I think I might get fired - Help

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nervymeg
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/3/2007 8:42 PM (GMT -6)   
My boss is being really strange.  Yesterday I came in for the first day of work for the year and she didn't even say hello.  She came up about half an hour later and told me about all these things that had gone wrong and had to be changed.  Most of them nothing to do with me.  I know because of my panic/anxiety I sometimes get a bit more stressed than most people and my words all tumble out and I feel like a spazz.  But I don't think I'm THAT bad.  I made a whole lot of sales yesterday, I'm just shaky sometimes.
 
My concern is that everyone else who works here is either an old friend of the boss or a relation of the manager.  I'm the odd one out.  Today I've already had two phone calls from the manager berating me for a minor mistake I made yesterday.  I'm feeling really vulnerable and scared.  Am I being paranoid or should I look for another job? No matter where I go I will still have anxiety...sorry for the rant, I'm just really scared and feel sick to my stomach. eyes
Dance like no-one's watching,
 
Love Thy Neighbour, just don't get caught!
 
NervyMeg


2mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 1/3/2007 9:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Try not to get ahead of yourself. I think a lot of the horrible things we feel or think are going to happen almost never actually do.Your boss may have her own stuff going on that has nothing to do with you.

redshoe
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 75
   Posted 1/3/2007 10:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Miss Meg,
 
I completely, totally, absolutely understand how you feel. Having anxiety I often wonder if I'm being too sensitive to what other people are thinking or whether I'm really in tune with subtle changes. It's hard to say. Only because everyone is different and everyone has their own issues. Even Boss's have bad days.
 
I had a similar situation. I began to feel further and further disconnected from my boss, that everything I did was wrong and pretty quickly developed severe anxiety attacks everytime I had to go to work. It was extremely difficult and not a great time for me.  And while this was absolutely the hardest thing for me to do, the best thing to ease my anxiety was actually to talk to my boss about what was going on. (Not personally mind you, just in my work performance)
 
I think part of the anxiety you may be feeling is due to you not knowing what your boss's thoughts are. (if we could only be psychic!) Good or bad, either way I think you'll feel better knowing what your next step should be or if you even need to take any steps.
 
My immediate advice (and I know this is what I needed, because at one point I practically lost the ability to have independent thoughts!) is to try and take your mind off it. Listen to your favorite music, read a book, get a magazine, play with your pet, needlepoint, exersize. Whatever it is that will help you to stop thinking (even for 15 minutes). I also tried positive self-talk. Things such as "You're a good person." "You're a hard worker." "You can do this!" Try imagining yourself as your own best friend and give yourself the pep talk you need. Sometimes writing down your own mantras can help.
 
I hope this helps! Best of luck. And remember no matter what happens, these are life's lessons that make us all better, stronger people.

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/3/2007 11:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi and thanks Redshoe and 2mom.  I really needed some advice.  I know I'm bad at over-reacting and being too sensitive but I just feel like everything negative is being directed at me and I'm getting more and more panicked and paranoid.  I do know my boss is stressed so I will give it a few days to calm down and if it still keeps up, well, I might have to try and talk to hear (eech!).
 
I will try and take my mind off it and stay occupied.  I'm not too good at being my own pep quad but I will try.  Thanks again for the advice.  It's good to know I'm not the only one ((hugs))
Dance like no-one's watching,
 
Love Thy Neighbour, just don't get caught!
 
NervyMeg


CRANKY 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 1/4/2007 3:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey NervyMeg,
 
I spent several work positions constantly wondering about my position in the "office politics".  If you feel like the odd man out, or that someone has a grudge against you, you're probably right.  I'm not sure how that might impact your employment.  I got screwed a number of times. 
 
One time I was passed over for a promotion to Regional Manager because I wasn't male, not part of the "good ole boys network".  I was actually forced to train a less knowlegable man for the job I deserved to get.  Boy, was I ticked off.  The guy I trained expected me to work 24/7/365, and I ended up totally my car in an accident because I was falling asleep at the wheel.  Before I could sue the company, I had a person visit from the company VP, who told me I was actually the top manager in the company.  Information none of the "good ole boys" saw fit to tell me.  I quit with a nice severance package.
 
