My brother makes me so mad

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Bethers36
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 152
   Posted 10/22/2006 6:44 PM (GMT -7)   
He told me tonite that I am using Zoloft as a bandaid for the real reason I have depression and that I am killing my liver and that he doesn't believe in chemical inbalance. I swear he needs meds he has constant mood swings he drives me nuts. He doesn't realize the state I would be in if I didn't have my meds. So far my weekend was good no real bad episodes of depression from the xanax withdrawal. I think I may be near the end of the withdrawal. I hope.
 
Hugs!

JKRsGirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 10/22/2006 6:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Bethers,
Glad to hear that you're on your way to the end of WD. That's great news. As for your brother, it sounds to me like he's in denial of his own issues. Don't let him get to you. You have to be the bigger one here.
Life's a journey, not a destination ~ Aerosmith
A good friend is one who thinks you're a good egg even though you're half-cracked.


hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 10/22/2006 7:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Bethers, it hurts when our pain/illness is minimized. Your Brother is likely angry towards this because it hits so close to home and he does not want to deal with his issues. That's been my experience sometimes. Regardless of his reasons, you must take care of YOU -- nobody else is gong to do it. I'm curious why you had to go off of the xanax. My PCP and Psyche doc will not prescribe me xanax anymore either. What's going on with that? I hope you feel better.
Talk2Kel 
DX: chronic migraine, cervical degeneration, depression/anxiety 
RX: Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Soma, Immitrex 
"You don't find out that God is all you've got until God is all you've got."


Shebig
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 10/22/2006 7:30 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Bethers

I'm glad your almost out of the woods with WD. Maybe your brother is having a hard time dealing with the fact that his sister is ill, and in turn is taking it out on you, do you think this might be his problem. If not, you need to take care of yourself, and tell him to deal. Don't let him upset how far you have come. I think your doing great.

Hugs Judy smurf


What dosen't kill me, will only make me stronger.


jordaNZone
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 10/22/2006 10:31 PM (GMT -7)   

Grrrrr  'brothers' - mine reacted the same way when it came to me being ill and seeking medication...I don't have any answers - but I do understand. All will settle down soon - you will see..just relax and keep up the good work!

Maree


shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/23/2006 8:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Dont listen to him bethers, we know better ;) its not worth it to listen and get yourself to feeling even worse, smile and tell him, im gonna feel better than you do!
hugs
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


Bethers36
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 152
   Posted 10/23/2006 8:15 AM (GMT -7)   
I know I totally agree with all of you. I wouldn't be here today without the help of my anti-depresssent it has saved my life. He has many mood swings and I swear he needs meds. He even as far as to tell me not to try for another baby in 2-3 yrs since I had bad medical care for the last one and they had to take it and then for the one before in Nov 2004 I had intestional blockage and lost that one as they had to take it. I have found an expert in my sickness of vomitting I get who can get me through it and I know I can do it I had my son. He told me he won't support me or condone it. And he told me no one can help me they are only out for the money. I will be dealing with top specialists in the state and the best hosptial. Also, I am 36 whose decision is this anyways. Just because he can't have kids. It was real nice lecture you guys and then I got the lecture on my Zoloft. It topped my night last night I tell ya. I mean I just took him back in my life a couple of years ago after not speaking to him for many years and many people telling me not to take him back and htis is the support I get. Ugh! Thanks to you guys for all your love and support. Many many many hugs!~ Bethers

seechell
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 10/23/2006 10:23 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Bethers-

I haven't read all the others comments yet. I had to respond NOW. This makes me so angry. Your brother sounds just like my ex-husband! He would tell me the EXACT same thing. He said that people don't need to have these drugs, that it's mind over matter, that I was weak. He would tell me to just "get over it". His mother also had some similar problems and he would refuse to talk to her or visit for extended periods of time. I would get so angry. Who do these people think they are? I really don't understand. Until you walk a mile in my shoes keep your mouth shut. It is a proven fact that these things we all go through are real. They are chemical imbalances. I'm going to school in the medical field and I know this to be true. It's scientific fact. If others choose to ignore this, that's their problem, not ours.

I'm done being on my soap box. Sorry. I really and truely hope that your brother will do some research and come around, for your sake as well as for his. You need each other. Family is supposed to be a support system. Family is important, one of the most important things here on this earth.

As for my ex-husband, this is a part of the reason he's now my ex. May he rot in h***.


