colostomies /anxiety/ depression and self worth issues ........

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
38 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2 
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/10/2007 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   
I am new to this and I am having a very hard time.  On a daily basis I deal with depression  and anxiety, but now I have this colostomy.  I can't stand to look at myself......how do I cope with me and even meeting anyone?  Any thoughts that may help?
Krissie

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 1/13/2007 3:56:26 AM (GMT-7)


normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 1/10/2007 7:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Krissie I am sorry you have top deal with all of this...Perhaps you could share more about your situation so that others can better help you. Welcome to HW. There is a great family and support system her. Hang in there
--Michelle
Moderator Anxiety/Panic Forum

Help Support the forums: www.healingwell.com/donate

"The best way out is always through. ~Robert Frost~

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
~Confucius~


krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/10/2007 7:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your support.  How do I deal with the changes in my body that I cannot handle?  How do i find a man that would be attracted to me?  I know that this surgery was for the better, but emotionally I am not taking it too well. I am doing well with the technical part of things, but I keep projecting about the summer and wearing a swimsuit, sex?????  I have tried talkin to my family and they just do not understand.
Krissie

Post Edited (krissie) : 1/10/2007 7:42:37 PM (GMT-7)


freezinginAK
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1052
   Posted 1/10/2007 8:48 PM (GMT -7)   

  I had just read your post and just wondering if the bag is a permanent or just a temp only 15% are permanent and I hope that is the case with you and as for a swim suit get yourself a one piece with a shrit around it and any man in his right mind will see you for who you are and can over look anything for that is true love best wishes

  Cowboy up


krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/10/2007 9:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for responding......I am curious, do you have a bag also?, and if it is not to personal, are you a man or a woman?  I have a permanent one.   I have absolutely no muscle control in my intestine so for over ten years I have been through many surgeries and over the last year have pooped like a 2 year old or a 90 year old if you catch my drift.  I had to stop going back to campus life at college (my second time around) I am an R.N. from Mass, but moved to N.H. a few years ago and could rarely leave my home. I started going back to school online.  This has ruined two marriages for me....being sick and all.  While in the hospital for weeks the ostomy nurse gave me websites that I could order sexy things that had pockets that held the bag and there are swimsuits that do the same, but I have a hard time seeing my entire stomach the way it is......how can I expect a man to want me if I hate the way I look?  I already lost two.  I am attractive and smart, but sexy no more.  And how do you possibly bring it up to someone?   Date for a bit, begin to like each other and then, oh, by the way, I have a colostomy.  I need help!!!!!!
Krissie

freezinginAK
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1052
   Posted 1/10/2007 9:38 PM (GMT -7)   

  Well I'm to start off with I'm male and I had a friend that had shot herself with a 22 rifle in the gut and had to where a bag but no I don't have one. But even so we know of it and she even showed it to us but that didn't stop us from being friends we understood how it was for her to deal with the uncontroled movements for her but we overlooked it as she was a true friend and if ppl can't handly that fact of life then there not the one's you need but like I said any true man can and will overlook it and find the sexy and smart person that you are and when it comes down to it he will still find you that sexy person that you are and will deal with it

 Cowboy up


krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/10/2007 10:46 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry about your friend and I did not mean to offend you when I asked if you were a man or not.  I wish more men had the same attitude that you do.  I remember right before I went into the hospital, I was at the pharmacy.  This guy my age (37) worked there as a pharmacist.  He asked me if I were O.K. and I said no.  I just found out that I have to have most of my colon removed and I was getting a colostomy.  I got some guts and asked him if he met a girl that he got to like and thought she was pretty and smart..all the things he wanted and one day she said, I have a colostomy what would you do?  He said honestly?  I said of course.  He thought for a moment and told me that he would most likely tell her he could not see her anymore.  I cried all the way home.  So maybe after 2 marriges gone bad due to my illness and what he said....can you see why I feel this way?
I appreciate every word you write to me, and hope to keep hearing from you.....by the way, what's your name?
 
Krissie

freezinginAK
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1052
   Posted 1/10/2007 11:14 PM (GMT -7)   

  My nane is Dave, and I'm so sorry that you had to go though that it must have been so painfull for you and you did not affend me at all and that guy was nothing but a jerk and a shallow minded I live in Alaska in the bush and have learned that some ppl are just that way while others look past those things and are willing to help you with fishing and hunting for your winter food as I do I'm just sorry that you met that jerk but like they say there is someone there just for you and will deal with it just keep looking and you will find him when the time is right

  Dave


krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/10/2007 11:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Dave,
What you said was really nice..  Are you married?  Only asking because I would wonder if your wife gets upset if you talk on the line to other women.
 
Alaska huh?  Maybe I need to move there.  Maybe the men in the eastern part of the U.S. are just idiots.  What do you do?  What brings you to this site, if you do ont mind me asking?
 