My last position i worked before going on disability, I got thrown into a job I was totally unqualified for, but the person hired to do the job couldn't get with the program.  I was so stressed for so long, but I hung in there because my boss supported me and knew how hard I was working and felt bad for putting me in that position.  She transferred to a new project, and my new boss didn't consider me a part of the inner circle.  I was totally left out of meetings I should have attended, and a lot of office politics were going on that I wasn't let in on.  I started buckling under the pressure, and had to take a couple of FMLA leaves after I had used up all my sick and vacation days.  She started to "get paper" on me for bogus working violations to get them in my personnel file.  She wanted to get rid of me early on, and basically ignored any communications from me.  After getting a couple of warnings in my personnel file, she fired me for a totally bogus reason.  I couldn't even sue the company for firing me, because Virginia is a totally "at will" work state.  That means you can be fired for virtually no reason with no repurcussions to the employer.
 
You really can't trust anyone in the workplace.  At one software training job, our boss was assured that a division wide realignment would not affect our department.  Two days later, at the beginning of our Christmas break party, we were informed that we weren't being fired, but our entire department was being eliminated.  We were told that we would have time after the break to find positions in other departments.  That turned out to be one day, as our termination papers were ready for us at the end of the day.
 
I will spare you anymore of my professional employment disasters.  Sorry I got so long winded.  Anyway, I guess my point is that what is going to happen, will happen.  If your boss wants you gone, there's nothing you can do that will prevent it.  Just try to carry on with your work as normal, especially since she has sought you out when she had a problem, then went on about her business. 
 
Holidays are stressful times, and maybe she's just personally stressed.  If she were going to fire you, or discipline you somehow, she most likely would have done it right before the holiday break.  That way you could clear out your things, and there would be no sign of you when everyone came back from the break.  The boss that fired me, waited until the end of the day, once my co-worker were gone, and had already stored up empty boxes so I could clear out my cubicle.  *****!  OOPs, sorry about that one.

Hang in there, tell yourself everything is normal, and keep on truckin'!!!

Leigh Ann cool


"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
                                             - Jimmy Buffett


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/4/2007 10:02 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Sweetie
I think it will all be okay
I am sorry I didnt get to you sooner been in and out of hospital have another IV in and lil one has been at my side all the way
Seriously thinking about many changes myself but time will tell and its not work
I know how you are feeling hun but try to focus on the strong you the one who is always here to support everyone when needed
I wish I could do more for you I can be here and be a soft place for you to land but thats it
I said already I think you will be okay
Maybe boss had a bad day we all get thm
See what the next few days bring k
Luvs ya
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......You can Do It........We are Here For You 
                God Bless .........Lyn
Make The Best of The New year .......You Can and Will Reach your Goals
                              Loads of Love n Support
                                        Lyn   
 
 
 
                                  
                          
                                  


CRANKY 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 1/4/2007 11:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey NervyMeg,
 
I just re-read my long post, and I realized that I sounded pretty negative.  I realize I just gave you the bad parts of some of my previous employment.  I worked increasingly stressful jobs and the tension built up over years.  I thrived at being the person people went to when there was a crisis, but the anxiety was continuously building, and would hit me much later.  My shoulder muscles were so tight, I had a huge knot at the base of my skull.  My ex-husband did added greatly to my stress and anxiety, as he was Autistic (ASPBERGER's SYNDROME) which I didn't figure out until I kicked him to the curb(he was cheating).  He changed jobs seven times in the 4 1/2 years we were married.  He couldn't understand that even if he went directly from one job to the next, we were losing a week or more of his pay.  Heck, he even changed jobs once without telling me first.  I lost my job right after 9/11, and I kicked my husband to the curb by New Years.  It took a year for my shoulder muscles to relax, once I took time off from working and my divorce was finalized.
 
It's stressful sometimes in the workplace, but a long as you know you are doing your job to the best of your ability, that's what really counts.  Jobs come and go, but you have to take care of yourself first.  No job is worth your sanity or health.
 
Have a great day!  (((BIG HUGS!!!)))
 
Leigh Ann cool

"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
                                             - Jimmy Buffett


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/4/2007 6:02 PM (GMT -6)   

Thanks Leigh Ann and Lyn ((hugs)) it's just so nice to hear from people who understand.  Today my work day has started badly again.  I get in and on my desk is a list of tasks I need to do (the ones I already do everyday without being reminded) and it's from the boss's daughter. ?? Then two minutes later my manager calls to say she thinks we have had a "mis-understanding" about rosters and I need to pay more attention.  Then she complains that I didn't notice that we were running low on soap in the bathroom (this occured when I was at home, off shift but it's still MY fault).  I also found out that two people got a pay rise last week and now earn more than me despite the fact that I am senior to them and have been here longer.  I know these all seem like petty things but they add up.  I know she'll (manager) be in soon to pick on other things I've done wrong and I'm shaking.  I cried on my way in today.

