Well I needed to take some Xanax tonight for the first time, I didn't really like it compared to valium but then when I was on valium it wasn't working as my main med wasn't at the correct level.
I don't know if it was because I was crashing badly or due to the Xanax but as an OCD sufferer I started getting really bad obsessional thoughts that wouldn't leave for hours, they're still hanging around at the back of my mind. I find I can't use rational talk or anything. These thoughts are so scary (typical anxiety when one thing doesn't work it jumps on to another till it gets a result from you).
I see my pdoc tomorrow, I'm going to check on my doses of meds she's got me on. I don't know if she needs to increase them or maybe there's something else behind it.
I looked back at my notes (more like the ramblings of someone losing it) and one thing I found recently was (for the girls) a week before I'm due I crash really bad, last month I went to hospital and then at the start (a week later) I get bad again for a couple of days. Maybe my hormones are stuffing me around a lot more then the usual pms.
One thing the Xanax is getting me real sleepy now and I only took half a tablet, hopefully a goods night sleep and this last crash will be over.
Thanks for listening and I'll let you all know what the pdoc says tomorrow. (I'm starting to panic about
getting there already
, ARGHH in less then a day I've gone from a confident happy person to an obsessional anxious mess again).