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Maude
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 10/3/2006 4:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh!  I'm am so glad I finally found you!  I thought there wasn't a forum for panic because I was looking under P for Panic and not A for Anxiety. Duh!  Anyways, I juat read your Panic is...topic, and I just felt like I was coming home to people who understood how real this is.  I had a story I wanted to tell you guys about what happened to me:
 
     So, about 2 months ago, I started having panic attacks, three or more a day, and I couldn't eat because I thought my food was contaminated with things I was allergic to, and I couldn't sleep because I thought I would never wake up.  So, I went on Paxil and have been on it for about 6 weeks, and I've been feeling much better, completely turned around, cured!
     Then I moved and started a new teaching job...Just yesterday we had a pre-semester meeting.  One of my older colleuges who new me from before and helped me get the teaching job brought up in front of the dean and other teachers that she thought something was wrong with me--anxiety, depression, or anorexia--because I had a decreased appetite, the shakes, sleeping lots and (one!) panic attack where i just excused myself to get some air!  So in front of everyone she said that she thought I had mental problems and needed to see a psychiatrist!  I was so embarrased.  Just what I need, all my peers thinking I'm nuts.  What really upset me was that I thought I had improved so much on the paxil--going from several attackes a day to just a two in six weeks.  And what she saw as symptoms of mental illness were really just side effects from the paxil!  I'm embarrassed and feel like all the progress I made was nothing!  God!  Is there no way to win?!

Aussieangel
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 10/3/2006 6:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Maude,

Some people never think before they speak. sad

If it was a physical problem everyone would be cheering you for working hard to overcome it, instead we're faced with stigma from the general public and sometimes friends and family.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/3/2006 6:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Welcome to HW
OMG...the nerve and the total lack of Empathy I would have flipped I think not in front of everyone but I sure would have taken her aside after and said something politely but straight to the point that she had NO BUSINESS talking about you like that in front of your peers or anyone for that matter
This is an ILLNESS plain and true
not something just in our heads
Chemical imbalances and all of that
Drop a note in her inbox to check it out lol
Seriously sounds like she needs to be EDUCATED .......Right on Aussieangel many talk before they think
Keep coming here and getting support
we are all here for you and I hope you see this and I am glad you know you are no longer alone in this
Take care and hey
Hold your head high
you are not CRAZY you have an illness and need not be ashamed of it
Ignorance is Bliss for some and obviously her  
Truth
God Bless.....
Lyn
This has really made me upset I would personally at the next meeting take notes in about A/P and explain what it is and the fact that a high % of "so called Normal " peeps have the same thing and carry on in their lives
Many teachers on here I know and there are Doctors, Lawyers ect that have this:
A/P has no preference on who it grabs hold of
Be well
Lyn
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 10/3/2006 7:50:15 AM (GMT-6)


normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 10/3/2006 7:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Welcome Maude,

I am so sorry this happened to you. Some people are just so..............grrr. I totally agree with Lyn. You have gotten great advice already so I will keep it short. Hang in there and be strong. You seem to have over come alot so far. You can do this. We are behind you. *HUGS*
--Michelle

...I dont want the world to see me, 'cause I dont think that they'd understand
When everythings made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am..."
--Goo Goo Dolls

"Those who are different change the world,
Those who are the same keep it that way."


Maude
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 10/3/2006 8:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks guys!  I've already decided I'm going to sit her down and talk to her about it.  I almost decided to cold turkey on my paxil because of her comments (I know, the logic of this is blurry) which is very dangerous.  I need to tell her that I appreciate her concern, but that she delt with it in the completely wrong way, and that because of the way she delt with it instead of making me feel supported and stronger she made me feel reckless and hopeless.  I also need to explain to her that I've made a lot of progress and that I don't need to be treated as weak or insecure--I CAN HANDLE IT.  I want to tattoo this on my forehead.  Yes, sometimes I think I have lung cancer, asthma, stoke, heart attack, parkinson's, etc, but I'm at a level where I know it is "just" panic and I can deal with work and NEED work and NEED to be treated as proficient and hardy as everyone else.  I could go on and on...
 
On the plus side I found this forum because after the way she treated me I needed support, so I guess every cloud has it's silver lining.  Thanks again! tongue
 

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/3/2006 8:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Maude
PLEASE do ot even think of going cold turkey off any meds especially SSRI's please
This is very dangerous and can have some very severe after effects as well
Yes do sit her down be your rational self ( ya know I find you very rational ) and let her know she did wrong and HURT you in alot of way
You have health anxiety most A/P peeps do and so do not ever be ashamed of this okay
This is an illness and being so ask her would she have done the same if you had cancer / diabetes /crohns .........or other diseases.......I would think not but it is needs to be addressed
I am glad you are going to do this
Very happy that you found us as well
keep posting and you have our support totally
God Bless
Be strong
Live love and Laugh
Lyn
Post and let us know how it all works out
we will be with you in spirit
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


anxiety veteran
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 103
   Posted 10/3/2006 9:49 AM (GMT -7)   
That was a pretty unprofessional thing to do. As a teacher I have never made any secret about my anxiety disorder. I found out there were others like me taking meds and have had at least one panic attack. Teaching is stressful. One of the most stressful professions a person can be in. I have had panic attacks in front of my class and had to deal with it right on the spot. It is difficult at best. Your collegue is misinformed, insensitive, obnoxious and rude. She also doesn't understand the difference between mental illness and physical illness. Anxiety and panic disorders are physical illnesses caused by physical problems. Teachers need to understand and be sympathetic instead of pathetic. Some of their students will suffer from anxiety and panic. They will need a support person to!