Take Care,
               Chelle
    "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
  DX: ankylosing spondylitis, periferal neuropathy, chronic migraines/headaches, depression/panic attacks, probable Bi-Polar, hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, orthostatic hypotension, sleep apnea
  RX: synthroid, estradiol, cymbalta, xanax, proamatine, inderal la, neurontin, torfanil pm, celebrex, sonata, aspirin, relpax, phenergan, esgic plus
  Surgeries: hysterectomy 1997, tonsillectomy 2001, deviated septum 2005, cataracts (both eyes) 2006
 
 


Bethers36
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 152
   Posted 10/23/2006 10:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Chelle. I know it really is the pits when you have no support from your own family member. :(

Hugs.
Bethers

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/23/2006 11:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Just know you are not alone here we all do understand and know what some ppl may think but we do all know better right
You take care and STAY STRONG
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   


Bethers36
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 152
   Posted 10/23/2006 12:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Lyn I forgot to add my brother told me I get off on this. Meaning by wanting to get pregnant and then with my meds too that I like drama. Nice.

libbyf
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 10/23/2006 4:17 PM (GMT -7)   
I hate when people say its all in your head!  If you were a diabetic would he give you crap about the dependancy on insulin.  Five years ago I was considering killing myself even though I had everything to live for.  Only my religious beliefs kept me from trying but I was totally obsessed with what I was feeling.  Was put on Zoloft and within 2wks started to feel better and within a month was back in my life again.  Tried to give up the Zoloft recently and started to feel crappy again so called doctor and said I would like to stay on it.  I'm on a low dose and it helps me live my life and enjoy my husband and kids, so I really don't care what anyone else says.  As far as your choises for getting pregnant, THAT CHOICE IS YOUR'S AND YOUR PARTNER'S ONLY!!!!   I wish you luck on all fronts and keep your chin up. 

Bethers36
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 152
   Posted 10/23/2006 5:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks you guys I can't thank you enough for all the love and support you have given me. It's not easy when your family member doesn't support you. I am feeling so much better each day from the xanax and then to be put down and then be told I enjoy drama by wanting to get pregnant again knowing I will get sick with my disease.

jordaNZone
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 10/23/2006 7:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Glad you are feeling a little better each day from taking xanax, but don't forget to give yourself credit too - most of the hard work and courage is done by you..it takes a lot of energy and soul searching to be well again.
Pays to develop 'selective hearing' when it comes to negative things others say! If you know you are feeling better and coping with life..then you are doing a good job.
Well done!

Maree

Bethers36
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 152
   Posted 10/24/2006 3:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Maree. It makes me so mad that a member of my own family would think I like drama. Meaning I liked losing my babies and being sick and I liked going through all that I have with my depression. It really disgusts me. How I know comments are wrong is when you know you would never say that to someone as you know how it made you feel. It hurt me what he said. Thanks for your support.

JKRsGirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 10/24/2006 6:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Bethers,

I think that two trains of thought are present here.

The first one is people who don't have anxiety, don't understand anxiety and are unwilling to believe that we can't just "snap out of it". They tend to think that A/P people are just hungry for attention. Like none of us were hugged enough as children or something. I have met many people like this. I have mentioned to a few people that my future FIL falls into this catagory. Every time I have a PA, he thinks I just want attention. I think unless he can physically see that something is wrong (like I'm wearing a cast or something) he will continue to believe that I make this stuff up in my head.

The second is people who are suffering from anxiety, depression, etc., but don't want to admit it. By admitting to us that they have a problem, some people (I think men tend to more often fall into this catagory) see that as a sign of weakness. I think society makes it very difficult for men to come to terms with having anxiety, depression, etc. It's a strong man (or woman) who can see that they have a problem and get help.

I think your brother falls into one of these catagories. I am by no means saying that these are the only types of people in the world. I'm just saying that your brother may fit in somewhere within these catagories.

I try to surround myself with people who manage to lift me up when I'm feeling down. That's one reason why I come here to HW. Try to find those people in your life and stay with them. If your brother is going to bring you down and hinder any progress that you are making, you will only find yourself resenting him later.
Life's a journey, not a destination ~ Aerosmith
A good friend is one who thinks you're a good egg even though you're half-cracked.


Bethers36
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 152
   Posted 10/24/2006 7:32 AM (GMT -7)   
I totally agree with you hon. Thank you for some good points.

shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/24/2006 9:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Great advice and input, I hope your brother gets the help it sounds like he needs. Keep your head up. I have to say, kudos to seechell, i know how ya feel ;)
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


Bethers36
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 152
   Posted 10/24/2006 11:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone. How would i have gotten through this without 3. Day 4 of no Xanax Withdrawals!!!! yayayayayayayay

Bethers36
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 152
   Posted 10/24/2006 7:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Another day of feeling really good no xanax withdrawals!! Yay

shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 10/25/2006 10:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Good for you bethers, im proud of you so!!! Im glad you are doin so well. Keep it up and keep us posted ;) we love to hear good things like this hugs
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


Bethers36
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 152
   Posted 10/25/2006 10:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Shell

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 10/25/2006 11:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Bethers,
Way to go and you most definitely are not alone. I have 3 brothers and they are all condemn me. Well I live 1,200 miles away from them and couldn't care less about any of them after the way they were to me this summer and growing up. I never want to see them again and I do mean that. I was used as the punching bag while growing up with them, they've not change except that they use me as punching bag psychologically. I don't know what really to tell you since you have to see your brother everyday except that I hope you can stay strong and don't let him bring you down Get involved in some activites that can take you out for awhile.
You've come a long way to getting better.
I wish you good luck and a happy life.
Hugs
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