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shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/16/2006 4:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Ok, sitting here having an attack, i have to go to my sons band concert in a few minutes, and i just cant take the public sometimes. I dont always do this, at work, its familiar territory, so it doenst bother me much most the time, but a school function, crowded, loud and scarey for me......i have to go alone, my daughter is sick.....so that makes it worse, i dont EVER go anywhere and sit alone...... nono not a good thing for me.  Ok, i can do this, i have to.....wish me luck all.... mad
 
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


jethro
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2004
Total Posts : 176
   Posted 10/16/2006 4:18 PM (GMT -7)   

You can do it.

Good luck, but you wont need it because you can do it. And enjoy it. yeah


The mind is like a parachute - It works better when it's open.


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 10/16/2006 4:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Good luck to my lovely Miss Shell!!!! -- Take a choccy bay in your pocket -- you can always pretend you did a poo and run away lol! (Take that image with you and have a secret giggle to yourself when you feel bad!!)

(((Shell)))

Lots of love,
Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Moderator, Bipolar Forum


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/17/2006 3:43 AM (GMT -7)   
YOU will do it
You are strong
'You know you can do it
We are with you all the way sis
Love ya
sista
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


paniccu
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1009
   Posted 10/17/2006 6:16 AM (GMT -7)   
How did it go? I get a little anxious too when I have to be in a crowded place where I won't be able to move around and I have to be quiet.

shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/17/2006 6:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Well i did make it, im alive ;) but it wasnt fun, it was crowded into the school cafeteria (and they have the neatest auditoriums for the schools, no fair) and there was people standing everwhere by the time it started, i was petrified, i was there a lil to early, i got a seat, i should have waited and stood in the back. At least i would have known i had a quick getaway. Oh well, it was scarey, but it shouldnt be, its my son......grrrrrrr. From what i do recall, they sounded very good. I dont remember it all though :(
whew, glad its over....i feel like a horrible mother when that type of thing happens.....
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 10/17/2006 8:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Well done Shell!!!! This deserbes massive CONGRATULATIONS!!!! No more of that "it shouldn't be" and "I feel like a horrible mother": you proved in fact what a *wonderful* mother you are for being that afraid and going through with it anyway. If I were wearing a hat, I would take it off to you (and throw it in the air with a big "HOORAY"!!!

Lote of love,
Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Moderator, Bipolar Forum


Shortstop
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 195
   Posted 10/17/2006 9:40 AM (GMT -7)   
YEAH!! YOU DID IT!!!
 Severe herniated S1 disc that caused never damage on left side and wonderful reflex tricks, mild herniated L4/5 disc, severe spinal stenosis, panic disorder, major depression and if that wasn't enough IBS with the beginning stages of diverticulosis. 


bluemeanies
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 1372
   Posted 10/17/2006 9:52 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree that by going you have proved that you are indeed a good mother. Not everyone can overcome their fears for the benefit of their family. And just think what it meant for your son to see you there.

normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 10/17/2006 10:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Major congrats shell. That is a wonderful accomplishment. Remember its not weather we get anxious or not its if we seriously try or not. You go girl sooo proud a ya Sis/Aunt. Keep it up.
--Michelle

...I dont want the world to see me, 'cause I dont think that they'd understand
When everythings made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am..."
--Goo Goo Dolls

"Those who are different change the world,
Those who are the same keep it that way."


paniccu
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1009
   Posted 10/17/2006 11:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Don't feel bad, you did it even though you didn't feel comfortable. Your son probably didn't even notice that you were anxious.

shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/18/2006 6:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all, i feel much better now, i didnt look at it like that, thank you so much for saying that, sometimes its hard to feel like a good mother with these things. Today, im off to the ER again, for my son and me, he got hurt in a football game late last night, (they played out of town) and was so tired when he got home, he wanted to go this morning, We should have both went last night, but my wonderful drunk miserable friend, well had to babysit her, that wears me out completely, she knows she makes me anxious every time i see her, and she hates that, and thats one of those ppl that tell you its all in your head. I took her kids from her last night, i took them to other places so they wouldnt have to listen to her, me and my daughter both almost came to knocking her out, tell us, in front of her kids, TAKE THEM, I DONT WANT EM! I cant imagine how horrible that feels for them, i told her heck yeah, i want em, you dont deserve them, and my daughter had even more to say, but anyways, GRRRRRR Im tired of fixing things for everyone else, and not being able to fix me, how frustrating that is....
i feel like someone is cutting me open with a knife where i had c-sections. and i can barely stand up straight......i feel like i am falling apart everywhere......goodness ive complained enough, wish me luck at the er again. I will be back asap. hugs to all
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 10/18/2006 8:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Good luck Shell we are al with ya.
--Michelle

...I dont want the world to see me, 'cause I dont think that they'd understand
When everythings made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am..."
--Goo Goo Dolls

"Those who are different change the world,
Those who are the same keep it that way."


paniccu
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1009
   Posted 10/18/2006 10:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Good luck at the ER. Oh boy that's some heavy stuff you're dealing with about your "friend" That really stinks.

