having a hard time with stress -long

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missie1227
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 751
   Posted 10/7/2006 10:16 PM (GMT -7)   
eyes   eyes I am having a hard time handling stress anymore it seems. anything that comes my way that is stressful i can not cope with and i do not know what to do about it.
for example, i have a handyman working on my house doing repairs and he created more work for himself by making a leak -he is  installing a work sink in the garage and now there is a big leak all over the floor i had to shut off the main switch to keep it from getting worse.
 
i had problems twice last year alone with leaks both major events  where i needed to re-pipe my entire house and it was not cheap, now i have this handyman who claimed to know how to put in a garage sink in and is fooling around with the pipes, he is not a plumber and my husband authroized him to put in this sink although this is my home and he did nt consult me onthis but went out and bought the sink and began the work, the handyman said it was eay to do but apparently is making more work for himself and bleeding me for money.
so up untill now he had done good work, wallpaper, ceramic tile and some other stuff but it  seems i can not take any more stress.i paid him 2K over two weeks for repairs and renovations to this house.
i did not want his sink to be installed and told my husband that he has to pay for this and any thing else this guy ruins if the leak becomes worse.
 
i own the home myself and paid for it and i have paid for all the repairs myself, my husband owns his onw home and i do not pay for any repairs on his trailer as my name is not on it and it doesnt belong to me.
i do notwant my husband to own my home as it will pass on to my son.
i pay for all repairs and taxes on my own home. 
 
 i am so upset with this leak thing that i dont know waht to do. last year i paid 4-5 K in repairs alone for a major re-piping and sheet rock repair.....
i had tenants then and the rent moeny covered it now i do not have tenants and am paying from own pocket, and running out of money for all these repairs.
i want to fire the guy and hire a bonafided plumber before this gets anyworse as i do not have the confidence in him now to fix it.
i told my hubby he will have to foot the bill for a plumber and this sink business i am so angry at him for authorizing him for doing this to my home  that i could bust at the seams.
 
i would never do anything like this to him or his home without first consulting with him.
i just can not take anymore problems with incompedent people and major errors.
i am so angry with him for doing this to me.
frankly i never would have added this sink to the garage as i have no need for it.now all the sheetrock is soaked and i can get mold and mildew and in fl this is trouble.
we have separate financial accounts as he has his moeny and i have mine after two other failed marriages i learned the hard way to do this to protect myself financially.
i know this may seem like a trival thing to many but i am so stressed out over this and nervous i know houses need repairs and all but this was something that did not really need fixing.
i am waiting to move into my home and it was not perfect but in good shape until this happened.
i am sick of living in his trailor for 5 yrs and have waited nearly two years to be in my own home which is 10 times nicer than this 55+ old age home ( sorry but people who are 80 yrs old live in this place and i have no friends here who are my age 50)
 
 i have not wanted to live here for a long time and have been very unhappy and extremely depressed over having to live here. my dream was to get out of here.
 
i want out of here so bad i can taste it and think part of my depression will improve if i can get out of this senior living and in to my own home instead of 330 sq ft tin can of living to a 3 bdrm 2 ba 2 car garage on a 1/4 acre lot wooded backyard so i can have a pet finally. in here there is not room.
 
 i feel like he is putting the cabash on this sometimes b/c he doesnt want to leave this place and i do. his mother lives here 2 streets over and she and i do not get along, period. she meddles and interferes with our relationship and i want to move by the first of the year into my home i told my husband he could come wit hme or stay here with her 2 streets over. he says he wants to be with me, but keep his trailor which is okay with me so long as i do not have to interact with his mother i really do not care what he does with her as this has nothing to do with me.
 
so i am really trying here.
 
 
 
 i am very dissapointed in the cymbalta as i was well on it but got rashes on my legs and and made my heart rate go high and kept me up all night long and made me nausaous as all get out  but it did work for me and took away  alot of my pain issues and helped me be more alert.
 
 
i was so hoping for this to be the magic bullet i have been searching for 4 yrs now and counting on for my AP/ depression
now i can not take.
 
my heart is deeply saddened as i have tried nearly every single AD on the market and could not take them or they worked and then aged out on me.
i feel a pet would help me and until i get into my home i can not have one
and also i feel a different envoriment would also be of help.
 
 
i have to stay with my husband b/c he does offer me some support
and even though it is not a perfect relationship at 50, i am not going out searching for someone new.
and i really do not want to be alone.
 
he doesnt smoke or drink and taht means alot to me.
he has his good qualities and i invested 6 yrs into this relationship and we have bascially fought  it all out already and i learned how to overlook most of his bad attributes.
so i usually dont try to get angry at him but when he did this it really made me mad as i dont need anymore things to worry about and stress over. and he knows this.
9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!


Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 24652
   Posted 10/7/2006 11:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Missy! It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life right now. I'm sorry that you are struggling and still trying to find the right "magic bullet" I'm not sure that a/p and depression are ever cured with a magic anything, but rather it is a process that has its good days and not so good days. I hope that you will be blessed with many good days. Use your relaxation techniques and treat yourself well! Take Care and let us know how you are doing.

Scaredy Cat
"Courage is not the absence of fear...it is being afraid, and doing it anyway!"


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/8/2006 2:27 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree totally with SC you wont ever find a majic bullet hun you have to first find that peace within your self and seems to me being in your new home would first start the process
next the pet and so on
fulfill your dreams
YOU can do it
you are strong enough......we are here for you .........
I am 52 almost 53 just bought my first home and I am sooo looking forward to it it will be anxiety city but I dont give a "tinkers Dang"
I will at least have room to move and have room for friends to come and stay
Be strong stand your ground and find that peace
Take care
Lyn
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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


missie1227
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 751
   Posted 10/8/2006 2:53 AM (GMT -7)   
thank you both for saying so. i have put up with alot of stuff in my life and you guys know me and what a fuss budget i can be about everythnig. i was hoping when i saw some satisfaction  in my life that i would be in a happier place than i am now. i want this to work. and i am determined to  beat this and make this work.
i have no other choices left which is why i am trying so hard for the first time in my life i will have the house of my dreams and maybe it isnt a mansion or anything too glamours but it is my home where i can be comfortable and maybe make some friends. i desperatley need somefriends in my life.
 
i feel if i have a place i can offer a person a cup of joe and meet new folks on the block i can make friends which will help me out of my depression and negativity.
 
normally i am not a negative person only since this crash it has come i wanna be the person who i once was gracious and loving and plan all the holidays again and dress up my home with hoildays lights and halloween and more to cheer me up.
if feel this would go a long way to helping me recover.
thanks you all. hugs
9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/8/2006 2:56 AM (GMT -7)   
It will happen sweetie it will okay
Always remember we are here and we are your extended family
Lyn yeah


    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   

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