could my 8 year have an anxiety disorder

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helpingme
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/8/2006 6:45 AM (GMT -7)   
i have struggled with anxiety for almost 8 years now. i have always been very careful to not let my 3 children see me in a panick. recently my 8 year old has been seeming very sad at times. she will start to cry and says she doesnt know why. she says she just feels worried about something. this breaks my heart. i try to talk to her without giving her to much info about my problem. just trying to let her know that i understand how she feels. i guess my question is do any of you have children that suffer from anxiety and what is to early to have them on meds. if necissary? i so dont want her to have to go through this terrible disorder. please give advice. thanks!

JKRsGirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 10/8/2006 7:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi helpingme,

I don't have children, but from experience I can tell you that children tend to see what you think you're hiding from them. My mom has suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. I used to get anxious about upsetting her because I thought it might depress her even more. She'd fight with my dad and I'd get anxious. I'd worry about my kid sister and I always thought that those threats of divorce would one day come true.

Now, that being said, my mom didn't alway try to HIDE it. As a matter of fact, I think she was TOO open with us after a while. At 10 or 11 I can first remember her telling me about the problems in her marriage. I always felt like I was going against my dad just by listening to her. (And they wonder where anxiety and PA start)

OK, that's enough about my childhood. What I'm (poorly) trying to say is that children are much more perceptive than you think. I can't/won't offer you advice as to medication, etc. for your daughter other than maybe a school counselor. I don't know if depression is self taught or hereditary, but it seems to be a bit of both. Maybe try to get to the root of what is bothering her. Try starting there if she is open to that. Let her ask questions and come to you. I wish my mom would have spent less time talking about my dad and more time talking about herself. A LITTLE insight to the fact that she was depressed might have helped me to see things about her differently.

I hope I haven't said anything out of bounds. Take care and ((HUGS)). It certainly is difficult watching someone you love going through a difficult time in their life.


Life's a journey, not a destination ~ Aerosmith
A good friend is one who thinks you're a good egg even though you're half-cracked.


helpingme
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/8/2006 7:27 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks for your reply. im just so confused and dont want her to feel alone. thanks again.

normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 10/8/2006 7:43 AM (GMT -7)   
I suggest you just try and remind her the lines of communication are open and if she needs anything to come to you. Other than that I have not much to offer you. I am sure others will be by later to comment.
--Michelle

...I dont want the world to see me, 'cause I dont think that they'd understand
When everythings made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am..."
--Goo Goo Dolls

"Those who are different change the world,
Those who are the same keep it that way."


jethro
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2004
Total Posts : 176
   Posted 10/8/2006 8:46 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree entirely with JKRsGirl.
Also 8 year olds see things very differently to adults, so although she may see what you're hiding it may look very different to her.  She may be 'feeling' your anxiety but not know why.
If you usually disappear to panic in private she could be feeling a bit insecure or think you're keeping secrets from her and put her own reasons to it.
 
Personally I think she is far too young to consider meds.  Lots of smiles, lots of hugs, fun and involvement are her best medicine.
 
How old are your other children and are they ok?
The mind is like a parachute - It works better when it's open.


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 10/8/2006 11:51 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi there,

Children are far more perceptive than people tend to realise. Try talking to her about your own condition in a very general sense but be careful not to lead up to anything where you are uncomfortable yourself. If you show her that you are prepared to give some information, perhaps she will give some in return.

My thoughts are with you

Darren


 


helpingme
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/8/2006 1:05 PM (GMT -7)   
in response to jethro my other two children are 10 and 12 and they seem to be perfectly fine. thanks for your response. do you think maybe this is just a phase for her?

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 24671
   Posted 10/8/2006 10:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Anxiety can certainly start in childhood. It has been suggested that it is hardwired into our genetic make-up and personality and can manifest itself early. Therapists will often ask people w/ a/p to consider their childhood and more often than not they will report shyness, fearfullness, worry and other anxiety traits from an early age. That said, I do not mean to say that your daughter has an anxiety disorder, or will develop one! Many children are just sensitive and grow up to be healthy anxiety free adults. Keep an eye on her, talk and keep communication open and be glad that you are informed, so you can give her the best care possible!

Take Care
Scaredy Cat
"Courage is not the absence of fear...it is being afraid, and doing it anyway!"


anxiety veteran
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 103
   Posted 10/9/2006 11:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Anxiety can start at a very early age. Eight is about the time I started dealing with it. I didn't realize at the time that was anxiety. I had the characteristics. I am a perfectionist. I don't handle stress like I should nor do I have good coping skills. A person can feel stress at any age. I see anxiety in my students every year. I try to help them in subtle ways and to help them relax and handle stressful situations. I think learning to handle stress early is important and when bad things happen in a child's life we need to do our best  to teach them good coping skills. Children have a hard time opening up about things that are bothering them or hurting them. As a teacher I try to be as observant as I can. I don't want my students to suffer, especially if I am there to help them and can help them.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/9/2006 11:57 AM (GMT -7)   
I saw my mother when I was her age and she also "thought" she was doing a good job of hiding her problems but I was so close to Mom that I KNEW at that age something was wrong
I became emotionally able to put up walls and not let ppl in and still do only certain pple can bring those walls down
DO NOT beat your self up over this please....as was said by Normal........ Keep the lines of comminication open always let her know Mom is there as you are doing ......you cannot be held responsible entirely for this there always is some predisposition IMO
My daughter Cait is a teen is an "A " student .......perfectionist type A personality with OCD tendencies
YES this she got from me irregardless of how hard I tried to "Hide it "
I always talk to her about everything I have family that think I let her talk to me about things I should not
Thats my business not theirs
My doc had Cait on meds for SHORT term only 1 month weaned her off and we go to couselling now
I dont think it would be a good idea to give an 8 yr old meds but I am not a doc and I dont want her to be not looked after right by the doc
Please do take her to see one and talk for her and or let her talk for herself ........
I wish you all the best hun and I am truly sorry this is happening with your precious daughter .......
you want to talk add me to MSN okay its in profile
My Cait talks to her "Big Sis " Normal .........and this helps her out tremendously
Be well and again do not beat self up please
Lyn


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         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 10/10/2006 6:32:03 AM (GMT-6)


normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 10/9/2006 5:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Big sis? where lol Yeah shes a great kid. When she needs me I will be there. Sometimes kids need to talk to someone who isnt thier parent (sorry parents)
--Michelle

...I dont want the world to see me, 'cause I dont think that they'd understand
When everythings made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am..."
--Goo Goo Dolls

"Those who are different change the world,
Those who are the same keep it that way."


MsKittie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 789
   Posted 10/9/2006 5:40 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi helpingme,

A big welcome to HW. I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter and your illness. You sound like you are a very careing and loving mother to all your daughters and you are all very close and they know they can come to you for help. This all shows your strength. You will find pleanty of support here at HW and please visit us in chat sometimes you will also find a lot of answers and support there too.


 


(((HUGS)))
   MsKittie
 
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
I have an illness, My illness don't have me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/10/2006 5:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Great idea as well
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   

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