Chuckle.xxx
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 624
   Posted 10/19/2006 1:00 AM (GMT -7)   
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah
 
Well done, I am so proud of you yeah yeah yeah yeah

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/19/2006 6:48 AM (GMT -7)   
yeah Sista mine I ma doing that lil dance along with Chuckles for you we have missed the "chuckle dance" around here but hey things are looking up for all and they will for you too sis I swear If I have to come kick nono ...............well you know whats I am gonna say so no need too right
 
You did the right thing in all of this sis no worries there
Love ya
sis
 
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/19/2006 7:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, i hate jellyfish ;) no more will i ever like em.......went to er yesturday, but at least its not the same thing i had last time, but painful enough.....im waiting to talk to a doc about an ultrasound. I dont know yet if they want to do a hysterectomy, (sp?) but, hey, better than pain, i can handle the idea of not have to have the time of the month ever again, theres gotta be some good points to this happening right?
My friend showed up yesturday, so upset with herself (as she should be) and im not sure what else i can do for her, so its still frustrating. The ER said, no work for at least 2 days, oh darn.......im going to end up taking up all my vacation time in sick pay, not fair, but what is eh? Want another shocker?? Theres been so many lately.......my 21 year old daughter , well we took a home test and it came back positive, and no official word, but yeah, we are pregnant. grandma at an early age........but, its a baby, cant be a bad thing. Shes just scared stiff, and already sick of morning sickness, that in our cases, last all day :( lalalalala
can i run away now? j/k hugs hugs hugs
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/19/2006 8:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Wed, if i keep thinking baby thoughts, ill forget all the other bs for a bit eh?? ;) im scared for her.....she cant keep anything down.
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


paniccu
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1009
   Posted 10/19/2006 2:14 PM (GMT -7)   
I never actually threw up, but I felt like I was going to for the first 4 months. i used to eat animal crackers and ginger snaps.

shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/19/2006 3:57 PM (GMT -7)   
just a short update, i so sleepy and depressed :( i called the er, the ultrasound says there is a cyst on my ovaries......i have to find a ob/gyn within the next few days they said, yeah, right......i skeered. Thank you for the advice, ill have to take her asap also, she cant even hold down 7up right now. I will be back soon, im just trying to keep myself together ;)
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/20/2006 12:56 PM (GMT -7)   
well, went to doc for my daughter, they gave her some phenegan suppositories for the "morning sickness" i hope it helps, she scares me, and i scare myself. I dont know how long it will take to get to an ob/gyn, but i hope this thing doesnt grow to fast....its on the left ovary, a few inches under the spot where i had the worst diverticulitis. Im soooooooooo scared, please tell me that all cysts arent bad.....i can do nothing but worry the past few days.....im sorry ihavent been more help. I promise to do better. I hope you all are doing ok.....hugs
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/21/2006 12:17 PM (GMT -7)   
ummmm wow, no response whatsoever, i guess ill stick to helping others...........but im scared, anybody???? please???? :(
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


JKRsGirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 10/21/2006 1:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey shell,
Cysts are common and nothing to make yourself anxious over. Let me guess, easier said than done, right? We're all with you. The cyst isn't going to grow too fast. You'll get to a GYN in time. I will be sending prayers your way to get your whole family through these times. Please let us know how it goes/went. ((Shell)) Remember, you've been strong before when you needed to, so you can do it again!
Life's a journey, not a destination ~ Aerosmith
A good friend is one who thinks you're a good egg even though you're half-cracked.


shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/21/2006 8:08 PM (GMT -7)   

thank you so much JKRsgirl, i needed that, i know that it could be nothing, but i still scared to death, alot of female problems on both sides of the family, and yeah, panic doesnt help, but ill live eh? sad   Im really just scared, ill get over it, not used to so much hospitals.....makes me nuts lol. Like im not nuts already....

Im sorry, ive had comp troubles, i had to reinstall windows, and lost alot of things i needed :( but had no choice, but im back, i hope.  THank you again JKRsgirl, and thank you for your prayers, i need them at this moment.  I also had a huge fight with daughter and cant seem to do anything but cry the past few days. Im so tired all the time, theres never enough time for a good sleep. I hope all are ok and take care.......hugs

shell


" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


JKRsGirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 10/21/2006 8:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey shell,

All we can do is pray and have support for our HW friends. We can't prescribe medication or make the hurt go away.

I know some days (for me anyway) feel like they last forever. If my anxiety is high, JKR will usually find me sitting down on the floor leaning on the back of the couch and staring out the patio door into the woods. It's kind of like my safe space. He used to think that he needed to help me, but soon he's come to realize that this is the place I go to relax and sort out what I'm going through. I find peace in nature, but I'm often to afraid to even step outside and enjoy it more so I do the next best thing. Now, he knows that the only time he has to worry about me in my "safe space" is when I fall asleep there.

These forums are like my safe space. I know that no matter what I say, I won't be judged, ridiculed or misled. I know you've been here longer than I, but maybe I could offer you some advice. Come here and let it all out. We'll cry together, laugh together, play trivia together and even hold each other up when needed.

I hope you're a little (or rather a lot) better than before. My list of people that I ask God to bless gets longer and longer each day, so praying for your well-being is the least I could do. Take care, shell. We're all pulling for you.
Life's a journey, not a destination ~ Aerosmith
A good friend is one who thinks you're a good egg even though you're half-cracked.

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