.

I try to tell myself: "you did not actually say anything terrible; this is just your anxious brain playing tricks on you and trying to annoy you." But it is hard. And maybe I actually did say things I should not have.

Is this a common anxiety scenario? How have others of you successfully dealt with it?

I am not on any meds. I have xanax but almost never take it. Really trying to just live my life...

I also have a very high stress job -- not just a job that I find stressful because of anxiety, but a job that is objectively very high stress.

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 26816
   Posted 10/1/2017 5:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi MV and welcome back!

I am glad to hear that you had some great therapy experiences and have made some progress...good news!

To answer your question, yes, rumination is pretty common and goes along with anxiety/social issues. I find myself doing the same...

...and I think everyone does to some extent at times.

It comes down to how much it is controlling or affecting you.

If you find that the thoughts are intrusive and relentless, then seeking to work through them with the help of Therapy Worksheets could be worthwhile.

I usually think about certain interactions briefly and then just let it pass...but if I find the thoughts are persistent, then I'll use a worksheet.

I hope you'll keep us updated and keep sharing here when you can! Peace and progress. smile

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

medved
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 1079
   Posted 10/1/2017 6:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks, S. Cat!

One odd thing is when I fall asleep, I may sleep OK, but the second I wake up, I will immediately think about the conversation I had, what I said wrong, how I could have said differently. So its like the last thing I think about at night and the first thing in the morning. The only refuge, then, is the hours I am asleep.

Still, all in all I guess I am doing better. I know I have life better than 98% of people -- good health, no money problems, a family, a nice house, a good education, a job, etc. I just need to learn to enjoy it...

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 26816
   Posted 10/1/2017 9:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes!

Our gratitude lists are important to keep in mind, daily! They fill our 'happy receptacles' and help combat the anxiety.😊

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

medved
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 1079
   Posted 10/2/2017 9:07 AM (GMT -6)   
During times of high stress -- when you are "obsessing" over something or lying awake trying to figure out whether you need to take a sleeping pill -- and worrying about "next day" stuff -- it is hard to focus on all the things one has to be grateful for, and how so many people have it so much worse. I look at what is going on with the Rohingya people, for example, and I feel like I should "just shut up about my ridiculous worries and be grateful about everything I have and do not deserve."

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 26816
   Posted 10/2/2017 9:50 AM (GMT -6)   
I think we need to find a balance...

Acknowledging our anxiety is okay. Our worries are not ridiculous...we have a challenge with our brain's chemistry that makes it easier for the fear to try and take over...

...that being said, it is important to keep things in perspective as you point out!

It's an ongoing process isn't it? I am still learning everyday. smile I get so many good reminders like yours, here all the time!

With encouragement,

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT
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