Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 10/25/2006 12:50:03 PM (GMT-6)
As I read your post two thoughts and a suggestion came to mind:
1. Perhaps the stress of keeping your secret is partly to blame for how bad your anxiety is. I know that before I told people close to me the fear of them finding out was causing me greater stress.
2. In my experience every time I assume that my friends are too busy with their own lives to bother with me, I am completely wrong. They understand how much we need each other. Let them be there for you. Someday it will be your turn to be there for them.
Suggestion - If you are in college you must be located somewhere near a medical center. Check and see if that medical center has a support group for people with anxiety. If they do, and you go to it, it will give you a ready made group of people who understand what you are going through. We here all understand but sometimes you just need to hear an understanding voice out loud.
PupLove - I am really proud of you for reaching out and getting help. You may feel like you can't handle what is going on right now but you already are handling it by being here and seeing your doctor. So what if you, or any of us lose control and bawl our eyes out and so what if we have good days and bad days. The entire world needs to have a good cry everyonce in a while and the entire world has good days and bad days, just like we do. I always look at forgiveness as a key to getting started. Forgiveness isn't about the person who wronged you, it is about you. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you approve of what happened. It simply means that you will no longer let it control you and you will no longer let that kind of anger be in charge of you. Maybe you could begin by forgiving yourself a little bit at a time. You are strong and you are smart and you are going to get better.
Georgia5 - I respectfully disagree about the boyfriend. Perhaps leaving her at the time that he did was poor timing but he does have a right to take care of himself and what he needs. All of us understand the unique kind of pressure that dealing with anxiety can put on our loved ones. Hopefully those loved ones will be able to stand by us but if they can't I think it is better to know that and be able to face what we have to face with honesty.