last few days have been sooo bad

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amos
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 58
   Posted 9/24/2006 11:06 AM (GMT -6)   
well on friday i went to the dr to have some blood work done, he wants to check my hormone levels, thyroid(again), seratonin, and do a 24hr urine. when i got there i was so upset that they couldn't do the tests, i now have to go monday morning. anyways friday all day long i had this uncontrollable crying couldn't stop for nothing thought i was just totally losing it, so the dr sent me to see a counselor and i talked to her for awhile and she will start seeing me in october every 2 weeks. i don't know what's wrong with me i don't really feel like i'm deppressed i just don't know.i was switched from cymbalta to lexapro wed and it seems to be going okay. then yesterday i get my period!!! that's the second time this month!! maybe this is a hormonal imbalance i have no idea i just am so sick of this i could just scream!! mad my husband doesn't understand what's going on he told me he looks at me and feels like i've given up on myself and everything around me. he is concerned about my weight because i have lost 30 pounds and i don't really eat anymore unless someone makes me or i force myself, he told me last night that i am probably malnutritioned and i can't afford to lose any more weight that i already look to thin. i am not doing any of this on purpose, i want to be the wife and mother i was before i'm just stuck in a place right now that's hard for me to get out of. i feel like i'm such a burden at times, i look around and see that i am making my family suffer i don't want that i soo don't want that, i love them so much and i don't want this to effect their lives. thank you for listening,
                                                amos sad

janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 9/24/2006 11:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Amos,
It certainly sounds like hormones are at least a contributing factor to what you're going thru right now! I feel so bad for you!! I think some of my "downs" have been effected by hormones as well, but that it's not the WHOLE reason. Please continue to go to the doctor and counselor! If things get so bad that you start feeling suicidal, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE call your doc or crisis center. Things WILL get better. It may take some time as with meds it's often a trial and error thing until they get it right! Hang in there! It's true that your husband doesn't understand! He likely hurts your feelings by some of his comments (my mom, bless her heart, has done similarly with me!), but he does love you or he wouldn't be worried about you!
As to not wanting your problem to effect your family's lives, remember that there's no way around that. If the situation was reversed, you'd be effected by their distress too. But keep in mind that you would STILL love them and want them around!!! I've had so many of the same feelings you've described and my heart goes out to you!!! Whatever you do, DON"T GIVE UP. As to your weight loss, it is understandable, but keep forcing yourself to eat what you possibly can. Have you tried Ensure? Also, get a quality multi-vitamin with minerals. please feel free to email me and I'll send you some good links that you may find helpful.
Take care and remember everyone here cares and we're on your side!
HUGS!!!!!!!!!!! janet


"if there's someone you know and loving them so, but taking them all for granted, you may lose them one day, someone takes them away and they don't hear the words you long to say...I would give evrything I own just to touch you once again...just to hold you once again."
From the song "Everything I Own" by David Gates (Bread)
He wrote this for his father, after he passed away. Don't hold a grudge. It takes up so much room, it crowds out the love...
 
_____________________________________________________________
If you want to keep things in perspective when the little things are getting you upset, say what I say: "And the starving children in Africa thought THEY had a problem!" Suddenly, the fact that you forgot to get an item at the store or dropped a glass of juice doesn't seem all that big a deal anymore.


Georgia5
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 9/24/2006 2:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Amos,

I'm a so so very sorry your going through a hard time. When the girl thing happens to me I’m generally a mess and my anxiety is really really high. Yesterday I started crying for no reason and was upset at my boyfriend for something completely ridiculous because of my hormones. Also if you've lost that much weight your husband might be right and you need to make sure you’ve got plenty of nutrients in your body. Try eating a little at a time. Hang in there sweetie.

hugs,
Georgia

a.l.
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 279
   Posted 9/24/2006 6:48 PM (GMT -6)   

Amos-

So sorry to hear you are feeling this way, but I can definitely relate!! My anxiety definitely gets worse when I get my period, and lately I have felt weepy all the time in addition to the A/P. My doctor checked my hormones but did not find anything (almost wished she would have!). I have lost 35 pounds (although I did need to lose some weight) and usually cannot eat until dinner time, when I am feeling a little better. My situation at home (husband is out of work and cannot collect unemployment) has also made everything worse.  I keep telling myself that things can only get better- so hang in there and know that my thoughts are with you- sending you a big hug!


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 9/24/2006 7:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Amos I too am sorry all this is going on with you but the input is spot on if the situation was reversed I am sure you would be there for him right ......and of course for your kids
Love has ways of working thru this
Your hubby is right you must eat I have had to be tube fed I would shut off from everything and literally not eat anything just drink ginger ale for dys I went to 88 lbs that is not good and you are not well with that weight loss either everything even hormones and thyroid go way outta wack
Please just try some clear soup or crackers dry toast anything light like that to get some nutrients into your body
Been there hun and it is not a good place to be your anxiety also gets heightened and mood swings were and are still my worst enemy if I dont eat properly and sleep
I have to make myself stop feeling guilty for being sick It is not your fault
Your hubby loves you and is worried that all that he means I am sure ....also been there ..........I can so relate
please keep us posted and try to look after self and even little meals a few times a day will help ..mashed potatoes really helped me out with the weight gain ....
I have had a hysterectomy so I cant help on that subject ..sorry
take care and God Bless
Lyn
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shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 9/24/2006 9:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi amos, i feel so for you, and i hope they get some things worked out soon. I have a hard time with hormones, and it is so hard to deal with, the crying some days just doesnt go away. I blame the hormones for alot of it, i dont think im too depressed either, just hormonal, thats my story and im sticking to it ;)
i hope you feel much better soon, and start eating.....please, that will help surely.....we have to have vitamins! take care and keep us posted,
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/2/2006 8:35 AM (GMT -6)   
How are you doing Amos have not heard from you in awhile
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


amos
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 58
   Posted 10/3/2006 1:59 PM (GMT -6)   
hi everyone thank you for all the replies. i went trucking with my husband last tuesday and we got home on thursday night, the doctor started me on 10mg of lexapro last wednesday so it will be one week tomorrow i don't know if i am having side effects to it or not. i have been having such bad pain through my back and sides so i went to the dr yesterday and he ordered a ct scan of my abdomen and pelvis i had to drink that really gross barium and they did an iv with iodine so my kidneys show up good. i should know the results tomorrow hopefully. let's see what else has happened....oh yesterday i got home from the dr and laid down on the couch and when i woke up BOOM major panick attack it felt like the whole insides of my body was just shaking or something and my pulse was 141 i swear my eyes were probably as big as saucers my heart was beating so hard i thought you could actually see it coming out of my chest!! that sucked really bad i know it was a panick attack but it is so hard to get your brain to realise that's all it is let alone it scared the crap out of me so it lasted almost 45minutes!! i started seeing my counsler and she seems really nice on the 30th of october i will see her again and she is going to try the nur feedback on me so maybe that will help i don't know. i am going to take my ativan 3 times a day for awhile like the bottle says and see if that won't help with the anxiety and panic because every morning i wake up my pulse is always up like around 110 to 130 don't understand that at all.
thanks for all the support and i will let you know what the dr says!
amos
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