emotions and moods all over the place.....

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seechell
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 12/11/2006 6:24 PM (GMT -7)   
One day I feel good, the next day I feel lost and confused. It can even vary from hour to hour. My husband is worried about me given my history these past 6 weeks. How can I reassure him that I'm ok, even when I'm down and that it's normal for me to feel this way. It doesn't mean I'll do something drastic. He wants me to talk to him and I'm trying. He makes it hard when I see the pain on his face. He's going back to work tomorrow and I know he's stressing beyond words. He's afraid to leave me alone. He has good reason. I haven't been very trustworthy for the last 6 weeks or so. I guess I can only prove it to him by staying safe, whether I'm depressed or anxious. We have a safety plan in place with phone numbers and alternative places for me to go, such as hang with my parents until he gets home.
 
He wants me to get out of the house more often and go walking or something. I'm usually in my pj's by 4pm. I'm most comfy and secure in my jammies. I promised him I'd try. I have an appointment with my couselor and I have to go up to school for some things, so tomorrow I'll be busy for awhile. I'm going to take a swimming class next semester and become more active. I'm trying to decide whether I'm ready to carry a full load (13 hrs), or drop one class and have 9 hrs instead. I'm kinda thinking that the best thing is to drop the one class. I don't want to overwhelm myself. Does anyone have any suggestions? I really need some help. I'm scared of failing and overdoing it while I'm still emotionally fragile.
 
I'm still coming to terms with my bipolar too and the adjustment of my meds for the third time in 6 weeks. In other words, the last 6 weeks have been hell for me and for my husband.
 
Thanks for any words of wisdom.
Take Care,
               Chelle
    "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
  DX: ankylosing spondylitis, periferal neuropathy, chronic migraines/headaches, depression/panic attacks, bi-polar, hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, sleep apnea
  RX: synthroid, estradiol, cymbalta, prozac, geodon, lamictal, inderal la, klonopin, seroquel, imiprimine, aspirin, (relpax, phenergan, esgic plus, xanax, PRN for migraine)
  Surgeries: hysterectomy 1997, tonsillectomy 2001, deviated septum 2005, cataracts (both eyes) 2006
 
 


GFK
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 275
   Posted 12/11/2006 6:47 PM (GMT -7)   
I truly believe "better safe than sorry". Why push yourself? From your post it doesnt sound like you have to jump back in with both feet just yet.... If it were me, I'd take the lighter load and avoid over-stressing for now. You've been thru alot...

Take care!
Karen

hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 12/11/2006 8:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Chelle, I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  I can relate to the med changes.  Do you at least have a good psychiatrist?  Mine has led me astray.  Med changes and I'm no better off than when we started.  Do you take meds for bi-polar?  I'm glad that you have a plan and a supportive husband.  I am without a hubby and my family avoids emotions like the plague.  I'm afraid to show people my depression and have learned the hard way that most people (including family) are just fair-weathered friends.  As to you load, why not just do things that make you feel good?  Make a list.  Do you have a pet?  After my divorce, I just went to the dog park for an hour everyday and for that time I felt better.  Try not to sign up for too many things that require a committment b/c you might just end up beating yourself up for not being able to meet your and their expectations.  Keep posting.  We are here for you.  God bless.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/12/2006 4:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi hun
Sorry you have all this on your plate
I had to drop some courses in UNI yrs ago I was taking physics, chemistry, physchology, pre calculus and writing and another I forgot
It got way to overwhelming and I cried so much for the first month dragging self to classes
Finally I did drop a couple and picked up next time .I had gone back as a Mature student .....there is no shame in having to do this
I beliece Karen has some great inout as does Hopeful
You are very vulnerable now and need to keep self on an even keel ya know
If ya need to talk come here or message me or someone you know on here
Might be a good idea to hang with parents just for a bit
I am keeping you in thought and prayers hun
Luvs
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 One thing I know for sure is we have each other and in times of need no one could be better off IMO
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
        Lyn
 


Esther2006
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 12/12/2006 5:16 AM (GMT -7)   
hi,

I dont know much but I do know its never good to push yourself to limits and also to keep the communication between you and your husband open. Sometimes it really helps to talk or just to write it off. I do that quite a lot of times. I use to push myself constantly and set myself goals I knew deep down were not realistic.
Sometimes its just hard enough to breath let alone set targets that might make it even more difficult.

