I completely understand what you are going through. I have suffered with major depression, and trying to explain it to family or friends is very hard. For some reason, people who have never had this think that all we have to do is "cheer up" or "snap out of it", which is not possible. The holidays can be even worse for people with depression than any other time of year. I hope that you will try to explain your feelings to your therapist... maybe he/she didn't fully understand how bad you are feeling. As for feeling worse when you leave therapy, I think that happens to everyone sometimes... after spending an hour pouring out your emotions. Early in my treatment, I would cry most of the session. You mentioned that you have only 2 sessions left, and I was wondering why. When I first got help for my depression, I was in a 6 week counseling program, but I knew that wasn't enough. I found another program in my community and I've been going there for almost 2 years. Please let us know how you are doing, and don't ever feel like you are bothering anyone... that is the reason for HW, to support each other. As for taking any medication, I think you should speak with your physician about that first. (((Big Hugs))) coming your way,
"It's a jungle out there....."
Theme song from "Monk" by Randy Newman
"Turn this car around... I'm goin' back..."