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smiler
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 657
   Posted 11/11/2006 12:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Is there a way I can deal with my paranoia as it seems to be getting worse confused
 
I'm OK with the hypochondria , I can deal with that - It's the other stuff that truely scares me.
 
It's like the angel on one shoulder yeah and the devil on the other devil
I can be sitting with close family whom I love and the next minute my mind is twisting a nice situation into something bitter and horrifying. It will tell me that they don't like me (and all that "you're worthless" stuff) and can make me think things like , they are going to go out of the room and come back with a knife and kill me , so I have this battle - I'm the angel telling me that it's not true and it's OK , but the devil is relentless and so I can't open up round people.
I even think that my BF against me sometimes - even though I nkow that's not true (it might be because my ex was bad that I have these thoughts).
 
I also 'see' people in my house when my BF is not with me and think they're going to get me , which makes me really jumpy.
And I 'see' things crawling across the floor even whe BF is there and I have to look straight away to see if they're real or not.
 
If I have to go to bed before my BF gets home I have to turn on the lamp before I can turn off the light and then I have to take a jump onto the bed so that no-one grabs my ankles - which is what I used to do when I was little (I am now 27 and have a divan bed so no-one could even fit under it LOL!).
There are so many other things but I will leave it at that for now.
 
I also think I'm mad sometimes - I don't know whether it's because there is so much else going on in my head that I can't concentrate or what. I told my daughter she shouldn't put her toothbrush in the car , I meant the bath! I've tried to put food in the drier , washing in the freezer , I tried to line the oven with bin bag , I have opened a cassette case expecting to hear the music on the tape without putting it in the player.
I also have bouts of stuttering , and cannot read/spell properly when my head is really fuzzy.
 
yeah   yeah yeah tongue I'm doing the loopy dance tongue   yeah yeah yeah

Twiggygal
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 924
   Posted 11/11/2006 2:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Yep I think the same things. I try to not think about people thinking badly about me, but if I'm at the office, I think...

"well my boss thinks I'm doing a good job, he just said so."

But then the devil on my other shoulder says, "he wants to fire you, he really doesn't like you and talks behind your back."

And then I just push those negative thoughts further back into my mind, and ignore them.

Because those negative thoughts are lies! (learned that from the CBT hehe)

But it's still hard to disconnect yourself from the bad thoughts, I mean really, I always think ppl are talking badly about me.

*HUGGGGGGGS*

Just breathe and realize that it isn't true, and you're not mad, as I'm sure many people have the same problem.

Twiggygal~
"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."

DX: Panic Disorder, Depression, TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Disorder), Chronic Migraines
 
RX: Ativan/Lorazapam (1 MG a day), Lexapro (15 MG a day), Tylonel for the TMJ and Migraines
 



Madasincrazy
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 116
   Posted 11/12/2006 12:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Yeah negitive thoughts.........i do silly things like put coths in the freezer all the time, i don't think it's crazy, more like preocupied, most likely b/c we are worrying our asses off lol. just tonight i have been thinking the worst and cannot sleep. Do you sleep well at night?

CRANKY 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 11/12/2006 2:01 AM (GMT -7)   

TWIGGYGAL -

We have all the same problems, which is pretty freaky, except I have a bad back and bad knees too.  I find it interesting though, that we aren't on any of the same meds.  I've been through them all.

SMILER -

That amount of paranoia is not healthy to try to live with, especially if you have a child depending on you.  I sincerely suggest you inform whoever you see for medication that you are having these experiences.  My cousin is bipolar, and without his lithium, he has these kind of thoughts, and eventually talks himself out of taking his meds

an*** -

It's 3:30am, so no, I don't sleep well at night.  Or during the day.  I'm basically just miserable between the occasional long nap.  At least my cats love me.  OH GOD!!!  I've become the crazy old cat lady!!! tongue tongue tongue

HOPE EVERYBODY FEELS BETTER!!!

Leigh Ann cool


"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
                                             - Jimmy Buffett


smiler
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 657
   Posted 11/12/2006 3:28 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Twiggy I have the CBT link you posted and will be starting soon - read the intro ,sounds like it will really help me :-)

Cranky - I know it's not healthy eyes   waiting for the letter to tell me when my counselling etc...starts and they can find out what meds I need (if any?) I have BP aswell which wouldn't help much.

I go through phases of not sleeping well but not too worried as such.

Take care everyone

Smiler tongue


MsKittie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 789
   Posted 11/12/2006 9:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello smiler
 
Honey hang in there at least you know there is a problem and your working on it. Hopefull the dr's will get you on the right meds to help you with this and I'm happy to hear your getting such great support from you bf. You are in my prayers and thoughts please keep us posted.
 
(((HUGS)))
   MsKittie
 
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
I have an illness, My illness don't have me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/13/2006 3:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Smiler I think you are making great strides and doing the things you need to get the help you so desperstly want
I have no clue how many times I have forgot or put things in wrong place I just laugh it off as senility now lol
Those negative thoghts I was starting too really listen to them then just last night gace myself a dang good yakking to and told them where to go
Back to self so far this morning
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
         Don't Comprimise Yourself :you are all you have    
 Never Give up on Yourself ,Your True friends nor your Dignity
   

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