I like this place but don't know if I can stay.

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I_willconquer
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 77
   Posted 10/8/2006 7:39 AM (GMT -6)   
i Just want to thank everyone for their help and support. This is such a lonely disorder, and I couldn't even imagine having it all my life. Many threads bring me comfort or confirmation, but at the same time because the enemy tries to bring the spirit of hypochondria around I think some posts adds to my anxiety. I took the melatonin last night,


didn't really seem to have any effect.Even went to bed listening to a cd. I tried making myself go to bed at 7:30(since I was up for over 24hrs) but again my heart started racing as I was just about to doze off, so I came downstairs,turned the tv and and gradually fell asleep. My dog woke me two hrs later and I went back up stairs and it only took me bout 15min to fall asleep. I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to sleep again. Guys I don't want to go to the hosp, I don't want to be diagnosed, or labeled. I don't want to have to take meds everyday to function. I really hope this will go away. Like i said in a previos post, I'd rather have one or 2 panic attacks in a day, then a constant, or intermitent anxiety during the day. Do you guys ever feel like it won't end. I keep telling myself this is only temporary.

I am going to church this morning(as I do every sunday) Part of me wants to ask for prayer, but part of me is proud.

Anyway I just wanted to thank everyone, and if I drop off or stop posting, it's not anything personal, but something I feel I need to do to keep myself mentally healthy, lol.

Post Edited (I_willconquer) : 10/8/2006 6:46:32 AM (GMT-6)


I_willconquer
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 77
   Posted 10/8/2006 7:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Had a thought as soon as I hit submit. I think the fact that this is new and coming here makes me think or focus on the issue,just magnifies anxiety...hard to explain. I wanted to get on so bad last night when i couldn't fall asleep.

normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 10/8/2006 8:00 AM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry is hard for you to be here. Always know even if you do leave us we will be here if you ever want to come back. You will be in our thoughts and prayers. Hang in there and let us know if there is anything we can help with.
--Michelle

...I dont want the world to see me, 'cause I dont think that they'd understand
When everythings made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am..."
--Goo Goo Dolls

"Those who are different change the world,
Those who are the same keep it that way."


jethro
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2004
Total Posts : 176
   Posted 10/8/2006 8:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Obviously you must go with whatever you decide is best for you.
As you say, it is a lonely disorder, but sadly one of its strengths is that it makes people want to withdraw further, thus perpetuating and increasing itself.
 
You have a good, positive attitude and if you want it to be temporary then it will be.
Never be afraid to seek help, it is not weakness but a sign of inner strength, you should be proud that you had the courage to ask.  
 
If it helps, when you read other peoples posts here, don't dwell on their problem, focus on how you could help them find an answer.  Finding solutions for other people sometimes helps to discover answers for yourself by giving a different and much clearer viewpoint.
 
Take care and be happy 


The mind is like a parachute - It works better when it's open.


greyhound
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 277
   Posted 10/8/2006 10:32 AM (GMT -6)   
God bless you.
Adopt a retired racing greyhound


Shebig
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 10/8/2006 11:28 AM (GMT -6)   

I'm sorry you had a bad night, this is such a tough disorder to deal with. I sometimes feel ancious when reading some posts also, usually the ones that hit home. I think if you want to leave you should, but I hope not.

I always think this will never end, but is does, with lots of prayer, medication and help from others.Don't be too proud, ask for those prayers at church, I know I do.

God Bless, Hugs Judy smurf


shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/8/2006 11:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there i will conquer, (great name btw) I am so sorry that this place makes you even a tad bit anxious, but i do understand that it makes you think about it. I wish you the best, i hope you can stay and talk and get some more support, but i really do understand..... Please know that we will be here whenever you need someone.
hugs shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 23947
   Posted 10/9/2006 1:24 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi will conquer! I totally know what you are feeling right now. I too struggled with the posts at first. I started out as a guest just reading the archives, then I joined as a member. At times something I would read would make me shaky or uncomfortable, so I would log off and return another time. Now I don't know what I would do w/out this place :) As far as not wanting to go to the Dr. and being diagnosed...It's like we are twins or something! I too had a really hard time with that!!! But I'll tell you what, once I did it - I felt so much relief, and now I am getting the help that I need and deserve! I do not take medication, and if that is something you are not comfortable with, you don't have to either. No one can make you! Your treatment is up to YOU. I am now in therapy, and it is doing wonders...no panic attacks in weeks. Please, I encourage you to stay on with us and see a doctor. I know it is different for everyone, but these things have been my saving grace! And speaking of grace, ask for prayer from your church family...those who have faith are not exempt from anxiety! It is a medical condition-nothing to be ashamed of. You would not think twice about receiving prayer for being sick, or having a physical injury! I think you will find that your friends at church will be compassionate...mine were!

