Does anyone ever get to the point where your so tired of trying to keep it all together that you just want to scream?
My family is driving my crazy...for those that dont know me I live with my mom and her husband of 3 years. I have wanted to move but my physical health has prevented me from being able to do that. I have an autonomic disorder that causes my blood pressure to drop very low and I end up passing out and it makes me very sick. So I am stuck here and it is a big house but me with my depression, anxiety and panic disorder. My mom who has depression and anxiety who is a nurse and total control freak...and her husband who is a recovering alcoholic of one year...oh and did I forget to say retired Navy man...so yeah he is ALWAYS right.
Anyway, I dont know what the problem is really...mom is going through something. I dont know if it is because I am sick or she is dealing with past issues in therapy or what but she has been very depressed lately and moody. And her husband who has little patience for anything has threatened to move many times...of course he only says this to me and not to my mother. When ever he says anything to her he yells it. The tension around here is terrible and I just want to lock myself in my room. I dont want to be in the middle of their relationship but I am undecided if I should call a family meeting and just tell them to stop acting like children....and talk to one another.
My anxiety is up because of this...what do you all think?
ElishaCo~Mod: DepressionModerator: Heart & Cardiovascular Diseasehttp://www.healingwell.com/donate
Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 9/23/2006 1:51:13 PM (GMT-6)
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...********************
Oh my, you all are as always so very supportive... The status quo as of late is that I told them both yesterday afternoon together to "knock it off and quit stressing me out with their problems"...maybe not too tackful on my part...but after having had 2 mg of Xanax and a horrible headache from her husband stomping around the house in his boots (all hardwood floors) and them snipping at each other for a week I couldnt take anymore. So needless to say they both have been very quite.... Perhaps it is because they think my head will explode?
Dysfunctional family I have always had but I am not quite adjusted to living under it 24/7 anymore...I will let the dust settle a day or so an write down some thoughts about a "family meeting" and in the mean time I think it is a wonderful suggestion of getting out of here for a few days.
Thanks for the thoughts, suggestions and always the support...BIG HUGS to you ALL
sorry for all your troubles but if you read this posting you may want to think you life isnt so bad compared to people like me here's why:
well i have got a mother who is 78 and kicked out her 3rd hubby last month ( he is aged 80)and now shes lives alone and i wrote a letter to her asking why she asked everyone in the family to ignore me and why for 15yrs she ignores me and the very first thing she did when she got the letter yesterday was to call my only close ally, my cousin and told her not to talk to me b/c of the letter i wrote.
so my cousin calls me up and says to me what did you write to your mom and she tells me now not to talk to you. i have planned a trip out to cally to see her in x-mas time with my son and now my mom who after 25 yrs hasnt gone to cally wants to go during this time only b/c she heard i was gonna go then to throw a monkey wrench into my plans b/c she wants to see her sister who is 82 and would not remember her b/c she has alzhiemers.
she is the most counterproductve person i ever met and then wanted to know where my son was so she could call him up and give him an earful about how rotten i was also. a grandson who she never even so mcuh as sent a card to for 15 yrs for his b-day, now she wants to interfere with my relationship. man talk about evil....she is the most evil person i ever met on the face of the earth.
she estranged me from my sister who i never did any harm to my brother herself and her 3rd hubby and now wants to get into my afairs with my son.
i had a daughter 1973 i gave up for adoption 33 yrs ago b/c she told me either get an abortion or get out, i got out and had the baby and did the right thing and put her up for adoption so that one day i could maybe find her an be friends with her.
that happened in 1995, i met the lovely girl and told her to stay away from my mom b/c she told me i should have her killed with an abortion and nothing good would come out of it as she is evil. she went to meet her anyways and my mom did nothing but bad mouth me to my daughter and now my daughter wants nothing to do with me b/c of what my mom said to her about me.
she should be thanking me for not having an abortion instead and try to be friends with me instaed of hating me.
