How to tell my boss

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BadGutGirl
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2004
Total Posts : 187
   Posted 10/22/2006 1:00 PM (GMT -7)   
 
Hi everyone,
 
I've been struggling with moderate agoraphobia, but for the most part it hasn't really affected my work (as far as my boss is concerned!).  However, in the mornings I have a heck of a time getting to work, and it usually takes me at least 3-4 tries before I can truely leave the house.  I also get really stressed out/paniky when we are going into meetings etc. 
 
For the next couple of months I am supposed to be traveling quite a bit and facilitating training groups.  Generally I love this kind of stuff, but I'm just really not too sure how I am going to cope with it.  I'm still new in my job and on probation. 
 
How do I approach my boss to tell her about my concerns without making her think she's made a wrong choice in hiring me????

------------------
Diagnosed with UC in 1996, symptoms since 1990
Dignosed with Depression - Jan 17th, take SAM-e and fish oil + therapy
Currently in a UC flare since spring 2003 (on and off, but always there)
Salofalk Sup per day, + fiber & aloe;
New city & new job as of 2 months ago!!
But still trying to watch my diet and stress levels


shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/22/2006 1:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Awww badgut, that is hard. I do remember telling my boss during my interview about my panic attacks, just so if i ran out of the building, they wouldnt call the state hospital on me ;) im so sorry, and i wish i could have a really easy way, but try to be honest, without telling to much. But, im sorry, you will really have to say something before you start traveling and such. Surely by now you have already proven you are good at what you do, im sure she wont regret hiring you. I wish you the best of luck, my thoughts will be with you. Please let us know how it goes.......
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 10/22/2006 5:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Gosh, that's a tough one.  I've never told any of my bosses about having anxiety so I'm probably not much of a useful source.  I would take Michelle's advice, if you're already doing well in your job they should be really understanding and hopefully work out a way to make things easier for you.  If they have massive problem with it then they are probably not the sort of people you want to work for in the long run.  This probably doesn't make it any easier, but it's food for thought.  Wouldn't it just be so nice if people could see anxiety as a medical condition like diabetes? It's not like we do this for fun is it? Best of luck and keep us posted.

Dance like no-one's watching
NervyMeg


tangerine bear
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 941
   Posted 10/22/2006 6:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi BGG,

I am covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act, which allows me to miss work or be late because of my medical conditions. If you are in the U.S., it is really not legal for them to discriminate against you because of an illness. You will basically need to get some documentation from your doctors and turn it in to human resources (I think there is a form for you to fill out). I think that regardless of the size of the company or your job description, they have to make "reasonable" accomodations for your illness. That has saved me from MANY probation situations, and could be the solution to your problems... I'm not saying they CAN'T fire you, but let them know your situation... I doubt that they want any legal issues.... Hey, it's worth a shot! Good luck, and remember, YOU CAN DO IT!!!! Take care and (((Hugs))),

Bear
"It's a jungle out there....." 
Theme song from "Monk" by Randy Newman
 
"Turn this car around... I'm goin' back..."
Tom Petty
 
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BadGutGirl
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2004
Total Posts : 187
   Posted 10/23/2006 8:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks you three.

Bear, I actually work in human resources.. ha ha ha. I'm in Canada, and it is 'sort of' considered discrimination here too - its not a protected group but you could make for a really good court case on it! However I'm more concerned about just biasing her view on me. Over the weekend I was determined that I needed to tell her. Today, I'm not so sure.

I might just wait this one out and see what comes up.

cheers
BGG

------------------
Diagnosed with UC in 1996, symptoms since 1990
Dignosed with Depression - Jan 17th, take SAM-e and fish oil + therapy
Currently in a UC flare since spring 2003 (on and off, but always there)
Salofalk Sup per day, + fiber & aloe;
New city & new job as of 2 months ago!!
But still trying to watch my diet and stress levels


shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/23/2006 8:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there BGG ive been wondering about you. I dont blame you.....but i am scared for you, i hope it all works out well, and maybe no one will know......kudos to you and the best of luck!! HUGS nad CHEERS
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


JKRsGirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 10/23/2006 2:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi BGG,
I also work in Human Resources, but in the US. (I can't help but find the irony in that.) My suggestion would be to be up front and honest with your boss when you do decide to tell her. Let her ask questions about it. In my opinion, it would be better for her to know what your dealing with than to see you have some sort of panic attack and not know what's going on. Tell her in a matter-of-fact, I'm doing all I can to conquer it kind of way. My boss understands that I'm going to be late sometimes because the mornings are difficult for me. I make up for it by staying later than I need to and always volunteering to help out whenever I can. I'm certainly not saying that you need to overcompensate for having agoraphobia, but she might be more leniant (sp?) if she understands what you're going through. Maybe you won't have to tell her at all, but the time may come when you'll have to. I think you'l know in your heart when the time is right.
Life's a journey, not a destination ~ Aerosmith
A good friend is one who thinks you're a good egg even though you're half-cracked.


libbyf
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 10/23/2006 4:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow this is a tough one.  I hate letting anyone know about my anxiety because a lot of people think that means I'm crazy.   I'm just as crazy as the next guy but this is a disease that doesn't get much sympathy unless you have personnally experienced it.  I think you should let your boss know your "nervous" about traveling but not go into your anxiety too much.  Either way I hope the best for you.
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