I really hope you feel better soon and just think...this too will pass...just hang in there !!

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/12/2006 5:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Welcome Esther and thanks for your input
Hope to see you around often
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 One thing I know for sure is we have each other and in times of need no one could be better off IMO
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
        Lyn
 


shell67
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 12/12/2006 9:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi chelle, i too am very moody and can change at the drop of a hat...its very annoying and can be hard on everyone, i wish you the best. Welcome smorzik, you have great input and i hope you stay and keep posting ;) Thank you
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


seechell
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 12/12/2006 11:54 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks for all your help everyone. I knew I'd get some good advise.

Smorzik-I have bipolar, anxiety/panic attacks and depression. I got it coming from all sides! LOL! But what do you do? Take it all in stride I guess.

I've made a decision with regards to classes. First, I dropped an upper division class that was 4 hrs. I don't need it for my major. Then I'm taking an intro to art class. I can't draw AT ALL. Just stick people and a fuzzy monster thing. But when I was in the hospital both times they had an art therapy class and I loved it. We colored with chalks, oils, watercolors etc. and just let go on the paper. It was very cathartic and I've since bought some art supplies of my own to do at home. So I thought that would be a relaxing, flowing class. You don't have to know how to draw and I can still get an A. Yeah! I'm taking a swimming class too. I love the water. That will get me some exercise and be fun too. So all total I have 11 hrs. Only one class is going to be hard, MATH! Yuck.

So now that I'm feeling a bit better with my decision I'm in a much better place today. I'm actually upbeat and more positive, which is a big thing for me. I haven't had a manic episode for about a week, which is odd too. It's been very depressive as of late. Maybe things are going to be brighter now that I feel better. I hope things stay this way. Wish me luck!


Take Care,
               Chelle
    "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
  DX: ankylosing spondylitis, periferal neuropathy, chronic migraines/headaches, depression/panic attacks, bi-polar, hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, sleep apnea
  RX: synthroid, estradiol, cymbalta, prozac, geodon, lamictal, inderal la, klonopin, seroquel, imiprimine, aspirin, (relpax, phenergan, esgic plus, xanax, PRN for migraine)
  Surgeries: hysterectomy 1997, tonsillectomy 2001, deviated septum 2005, cataracts (both eyes) 2006
 
 


hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 12/12/2006 1:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Chelle - so proud of you!

Smorzik - Welcome to HealingWell and thank you for your input. Very important that we consider more than just meds and therapy in our recovery.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 12/12/2006 10:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Chelle,
You got a kind heart and you love your hubby! No matter how bad or down you may get, ALWAYS remember that you must fight "wrong urges" for him, if you won't for yourself. That has always been a motivator for me...when I think certain thoughts, then I think of my mom and friends and realize that others count on me, even if I sometimes want to write myself off. Lately, everyday has been hard, but I keep pulling thru, ONE DAY AT A TIME! :) Sometimes it's one minute at a time. You have to find what's right for you. I think you are wise to not overload yourself right now. Keep up the good work and remember how many folks are rooting for you and with you!
LOVE YA!!
janet
PS- Smorzik,
Welcome and keep up the good advice!
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.
janet


dolppl
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 12/22/2006 4:54 PM (GMT -7)   
smorzik,
 
You have a lot of good information, how did you find all this out?
I am trying and succeeding in kicking my depression/anxiety without medication, but it is very hard.  I know I do not eat right and get enough exercise and I have no excuse for it other than my laziness, but most of the symptoms you talked about apply to me.  Please comment more on this and what you recommend for a diet.  If there are foods to stay from and such...
Thanks

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/24/2006 12:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Merry Christmas and Welcome

Chelle I sure hope you are a bit better
Luvs ta ya
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......You can Do It........We are Here For You 
 Happy Holidays and all the Best in 2007 .........
               God Bless .........Lyn


hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 12/24/2006 3:00 PM (GMT -7)   
smorzik, I've been inspired by your posts. I wish you could come over and show me some easy to make, healthy meals to make. I know that I have hypoglycemia and the docs never suggested that being the reason for my depression (probably just one of the reasons). However, the people closest to me knew before I knew. I'm constantly nagged to always have some kind of food or bar in my purse. I also get migraines so skipping a meal or going to long before food is a no-no. How does one go from being so depressed they can't cook dinner b/c they are barely functioning to eating like a Saint? Seriously, I'd like some tips.

