Okay, I'm trying to do CBT online. It's hard to come up with 3 things/events that have happened in the last week to put into my "workbook", cuz everyday is pretty much the same! I want to do it right, cuz I need and want help. Thoughts race thru my mind and I can't seem to turn them off...negative thoughts, the ones I'm supposed to be trying to change...I think about the anxiety all day, even though I try not to. It's like a chain around my neck.
I am still having persistent anxiety each day. It usually gets better later in the day, but yesterday it was not that way. I keep on doing everything I have to do, whether I feel like it or not. I thought that facing our fears was part of getting better? Sigh.
I continue to sweat a lot. Dunno if it's hormones or paxil side effects. I've been on paxil cr 50mg for a tad over a week now. Oh PLEASE let it help! Siiiiiiiiiigh.
The stress and tension of fighting this every single day is making me so very very tired! I feel like crawling in a hole and crying. But it does no good.
I go back to pdoc on 12/26. By then, I guess it will have been long enough to know what, if anything, the paxil will do. I haven't taken any xanax, as it seems that I'd have to take it everyday to do any good and the doc won't go for that AND it would supposedly stop helping cuz I'd be tolerant to it after a while.
As you can see, I'm a mess...and I apologize to everyone that I haven't been an encouragement to others here lately. I feel like it's taking all I can do to keep my own head above water right now, but it's not cuz I don't care.
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.