I suppose I'm so scared because I've been fired at short notice before for no good reason (oh we just hired someone new and don't have enough desks - seriously how lame is that?!! I'm just anticipating "the talk". I can really commiserate Leigh Ann - I've had some pretty bad experiences as a female/panicker/human over the years...sorry to hear about your husband.  My ex had aspbergers too. I'm sorry to be so negative, I just don't cope with criticism or change.  I'm just going to get back to work now and keep my head down.  Thanks again for the support all.


Dance like no-one's watching,
 
Love Thy Neighbour, just don't get caught!
 
NervyMeg


hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 1/6/2007 1:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Meg, I hope you don't mind, I put you on my "prayer list." I hope that things get better for you.
Kelly
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/9/2007 1:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Kelly, that means a great deal to me.  I'm back at work today and no-one is talking to me no matter how nice I try to be.  I wish I had thicker skin and didn't care what they said, but I do...I've upped my valium which is helping a little.  I hope I get another job offer soon.

Dance like no-one's watching,
 
Love Thy Neighbour, just don't get caught!
 
NervyMeg


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/9/2007 6:12 AM (GMT -6)   
Hun I am so sorry I wish I could come kick some butt for you
YOU are BETTER than any of them so dont let them get to you n we are on your shoulders ( you can whisper to me LOL)........I am not making light of your situation baby I am telling you it will all work out and prolly for the better 'If they dont know and love you the way we all do here IT IS there loss............snooze ya loose
No matter what hun we will be here for you always
YOU know that
God Bless
Luvs ya
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......You can Do It........We are Here For You 
                God Bless .........Lyn
Make The Best of The New year .......You Can and Will Reach your Goals
                              Loads of Love n Support
                                        Lyn   
 
 
 
                                  
                          
                                  


normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 1/9/2007 9:30 AM (GMT -6)   
Meg...Sorry I am so late in hopping on the thread here. I am going through similar stuff here too the upper heads if you will of the department have essentially stopped talking to me and what no like they used to apparently now nothing i do is good enough. I am currently looking for other jobs but it is not an easy task for me caling people and interviews spike my anxiety up mighty fast. I wish you the best and hope things start looking up.
--Michelle
Help Support the forums: www.healingwell.com/donate
 
"The best way out is always through.  ~Robert Frost~
 
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
~Confucius~

 


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/10/2007 7:02 PM (GMT -6)   

Thanks for the support Lyn I really could use you sitting on my shoulder (I'll try and imagine it!!) I've decided today not to be intimidated by anyone no matter what they say (squaring my shoulders lol).  I'm going to be strong and get through this until I find another job.

Michelle, thanks for the kind words, I'm sorry you're going through this as well, it really rocks your self-esteem....Maybe we can hold each others "virtual" hands through this.  Good luck to you too.


Dance like no-one's watching,
 
Love Thy Neighbour, just don't get caught!
 
NervyMeg


hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 1/10/2007 8:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Meg,  Have you ever done the Meyer-Briggs personality assessment?  I am an INFJ and being a "psychic sponge" a situation like you are in now would un-nerve me and make me paranoid too.  You sound like a sensitive lady and I'm know that you have a lot ot offer them.  Just show them that and then know at the end of each day that you did the best job that you could do and you are worthy of a great job. If something happens, it is their loss!  I'm glad to see your strong attitude.  The business world is like the jungle "survival of the fittest."  Dig your heels in and show them that you will not back down.  Hang in there!
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 1/10/2007 10:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Meg any time...if you ever need/want to chat my contact info is in my profile

Hang in there
--Michelle
Moderator Anxiety/Panic Forum

Help Support the forums: www.healingwell.com/donate

"The best way out is always through. ~Robert Frost~

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
~Confucius~


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/11/2007 8:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the support Michelle and Hopeful, I'm not backing down!!!! I am soooo sensitive, yes and I'm still shaking all day (and drinking too much at night - bad) but I'm not taking anymore negativity then I deserve.  The really great news is that my dream job (working in a library) was just posted on the net today.  It's for a casual position and it's in MY library five minutes walk away, I'm there everyday getting new books anyway so they might as well employ me!!!! I am really excited!!!
Dance like no-one's watching,
 
Love Thy Neighbour, just don't get caught!
 
NervyMeg


hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 1/12/2007 12:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Meg, this is GREAT news. A prayer is going up for you RIGHT NOW! Please let us know what becomes of it.

Please don't drink too much, Meg. Alcohol is really a depressant. Do you have an anti-anxiety med that you could take instead?

