Thanks for your contributions! Actually we did visit a child psychiatrist with Joey, the psych I mentioned before. The drug he prescribed was an antipsychotic, called Risperdal. He claimed to have had succes with this medicin before, on children with anxiety disorder. The benzo's and SSRI were to heavy (and addictive) for children of Joey's age, so he considered them a non-option.
Furthermore we already use 'sitters'. E.g. two friends of ours who both have no children of their own. Every now and then they take Joey for a trip to the zoo, the playground, the swimmingpool, a walk in the park or just an afternoon at their homes. Quite succesfull, Joey really enjoys these activities. Sometimes he even stays for the night. But thenagain the same problems occur. He stays 'glued' to their supervision with the same separation anxieties he has at home.
As a matter of fact it's not so much the separation of us, his parents, but of the presence of any familar adult he trusts.
Due to this behaviour he doesn't do very well socially when it comes to kids his own age. He will stick to their parents instead of his playmates, for he seeks their protection at all times. That is why he finds himself unable to go and play outside with these other children (which they consider rather weird, of course).
He was also assessed by psychologists in order to develop a "manual" how to deal with Joeys fearfull behaviour. What situations should we push Joey to cross his limits and what situations we need to be considerate, understanding.
Prior to that they argued about the diagnose Joey should be given, on which they didn't succeed to come to an agreement. Or an adequate therapy, for that reason.
about half a year ago we managed to get Joey to join the local boyscouts. We were lucky to meet young and understanding, enthousiast leaders there who succeeded to earn Joey's respect and trust. But it took quite some time and effort.
Our next step will -indeed- be to get him into sports, but one step at the time, cause he's just barely getting used to being a boyscout now.
The main reason for us, however, is to get in touch with other parents or therapists who recognize this kind of children's anxiety disorder. At this moment it seems like we're the only parents dealing with these kind of problems. Neither the professionals that examined Joey, nor the parents we encountered thus far seem to know a simular 'case'. In our opinion it can't possibly be that unique?! This is exactly why we're searching on this USA-forum now, as we ourselves live in Holland, Europe (which should explain our imperfect english?). In Holland we did not find the answers, the recognition we are looking for. Our hope now is to find these items in a country 500 times as big, a country I love and respect and visited several times for work or vacation. Thanks again, we really appreciate your concern! Mathew. (Joey's dad).