Take Care
Scaredy Cat
"Courage is not the absence of fear...it is being afraid, and doing it anyway!"


seechell
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 10/9/2006 2:03 AM (GMT -6)   

Dear Will-

You do whatever you need to do to feel good. But I just want to share a couple of my ideas or beliefs for a second. I hope this helps. I'm not trying to preach. If it comes across that way, please accept my apology ahead of time. Here we go. First, I have a hard time sharing my deep thoughts and feelings with those who are close to me. It's much easier here with a bit of anonymity. Second, I have come to feel a part of this family here. There is always someone who can relate to what you are going through and someone to talk to about anything. Third, I have a great belief in God and Jesus Christ.  I understand about the pride thing, I really do. My hubby and I are going through some very difficult times right now, financially and with my health. It has been a very humbling experience for me to ask for help. I'm very independant about most things. I'm hard-headed. I took a lot of courage for me to go in on my knees, swallow that pride, and ask for help. I was told I should have asked sooner. It has been given willingly. I have a couple of friends through my church that I know I can call and they are here in an instant. I get through things with the help of my Lord, my church, my family, my friends and my new friends here. Again, I apologize if I sound preachy, it's not meant to be that way. Each one of us has the right to live as we choose and I would never shove anything down someone's throat. I've had that happen to me and I didn't deal well with it. I tend to dig my feet in and do just the opposite. I hope you decide to stick around. I know there will be someone here who can help you and in turn who you can help.  

Hun some of this is against the rules as I explained in last edit ....I know you are not trying to convert or preach but could you please keep some of your religious beliefs and ways to self .I too am very spiritual yet I know I cannot go and put all that on here .......you can share your email thru your profile thus talk to peeps that way about this okay .

I am not trying to pick on you at all and I hope you dont see it that way ........Any questions please email me directly at my addy in my profile or one of other mods .....but prob would be best to me as I am one editing .........Have a great day and keep posting you are an asset to this board IMO..........Lyn

 

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 10/9/2006 5:53:41 AM (GMT-6)


honeypie
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 10/9/2006 2:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there, i can relate to what you are feeling,i found this forum when i started to be diagnosed with fibro... I also suffer with anxiety,panic attacks and at first i didnt know if it would help or just keep reminding me of what i am going through...I remember writing in one of my posts that i wish that i never had heard the word fibromyalgia but then i realized that i was in denial and that for me is not healthy... I can understand that you dont want to be reminded everyday of what it is that you are going through but i believe that when you have somewhere that you can go and be with people who are experiencing the same thing that you are, that it helps to know that you are not alone... I know how much this forum has helped me, but hey that is just me... Do whatever is best for you, but know that in here you are not alone...We are all here for you...If you do decide to leave know that my prayers go with you... :)

P.S. Ask and you shall receive...

The best six doctors anywhere and no-one can deny it, are,sunshine,water,rest,air,exercise and diet...
These six will glady you attend,
if only you are willing,
your mind they will ease,
your will they'll amend,
and charge you not a shilling...


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/9/2006 6:54 AM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry but I too am able to relate and as Normal said if you decide to come back we are here for you with open arms and heart
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/9/2006 11:36 AM (GMT -6)   
hi again will conquer, i hope your feeling ok and we will still think of you and keep you in our thoughts, and hope you can post more when you get ready.
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


I_willconquer
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 77
   Posted 10/11/2006 1:46 AM (GMT -6)   
thanks for the kind words. well yesterday was a good day for me, i even slept well. tonight, or shoud i say this morning, since it's now morn...not so good. can't sleep..even took a unisom, and it just seemed to make my heart race more. starting to get a lil sleepy now, so we'll see. I think i will just stick to certain threads or bypass the ones that may cause me more anxiety.

i need some really good book recomendations!!!!!!!

seechell
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 10/11/2006 2:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Will-
What kind of books do you like? I am an avid avid reader, anything I can put my hands on. Sometimes I read 2-3 books at a time. Have quite a few recommends but I'd like to know what genre you enjoy. Really! I also like those silly fill-it-ins, they look like crossword puzzles but aren't, the number ones are my favorite. And my hubby got me hooked on sudoku. Or here I am at 1:15 am posting on this board after taking my sleep meds and still can't sleep. My mind just seems to go on and on and I can't shut it off. Can totally relate.
Take Care,
               Chelle
    "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
  DX: ankylosing spondylitis, periferal neuropathy, chronic migraines/headaches, depression/panic attacks, hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, orthostatic hypotension, sleep apnea
  RX: synthroid, estradiol, cymbalta, xanax, proamatine, inderal la, neurontin, torfanil pm, celebrex, sonata, aspirin, relpax, phenergan, esgic plus
  Surgeries: hysterectomy 1997, tonsillectomy 2001, deviated septum 2005, cataracts (both eyes) 2006
 
 


Twiggygal
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 924
   Posted 10/11/2006 3:37 AM (GMT -6)   
I honestly don't know which is worse... having anxiety all throughout the day or having a panic attack once or twice a day.
 