Shortstop
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 195
   Posted 10/3/2006 5:43 PM (GMT -7)   
OH do I have a public story to tell....Speaking of being embarrased!!! One of my issues that everytime I would go into a room and the doors were closed my mind automatically thought I was locked in EVEN if there was not a lock on the door....about 5 years ago we began attending a new church and after a little while I felt comfortable enough to begin counseling with the pastor there. So I would meet him and his wife an hour before service for counseling for my panic attacks...

To go into the sanctuary you had to pass through 2 french doors, (no locks) which they mostly kept open all the time...I began to tell them about how I began to panic when they would close those doors...I also told them about how I suffer from aniexty and panic disorders....The pastor actually took me to the doors and showed me that there were no locks on the door...It didn't make me feel better, but service was about to begin...

WELL!!!!! during his message he seemed fit to talk about my aniexty/panic attacks and how I panic because I feel like I am being locked into the sanctuary...He went on to say, we are going to get this devil out of her, we are going to pray for her....HE TOLD ALL MY BUSINESS to the entire congregation that was there that Sunday.!!!!! I was stuck to my chair, I could not breath and needless to say, even his wife froze! Everyone turned to look at me and actually some laughed....I could not believe I was actually going through this and it was not a dream...to say the least we never went back to that church! LOL! I can laugh about it today and do from time to time....

So, yes, I know how ya feel, but those feelings will pass....Hang in there...
 Severe herniated S1 disc that caused never damage on left side and wonderful reflex tricks, mild herniated L4/5 disc, severe spinal stenosis, panic disorder, major depression and if that wasn't enough IBS with the beginning stages of diverticulosis. 


Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 24630
   Posted 10/3/2006 11:01 PM (GMT -7)   
These are two of the most horrific stories I have ever heard. I am so sorry that both of you had to go through this! Shortstop what that pastor did could result in his dismissal. He breached the confidentiality of one of his congregants and should have been called on the carpet by one of the elders. Pastors, counselors, psychologists ect... are only allowed to divulge info when the person in question could pose a threat to himself or others. I certainly hope that these two people can gain some wisdom, discernment and empathy at some point in their (miserable) lives.

Hang tough guys!
Scaredy Cat
"Courage is not the absence of fear...it is being afraid, and doing it anyway!"


Maude
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 10/3/2006 11:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh my god! That is a complete nightmare!My story is nothing compared to that. It's the sort of thing you think only could happen on tv or the movie's. You were so strong not to just leave in the middle of his sermon. Now you've got me wondering what other stories people have...
   won't you celebate with me
 
  won't you celebrate with me
what i have shaped into
a kind of life? i had no model.
born in babylon
both nonwhite and woman
what did i see to be except myself?
i made it up
here on this bridge between
starshine and clay,
my one hand; come celebrate
with me that everyday
something has tried to kill me
and has failed.

Lucille Clifton


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 10/3/2006 11:42 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh my goodness how awful for both of you.  Thankyou for sharing these stories....hopefully one day we will be able to remove the stigma of panic/anxiety by talking about it and raising awareness.  I've never had an experience as bad as these one's but I do get accused of anorexia and drug use because I am so thin and I shake most of the time.  Trust me if I could eat more I would!!!! I just try and laugh it off...at least I save money by shopping in the kid's department!! ((hugs))

Try not to get too disheartened Maude.  Sounds like you are doing well without the med's and anyone who dis-respects you for having anxiety is not worth knowing.  Hold your head up high.  And Shortstop.....I'm sorry, anything I say now about your pastor would get edited out!!


Dance like no-one's watching
NervyMeg


chapstick
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 70
   Posted 10/4/2006 1:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Since my first panic attack at age 44 I have found that it is impossible to explain to people how this affects me. I know that before my panic attack I would have been that other person. I have finally stopped wasting energy on these people and also for every jerk, there are 10 others who will have an open mind.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/4/2006 2:37 AM (GMT -7)   
NM......I get the dang same thing all the time 'Are you sure you eat?" Duh yes I do I have crohns !! that is usually the convo stopper there lol
Rumors abundant in town about drugs and this grates my nerves to no end
I am on Church council here and we did actually fire a Minister for doing exactly what was done to you but talking to other members of the congregation about things people had told her in confidence
There is NO excuse for that kind of Breach of Trust .....NONE
These are horror stories
I am so sorry you both had to go thru this
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


Shortstop
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 195
   Posted 10/4/2006 6:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Some churches, even ours are not under a General Counsel. Though we do have an Official Board of Directors. In this church, the pastor had complete control over the whole church...I knew when he was doing when he did he was breaking the an athethics law...It was just easier for me at the time to just not go back and still have not...Since then though he has been on the news for running a pyramid scheme out of his church and had to go to jail...
I know I can trust my pastor now, he's my hubby...LOL!!! He was ordained in 2005, and we have a small home church....If he talks about me, well he has no where to run...:)

I learned a good lesson...Just because they were nice people, doesnt' mean they deserve my trust and private issues...

But yeah, that would be a great thread, talk about your worst in public horror story....If we can laugh at ourselves we heal....
 Severe herniated S1 disc that caused never damage on left side and wonderful reflex tricks, mild herniated L4/5 disc, severe spinal stenosis, panic disorder, major depression and if that wasn't enough IBS with the beginning stages of diverticulosis. 


shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/4/2006 8:59 AM (GMT -7)   
welocme maude, im glad you found us, and im so sorry for ppl that are so ignorant that they talk before knowing what they are talking about, there are so many ppl that dont understand what a panic attack is, it should get more attention, but alas, we dont, we are known as crazy, which is bs, we have found most of us are more intelligent than the norm ;) and we are sticking to that story hehe.
Good luck and take care, im glad there are ppl that do understand....hugs

shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy

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