should i feel better now?

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 168
   Posted 9/28/2006 12:30 AM (GMT -6)   
I received good news (well at least for me) on Monday. Something I had been worrying about for a month. Background is that my company is laying off 67 people (out of a work force of 700) and I learned Monday that I will not be one of them. There was a dispute about how my seniority should be figured, with a hearing, an arbitrator and all kinds of in-fighting. I knew the decision was coming down on Monday, and I can tell you all weekend long I worried about it.
I just wanted to ask you folks if you think that now since one of my big concerns is over with, should I feel better? I had started taking Lexapro because I was having really bad chest pains. Over the weekend I "only" felt some fluttering-like pains in my chest and my eye was twitching a lot. I guess because I was nervous. There was another really weird thing that happened Friday, which I am embarrassed even to mention, and it left me stuttering and about feeling like a complete idiot in front of my entire neighborhood. (OK. I'll tell you. I thought my house was on fire and I called 911, but when the firemen came out, they said it was just a bad switch that had shorted and nothing was on fire. Coulda fooled me.)
Incidentally, I have had a thorough run of tests by doctors and physically I am perfectly healthy.
So now I guess I feel like I should feel just ducky. Even though... I have been transferred from a very cool job on days to a kinda crappy job on nights... even though my best friend at the job has resigned .... even though my partner is angry about this schedule change... even though I think everybody who matters at my job thinks I'm an idtiot... even though my company is being steered by madmen who are probably going to put it out of business.
I had a mini-argument with my partner last night and it just kind of reminded me that maybe I really do feel, very, very crazy underneath it all. Underneath my wonderful Lexapro. I just started screaming back at her, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP.  And before I went to work today, I had a good long cry because I got to thinking of when my father died when I was a child 32 years ago.
so... am I crazy?
-- MK
mother of Daisy, a very cute doggie

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 24217
   Posted 9/28/2006 12:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Daisysmom, no you are absolutely not crazy. You are under a great deal of stress. Work and worry of layoffs can be rough! Anxiety can fray your nerves big time . As far as the house on fire thing why be embarassed? I would be embarassed if I didn't call the fire dept. and my house went up! You were acting reasonably. Be kind to your self during this time and take time to do breathing and muscle relaxation-it really helps!

Scaredy Cat

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2004
Total Posts : 176
   Posted 9/28/2006 3:28 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi Daisysmom,

No, you are certainly not crazy(well not for calling 911 anyway) lol

As far as the job goes, you must ask yourself a few questions though. Do you really want the new working times and conditions? Is it really more important than your relationship? If everyone really does think you're an idiot and the management is mad, is this where you really want to work? If you accept this crap now what will they throw at you in future?  If you was out of work is this the sort of job you would apply for?

I think my opinion may be obvious but in case it's not ask yourself one more. Can I accept all of this and keep a good level of self-esteem and respect from everyone concerned?

If you answer no to any of the above I think a new job may be calling.  Meanwhile, keep up the lexapro and cuddle Daisy often.
The mind is like a parachute - It works better when it's open.

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 9/28/2006 7:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Daisy you are not crazy at all '
I find myself crying over mom constantly
everything reminds me of her and u know it has not been that long since she died
I never got the closure I needed so I keep being consumed by nightmares and the likes
you are going to be fine
sometimes we do things that may seen crazy to others but I feel you did right calling 911
Jethro had given you some awesome and sound input
Great job Jethro and thanks
you certainly are an asset to this board IMO
take care and do what you feel is best for you to do
and so you can live in a happy frame and not have to worrie about what others are thinking
Take care and God Bless
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tangerine bear
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 941
   Posted 9/28/2006 8:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Daisymom,

I agree with the others, you are NOT crazy! You have been under LOTS of stress, and it is completely reasonable that you would be having anxiety under the circumstances. My therapist told me that loss of a job is like a death, and that people grieve those losses just like a death. Having the threat of termination is enough to set that off! I have had many problems with changes in my job recently, and everyone here has been very supportive and helpful trying to get me through all this and have been trying to gain some self-confidence back. I have been at my job for (too many) years, and every time there is a change of department, I have to go through all the fighting for my tenure, etc. and it is frustrating to say the least. I understand about being in a job for so long, you feel you have way too many years invested to leave, but wonder why you stay. Hey... do we work at the same company.... LOL... those madmen sound so familiar to me!!!! As for calling the fire dept., you definitely did the right thing. I remember the same thing happened to me years ago when I lived in a small town with a volunteer fire department. The fire chief himself even drove up... the whole neighborhood (literally) walked over to see what the fuss was, and it turned out something burned out in our air conditioning system. It's better to call 911 and be safe than to have the house burn!

I am wishing you better days ahead ((((Hugs)))),

Bear :)
It's a jungle out there.....
Theme song from "Monk" by Randy Newman

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 9/28/2006 10:37 AM (GMT -6)   
dont worry daisymom, we all have days like that, yesturday, huge fight with my best friend, and just yelled the same thing ;) im glad that they decided to keep you at a job, even if they changed your position, i hope it works out ok for you. And if i thought my house was on fire, id have called too, dont feel bad, it sounds like it was scarey. i hope things turn around and you feel better. take care and keep us up to date on the fire dept, was there any hot dudes?? ;) just teasing, hugs
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 168
   Posted 10/2/2006 8:23 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi everyone,


thanks for the replies. The first week in the new job didn't go too badly, though the final night, Saturday was about as bad as I thought it would be. We were constantly busy and it was just physically draining even though I just sit at a computer for eight hours.


I really need to think about whether I want to stay there, like Jethro said. Unfortunately I am in a highly specialized field (which pays fairly well at my current workplace) and there's nothing similar within an hour's drive, at least in our lousy local economy. So once things settle down, I am going to look at what my options are if I want to move into a different type of job.


-- MK

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