I'm going to go with panic attacks because I can handle anxiety, but having two panic attacks leaves you so mentally exhausted and unwilling to try to even get out of bed the next day.
 
I know you don't want to have to take meds everyday.
 
But neither did I.
 
Without treatment though, the disease gradually gets worse.  You need some kind of help; therapist or meds.
 
I was suffering for months thinking I could just "get over this", feeling anxious and having panic attacks 24/7 (sometimes at 4 AM trying to sleep) and I was at the end of the line, not knowing where I could turn to next.
 
I was never a person to get on meds but now that I'm on Lexepro and Ativan I can lead a normal life (as normal as one can be with this disorer)... a panic attack here and there... but most of the anxiety goes away.
 
I feel so much better than I did before I was on meds, so much better. 
 
I want to take CBT, and that should help too with getting through situations that are difficult (like going to malls, or driving farther than I think I can).
 
Turning away completely from this site I don't think is the best idea.
 
But good books to read.. lets see.. I've become an avid reader since this whole ordeal started...
 
"Letters from Emily"
"Lucky"
"Welcome to my planet"
 
 
and there's a lot more I just can't think of off the top of my head that I read in the past couple weeks lol.
 
Twiggygal~
"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."




I_willconquer
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 77
   Posted 10/11/2006 6:42 AM (GMT -6)   
I kinda want to stay away from books that focus more on the problem than the solution. I'm also careful of my words bc I know that words are powerful. I was on one site and the board is called 'our anxiety'. Yes I realize it's called anxiety, but by claiming that(our)...seemed all to permanent. A lady at church gave a testimony how she suffered panic attacks for 3monyhs along w/ insomnia and shared how God Gradually healed/delivered her from it.She was a guest speaker and I know she wasn't there by coincidence. I flock to positive speaking ppl...not ones that say we will ALWAYS HAVE THIS, WE JUST DEAL...IT NEVER GOES AWAY(sorry caps) like i said, not in denial but i believe the more positive one thinks, believes, and feels the better the outcome will be. Theres a member here who said that a book set her free (well the principals) on another thread...waiting for her to share what book it was. I will prbly order 2-3 online.

Thankfully I don't have social anxiety...i actually FEEL better around ppl. Mine tends to come more at bedtime.

Post Edited (I_willconquer) : 10/11/2006 5:54:22 AM (GMT-6)


MsKittie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 789
   Posted 10/11/2006 7:03 AM (GMT -6)   
 
I, like the others here have found at times some of the post to be upsetting when they hit to close to home.
 
I have found and recived a lot of understanding, compassion and friendships here and in the chat rooms. We all are here to help each other but there are times we just want to escape our feelings and just be ourselves and talk about other things. Please before you do decide to leave us come to visit us in chat and see if that will help you feel better. You are welcome to go to any room you like there a lot of the members kinda seem to gather to one room but it gets our minds off our illnesses. Hope to see you soon.
(((HUGS)))
   MsKittie
 
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
I have an illness, My illness don't have me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

 


aloisia
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/11/2006 5:38 PM (GMT -6)   
I am new to this site and already it feels better to know that my symptoms of anxiety - especially early morning anxiety - are
very common. My anxiety on waking is this: all that has ever gone wrong in my life - everything that is wrong now - AND
everything that I fear in the future. These three deamons
stand by my bedside 365 days of the year. There is nothing I can do in this twilight zone between sleep and awakening.
It is 100 percent awful.
However, I have developed strategies. The best is not to lie
there but get out of bed as fast as I can. Often the symptoms lessen after opening the curtains and a cup of something hot.

On a particularly bad day it also helps to write down what is really still good in my life and do a reality check. I know I can
talk and write my way out of these awful feelings of dread
but what I find so frustrating is that I have these feelings
every day of my life whether I have a good day ahead of me
or whether I have a dentist's appointment.

I do feel that it is primarily a chemical inbalance and would give almost everything I possess to once again be able to wake up and not feel so immensly afraid. In the meantime it just helps to read other peoples' similar experiences.

good night aloisia

MsKittie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 789
   Posted 10/11/2006 7:23 PM (GMT -6)   
 
Welcome to HW you will find pleanty of careing, compasionate    loving members that are going thru the same things you are. Me all may not have the same illnesses but we all suffer the same.
 
Can you tell us a little more about yourself just to get to know you. What are your illnesses, are you on meds, married, kids,grand kids.
 
If you have any questiong please feel comfortable enough to aske them.
 
Hope up the posting and hope to see you in the chat rooms sometime.
 
 
(((HUGS)))
   MsKittie
 
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
I have an illness, My illness don't have me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

 

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