It feels like I've done a complete turn around. I am irritable, grouchy and hating everyone and everything. I'm also extremely tired. I haven't had more than 5-6 hours of sleep for the past week or so. Once I'm awake, I'm up. My anxiety is elevated and my bipolar feels out of control. I can't seem to get my footing. I'm weaning off my geodon for bipolar and off my cymbalta completely. Now I'm only on prozac and imiprimine. Maybe I can attribute all this to that. I don't know. All I know is that I'm very tired of trying. I'm tired of worrying about everything, bills, my health, school, family, my husband. I'm tired of not having access to my own meds. I want to just scream obsenities at everything. I know that won't help, but it might make me feel better. My husband has been reading my journal to keep track of my moods so he can help me, at least that was his excuse. I feel violated and he doesn't get that. I don't know how to explain it to him.
BTW, I had an extemely bad dream last night. I woke up and felt a very evil presence there with me. I don't remember the dream at all, just the feeling of panic and chills running down my spine. I don't know where that came from or what it was.
Thanks for letting me vent. I appreciate you all.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
DX: ankylosing spondylitis, periferal neuropathy, chronic migraines/headaches, depression/panic attacks, bi-polar, hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, sleep apnea
RX: synthroid, estradiol, cymbalta, prozac, geodon, lamictal, inderal la, klonopin, seroquel, imiprimine, aspirin, (relpax, maxalt, phenergan, esgic plus, xanax, PRN for migraine)
Surgeries: hysterectomy 1997, tonsillectomy 2001, deviated septum 2005, cataracts (both eyes) 2006
Post Edited (seechell) : 1/3/2007 8:17:37 PM (GMT-7)