Chelle, how are you feeling?
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


nolaman
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 12/26/2006 1:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Not hypoglycemic so I don't know how it relates to my posting? I thank you for the prompt reply though.
 
 ** sorry I dont see a post in this thread from you I dont think I missed it *
If so I apologise
Lyn

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 12/26/2006 5:10:17 PM (GMT-7)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/26/2006 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Healthy eating is essential
I do the same or did HM I would go days w/o eating no longer PLUS I have crohns so I need to watch food intake..I now eat healthy and do for Howies sake as well he is non insulin dep diabetic
great input
Take care all
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......You can Do It........We are Here For You 
 Happy Holidays and all the Best in 2007 .........
               God Bless .........Lyn
 
          All The Best In 2007 To Everyone 
                                  
                          
                                   Lyn


hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 12/26/2006 7:08 PM (GMT -7)   
smorkiz, thank you. It sounds like good old fashioned home-made meals.  I am coming out of (I hope) severe debilitating depression.  I can cook the chicken and fish, rice & pasta.  What would be an easy breakfast and what would be an easy lunch?  Is cereal okay?  Is lunch meat okay?  I think I can go from here but if you have any other suggestions.  I am also a migrainer so their are many food triggers that I have to beware of.  I just never got the hang of sitting down to a healthy meal "for one."  Unfortunately, I'll eat a one-item meal like cereal or I'll go out a lot and get chicken teriyaki (I can't afford to this as I am unemployed).  I'm often at a loss as to what to buy at the grocery store.  When I am depressed, I lose myself, feel like a different person.  Just want to go to sleep and not wake up.  I know I have to keep trying b/c I cannot leave Mom and doggie and friends behind.  That would be cruel but my life is a train wreck right now.  What kind of fruit substitute is good?  I don't like apples and can't citrus or passion fruits b/c of migraine triggers.  What do you usually eat for lunch?
Thanks, you are very passionate about your health and doing something about your depression. 
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 12/28/2006 8:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi smorzik, I think I hijacked someone else's post. I posted a new topic on A/P named "What do you do when you do not know what to do?" Will you please reply to me there? I really like your attitude and I'm inspired that you have been there and you pulled yourself out of it. I want to know more.

A little about me. I am a person who does NOT want to be depressed. I am into GROWTH...spiritual, personal, in all ways. I have broken a chain of abused woman but I have had some horrible influences that have scarred me and shaped my personality dysfunction to some degree. Most people would tell you that I am warm, caring and passionate. Even when I am depressed, I try to put that smile on. I look for every chance to laugh. I love to watch my dog play at the dog park.

I have to avoid migraine triggers like chocolate, dairy, alcohol, soy sauce, luncheon meat (anything with nitrates), bacon, aged cheeses, citrus fruits. This list goes on. But, the more "natural" my food is the better b/c the biggest trigger besides chocolate, alcohol and dairy is MSG.

These triggers are not the "cause" of migraines. Migraine is a disease like epilipsy. Even neruologist don't understand migraine. Your suggestions about a "regular" schedule are good for migrainers though. I need to work on that. Sometimes, I want to stay in bed or take a nap just to HIDE from the world. I have really been struggling. Wish I had the guts to end it. Something inside of me is not ready or I would have by now. It is just so painful to live right now. Not just b/c of depression but b/c of my circumstances. My circumstances are scaring me and I feel unable to process all of the emotions and feelings of loss sometimes.

Please write to me on my other post, okay? Thank you.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 1/8/2007 7:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Chelle, haven't seen you post in a while. How are you doing?

Kelly
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/9/2007 5:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Chelle please do get in touch just so we know you are okay
We are thinking about you
Luvs
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......You can Do It........We are Here For You 
                God Bless .........Lyn
Make The Best of The New year .......You Can and Will Reach your Goals
                              Loads of Love n Support
                                        Lyn   
 
 
 
                                  
                          
                                  

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