i am having a really bad day b/c if my cousin tells me not to come out there in x-mas time i willhave no one left but my son who is 22 and leaving for isreal for good b/c he has no family here in the usa b/c of how my mom is .
i can not belive that the first words out of my moms mouth was to my cousin not to speak to me-- to my cousin! it goes to show how right i was all along that she tells everyone to stay away from me b/c she didnt protect me when i was 11 and i told her that my step father molested me and she wanted to hide it under the carpet and blame me for trying to seduce him at 11. how sick and twisted is that? blaming your 11 yr old for trying to seduce a man who is 40 yrs old, he never answered for his crime agaisnt me and against nys
this is how sick and twisted she is, i want nothing to do with her at all and i hopes she lives to be 120 and out lives everyone so no one gets her 2 million dollar estate and goes to NY state instaed, i told her i didntwant her dirty money from that house aas she owes me in soul now for all this she put me through. i have lived 50 yrs and in all my life as being a teacher, i have met all kinds of people but never anyone as rotten and evil as her. NEVER, i didnt think families could get this bad but they can as proven by her in my family.
here is who she hurt in her life time
1. she and her father hurt my auntie the youngest and made her mentally unstable and insecure as she still is today,
2. my dad whio tried like the ****ens to get her everything she ever wanted but was never enough for her, he bought her a mink stole jewelery and a french poodle 400dollars and bought my brother a bb gun when he was 12 and tried to make everyone happy but when he saw he could not do right by anything he started drinking and she kicked him out but would have any ways whether or not drinking
3. she hurt me by not believing me that i was molested by my step father and kicked me out of the hosue when i got pregnant at 17 and had to go on welfare and slep at different friends houses
3 she hurt me by telling everone in the family to stay away from b/c i was nothing buy trouble for everyone although i hurt no one and really needed someone in the family to love me
4 her 2rd husband who molested me eventually left her and for an younger woman probalby b/c he wants to find a younger girl in a new family to abuse
5 she kicked out a harvard atty -her 3rd hubby how she found him i will never know he deserved much nicer than her and she got in the way bwteen his daughter and him about money issues when she should have kept her mouth shut b/c i twas none of her business
6 she single handledy drove the family into the ground for 40 yrs and drove her sisters away and my cousins away from everyone in the family so that the family shreded to nothing. so she could have some power and she holds over the house she owns worth lots of money to her 3 other kids left who live far awy and they want nothing really to do with her except for thanksgiving and passover so they can stay in her will.
this is the hand i got dealt with in life. i wrote to her and said if there is a such a thing as reincarnation she will come back to have a very difficult life in her next life b/c of the people she hurt in this one, no excuse for her behavior at all. she needs to learn forgiveness LOVE respect compassion andeverythnig else that goes along with dignity, for she has none of these qualities but demands them from others in her life. the most selfih person i ever met.
Post Edited (missie1227) : 9/24/2006 6:24:17 PM (GMT-6)
Thank you Shell, Rosie, Sis and Michelle....I want to come to the land of fun...my reprieve didnt last long...they are at it again and I am worried that I may go nuts here.... Promise you'll come visit me in the Psych ward...
Hi missie, I am very sorry for all you have been through and can see that it stresses you out greatly. I am only 33 yrs old and though many would say that my life is just begining they can never see the things that I have had to already lived through. Things that no one should have to go through nor endure especially a child as I did. I dont like to compare pasts or who has it worse as we each have gone through terrible things that we struggle with on a daily basis. My family problems are just one stressor in my life that triggers my anxiety, it by all means isnt all that I deal with or all that I have dealt with.
Howlyncat has given you a wonderful suggestion in writting a letter about all of this. Some people think it helps more if you write it out with pen and paper as you can see the emotion coming out that way. Even if you dont do this you may really want to think about some counseling as this may help greatly. My thoughts will be with you....Take care
NO nut house for you either come here my house is a nut house ......
Love your sis
Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 9/26/2006 8:12:03 AM (GMT-6)