Krisssie

Rock50
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 264
   Posted 1/10/2007 11:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Krissie,

I'm very sorry I cannot respond in detail tonight but I have taken something to help me sleep and it is kicking in. I have some experience with a bag and got over it. It is very late here in Kentucky and I want to make sure I word my suggestions carefully. I understand the hurt, embarrassement, depression and anger that comes with it.

What I will tell you tonight is that you can get over wearing the bag and anybody that let a Colostomy ruin a relationship was not worth having anyhow so be glad he's gone. I recently underwent two operations and now I need to wear a diaper (Prostate removed and Nerves were damaged) Boy this can get into some wild conversations also or I can end up in the mall soaking wet from the crotch to the knees.  Hell when someone looks down and see's me soaking wet I just tell them I forgot to put on my diaper, you should see the looks on their faces.

I'm getting crossed eyed trying to focus on the screen. You hang in there and I will write you tomorrow night. Remember you are still beautiful and smart. Take care.

Eric

Post Edited (Rock50) : 1/11/2007 12:05:00 AM (GMT-7)


freezinginAK
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1052
   Posted 1/10/2007 11:45 PM (GMT -7)   

  I'm on disability for an anxiety and panic attacks and yes I'm married now for 21 years I moved here becouse I loved to hunt and fish but I have had to reluren (sp) how to deal with it as I don't have the power to do it by myself but I don't let it stop me from doing so I have three horses that I use for hunting and just riding around but yea my wife allway's saids what I'm I doing talking to all my girl friends but I just let it go and I feel better talking about it here and have a much better understanding about it now then before. A lot of the ppl here in Alaska are more down to earth and live off the land here as long as you get away from the city life.

  Dave


Post Edited (freezinginAK) : 1/11/2007 12:48:21 AM (GMT-7)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/11/2007 2:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi and welcome
I have crohns and so far I have been blessed....even if I am in pain constantly
I am sorry that you had to deal with a jerk like that
NOT all men are like that
Look at our Dave and Rock .......

I really cant add more than what has been said
The input and support youve been given is the best
You are beautiful and we will be here for you alwasy
Be well and keep kicking those types of guys to the curb.......
Lyn............BTW there is a crohns forum here as well

 


    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......You can Do It........We are Here For You 
                God Bless .........Lyn
Make The Best of The New year .......You Can and Will Reach your Goals
                              Loads of Love n Support
                                        Lyn   
Co Mod @ Crohns
Alzheimer Moderator
A/P Moderator
 
 
                                  
                          
                                  


krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/11/2007 7:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Eric,
Oh gosh, how old are you?  I was wearing diapers also, fun, huh?  I apreciate you writing to me so late last night.  I got your message this morning.  I am so sorry for all you are going through yourself.  I am really glad that I found this site.  Just hearing from a few people has helped me get up a little easier this morning.  I look forward to talking to you soon.
Krissie

krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/11/2007 7:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Dave,
 
Thank you for chatting with me all night.  I am sorry for all that you have to deal with.  It is not easy.  Thank your wife for letting you chat with me....I needed someone to talk to and you were there. I look forward to talking to you again.
 
Krissie

normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 1/11/2007 8:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Krissie dont get me wrong when I say this I am not trying to get rid of you or anything...You might conisder checking out our Ostomies forum...I have a feeling they MIGHT have a little more insight to this than most of us here. This said I hope you stilck around and keep us posted...You sound like a wonderful person and I can see you have already made some friends here.
--Michelle
Moderator Anxiety/Panic Forum

Help Support the forums: www.healingwell.com/donate

"The best way out is always through. ~Robert Frost~

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
~Confucius~


krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/11/2007 4:28 PM (GMT -7)   
o.k. Michelle, I will try that.....it is just confusing as to what site to go on......becasue I do have depression, anxiety and such.  It looked  last night like there was a lot of postings on the ostomy sites.....thanks for your help.
 
Krissie

Rock50
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 264
   Posted 1/11/2007 8:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Krissie let me know if you are going to stick around this forum or are you going to Ostomies. I post on several sites and I think Michelle was just letting you know that there is probably a lot more people on Ostomies that can relate to certain aspects of what you are having difficulties with. As she said, she is not trying to run you off. I like the people I have found here. If I liked the people on a Histerectomy site I'd post there.

Let me know where to post to. I am just 52 and when I'm healthy I act somewhere between 18 and 35. I try not to act 52 unless there is a advantage to it.

I am having a rough time right now. I had surgery in Aug for the Cancer and they also ruptured me during the operation and I had surgery last Wednesday to repair that. I got addicted to Narcotics after my prostate was removed. I intially began taking them for pain and continued to take them because I was feeling sorry for myself. Now I am try to kick them and thats how I found these good people. Like anywhere you will find a couple of jerks and they are easy to spot but 99 9/10 of these people will do anything within there power to help you.

As soon as you tell me where you are going to hang out I will tell you some things I went through and what I learned from them. I got to repond to some email from Howlyncat and I'll check back withyou in a little bit so see if you responded.