Luv,
Kelly
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/12/2007 6:20 AM (GMT -6)   
yeah            yeah                          yeah               yeah                     yeah                        yeah
 
 Although I am not feeling the greatest I will still do the Happy dance for you sweetie
Kudos
I am so happy and I know I just know things will work out
Didnt I tell you this from the get -go ......lol
I am praying and keeping you in my thoughts and heart
 
**** Am still on your shoulder and I promise I am not heavy kk ****
Luvs ya sweetie and
GO FOR IT >>>>>............All the way
We are all here for u as always and always will be
 
 Keep us POSTED asap please ...........
 
            Luvs 'Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......You can Do It........We are Here For You 
                God Bless .........Lyn
Make The Best of The New year .......You Can and Will Reach your Goals
                              Loads of Love n Support
                                        Lyn   
Co Mod @ Crohns
 Moderator@ Alzheimer's 
 Moderator @ Anxiety/Panic
 
 
                                  
                          
                                  


normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 1/12/2007 7:16 AM (GMT -6)   
good luck with the dream job...Sometimes they say things happen for a reason...think about it..If this didnt happen where you work would you have been looking and noticed that your dream job was there?
--Michelle
Moderator Anxiety/Panic Forum

Help Support the forums: www.healingwell.com/donate

"The best way out is always through. ~Robert Frost~

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
~Confucius~


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/12/2007 7:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh guys thanks :-) I'm grinning so much from your support that I think my face might split in two!!!! Lyn, I still need you on my shoulder for a few more days is that OK???!! (you're light as a feather lol).  thanks as always kelly, you are an absolute godsend gem! and yes michelle you are sooo right I wouldn't have even been looking if I didn't hate my job..you smarty pants!!!!! lol. Now I've got to write the application (shudder)....
I will try not to drink today. Promise.
 
Dance like no-one's watching,
 
Love Thy Neighbour, just don't get caught!
 
NervyMeg


anxiety veteran
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 103
   Posted 1/14/2007 1:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey nervymeg, When we are stressed and anxious we feel the pressure and the finger pointed at us a little more than most. Hang in and know you are doing your job well and don't take any bull. People tend to think people like "US" won't fight back. But we are strong because of who we are. You will do fine. Hang in there, the cream rises to the top!

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/15/2007 3:30 AM (GMT -6)   
Well said anxiety vet well said
Hun I am a sober alcoholic since 79
if ya need to talk I have yrs of info and support ...........
Luvs ya
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......You can Do It........We are Here For You 
                God Bless .........Lyn
Make The Best of The New year .......You Can and Will Reach your Goals
                              Loads of Love n Support
                                        Lyn   
Co Mod @ Crohns
 Moderator@ Alzheimer's 
 Moderator @ Anxiety/Panic
 
 
                                  
                          
                                  


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/15/2007 5:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes nicely put anxiety veteran, I like the cream analogy! I'm just wishing I could believe in myself a bit better.  I'm good at fighting panic but not so good at fighting low self esteem.  I put up and shut up too much and I'm working really hard to change that.  Lyn, I'm pretty sure  I'm not an  alcoholic; just self-medicating due to stress.  Or maybe that's just denial???  I've had a few drink free days now and I have to say, I feel much better. 
 
I don't like mondays.....but who does??? Hope you all have a wonderful week :-)
Dance like no-one's watching,
 
Love Thy Neighbour, just don't get caught!
 
NervyMeg


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/16/2007 7:09 AM (GMT -6)   
you too sweetie
Luvs ya
post when you know whats goign on k
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......You can Do It........We are Here For You 
                God Bless .........Lyn
Make The Best of The New year .......You Can and Will Reach your Goals
                              Loads of Love n Support
                                        Lyn   
Co Mod @ Crohns
 Moderator@ Alzheimer's 
 Moderator @ Anxiety/Panic
 
 
                                  
                          
                                  


normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 1/16/2007 7:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Hope it works out for you meg. I am the same way as in I let people walk all over me because I dont have great self esteem...I can probably thank my mother for that... I too would not have started actively looking for a job if I was happy where I am. I do need to start looking for jobs and have started looking. I have an interview thursday which will send my anxiety flying. But what are we to do...Just take it one step at a time...You have us all here fighting on your side...Let us know if we can help...and yes stay away from the bottle...causes more problems than it solves...
--Michelle
Moderator Anxiety/Panic Forum

Help Support the forums: www.healingwell.com/donate

"The best way out is always through. ~Robert Frost~

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
~Confucius~

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