Hang in there - You have no choice

KEEP THE FAITH
ERIC
 
P.S. thanks for going back to black type.  I was extremely tired last night and I swear my eyes went crossed twice.  I think the colors did not help much.
 
Much Love
Eric

Post Edited (Rock50) : 1/11/2007 8:28:59 PM (GMT-7)


Rock50
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 264
   Posted 1/11/2007 10:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Well girl it's 12:30 in Kentucky and I have not heard from you. Just let me know where it is best to reach you and can you make your email available in your contact infor?

KEEP THE FAITH
ERIC

normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 1/12/2007 5:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes like rock said....I am not trying to run you off just figured they might be able to better answer the question you posted here over in that ostomies forum... You can post here or there or both that is your call. Please keep us posted as to how you are...
--Michelle
Moderator Anxiety/Panic Forum

Help Support the forums: www.healingwell.com/donate

"The best way out is always through. ~Robert Frost~

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
~Confucius~


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/12/2007 5:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Hopefully we will hear from her soon
The other forum has more info of couse but this also brings alot of stress and anxiety I am a Crohns person or a person with Crohns so I know the angst that comes with this type of DD I do not have a bag but I can relate to a point ya know...........but there for the grace Of God ,go I I have been lucky ........
Yes Michelle was just being helpful as always and it is a great idea
I would also stick to this forum as well hun to help with the A/P and stress okay .........
Please take care and keep it in your head hun you have our support always
Luvs
and God Bless
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......You can Do It........We are Here For You 
                God Bless .........Lyn
Make The Best of The New year .......You Can and Will Reach your Goals
                              Loads of Love n Support
                                        Lyn   
Co Mod @ Crohns
 Moderator@ Alzheimer's 
 Moderator @ Anxiety/Panic
 
 
                                  
                          
                                  


krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/12/2007 9:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Eric,
 
I tried to log on I guess is the word to the ostomie site, but have you seen it?  Millions of postings...Haven't heard from anyone specific yet.  I was just notified to re-read the posts before I get anymore.  Confusing.  You can reach me here or there.  It doesn't matter.   I will continue to check this , but you know what?  I check that box at the bottom to let me know if I get any posts from someone from this site, so just keep writing if you can.  I am so sorry that you are going through everything you are.  I know about getting addicted to the meds, I did too a few years ago, when I kept getting sicker and hopitalized all of the time and no one could really fix me.  It took ten years and a lot of surgeries before I got a great G.I. doc who finally helped and got me to the right surgeon.  If you need to talk about getting off the meds, I can help.  Have you tried ultram or tramadol (same things)?  It is a non narcotic that works like one.  Unfortunately, you have to take narcotics after all the surgery you went through.  It is hard.  I feel sorry for myself more than I can tell you about, but narcotics only make it worse when you use them in a way they are not prescribed.  Did you know they are actually depressants?
 
I hope to hear from you again soon,
Krissie

krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/12/2007 9:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Lyn,
 
Thank you for your postings to me and for your support.  I think I will stay with both of the sites.  It is so hard to just talk to someone about what I am going through, that is why I am greatful that I found you guys.
Krissie

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/13/2007 3:56 AM (GMT -7)   
No problem hun
I really think you need the a/p site as well to get you thru this and glad you are gonna stick with us okay
Keep The Faith as our sweet Rock says
He is a great supporter and a very wise man ........'
Many others on here will be helping as well
Post any thread ya want to help you get thru this angst okay( i am adding a few words to title of your thread okay so more will respond)
Luvs
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity...with that ...My God
 Family and Great Friends ........I have it All
 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......You can Do It........We are Here For You 
                God Bless .........Lyn
Make The Best of The New year .......You Can and Will Reach your Goals
                              Loads of Love n Support
                                        Lyn   
Co Mod @ Crohns
 Moderator@ Alzheimer's 
 Moderator @ Anxiety/Panic
 
 
                                  
                          
                                  


krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/13/2007 1:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Lyn,
 
Thanks for being there for me.  What do you mean by adding more to my post so others will respond as well?  How do I get back to where you are talking about with the posting?  I am one of thos computer illiterate people and have no idea how to get from here to there.
 
Thanks-
Krissie

freezinginAK
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1052
   Posted 1/13/2007 11:53 PM (GMT -7)   

  Hay Krissie it's dave again just seeing how your doing, I'm glad you are still on this site and all Lyn did was to add to your title on your thread is all so you will get more info for you.

As you had seen I had quiet the night last night from my postings I think I had more p/a's then ever before just trying to find my kid at a birthday party with the warning of a tidy wave hitting us here in Alaska on the tv warning us of it coming but thankfully it didn't hit us but what along night it was.

  Cowboy up----dave

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
38 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2 
Forum Information
Currently it is Monday, December 05, 2016 1:42 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,733,101 posts in 301,081 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151234 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, amnmaddox.
373 Guest(s), 13 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
alephnull, sheepguy, amnmaddox, Milenita, Tick41, rocckyd, LG13, jabele, Mexlyme, omar brarou, Dan0, Meshawmama, k07


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer