I Just Feel So Bad...

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janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 1/25/2007 8:55 PM (GMT -6)   
I am feeling pretty rough right now. The anxiety is there (of course) but the depression is making me want to lay down and cry. I have a headache and am so tense. I've been trying for so long to keep a stiff upper lip and go on with my life, but I feel like I'm going to crumble into a big heap at any time. I always feel like I'm walking on a highwire w/o a net. I've been on the bigger dose of Paxil for 3 days and am wondering if it's actually made me worse...???
janet
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.
janet


MsKittie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 789
   Posted 1/25/2007 9:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello janetlee
 
Honey I'm so sorry your feeling so bad right now. Sounds to me like you are going thru the adjustment period of the new med. I know my meds usually take a couple of weeks for me to see any changes and then I'm compleatly better in about 4 weeks. It is ok to lay down and cry hun that is one of the ways to let your feelings out. I have always been strong at fighting all my illness but there are just sometimes we have to break and after that is when I find my strength again to keep fighting. Please hold on hun this is something you can get thru and were all here for you at HW so please keep us updated on how you are doing and the new meds are working for you. If you ever need to talk you can find my email address under members on the blue line above. Please put Janetlee in the subject line so I will know who you are.
(((HUGS)))
   MsKittie
 
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
I have an illness, My illness don't have me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*                                      
 
Being happy doesnt mean everything's perfect.It means you've decided to see beyound the imperfrctions!God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but HE did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears & light for the way                                        

 

 


Junebug05
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 717
   Posted 1/25/2007 10:24 PM (GMT -6)   

Janetlee,

I'm sorry that you are going through such a tough time right now.  Keep in mind that it is only temporary, you'll find your way back out again!  I agree completely with Ms Kittie, give your meds a chance to kick in.  Sometimes AD can take a while to build up to their full dose, so try and be as patient as you can with that.  I also agree with the crying part, sometimes it's the only way for me to let the feelings out and Kittie is right about feeling better after and more able to move forward.  You hang in there and know you are not alone!


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/26/2007 4:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Sweetie
Just a wee more time and then if not any better get to that doc of yours again
my opinon
Luvs ya
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity... 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......
               
                             
 Co Mod @ Crohns                                     
 Moderator@ Alzheimer's 
 Moderator @ Anxiety/Panic
 
 
                                  
                          
                                  


janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 1/26/2007 6:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks all...I'm feeling worse today than I did yesterday. All I want to do is lay down, sleep, and cry. I asked the pharmacist today about if a higher dose of Paxil can actually make you MORE depressed and he said that it should take 10 days to 2 weeks to know if it affects me either way.....
janet
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.
janet


seechell
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 1/26/2007 6:44 PM (GMT -6)   

(((((((Janetlee)))))))

Lord knows I've been where you are. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this. It's very hard. Cry if you need to. Maybe it will cathartic, who knows? Take a hot bath, put smelly stuff in the water, lay there and relax. Light a candle, listen to soothing music. That's my only advise other than just hang in there. BTW, you'll notice I'm not good at taking my own advise. Hope that made you laugh a little.


Take Care,
               Chelle
    "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
  DX: ankylosing spondylitis, periferal neuropathy, chronic migraines/headaches, depression/panic attacks, bi-polar, hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, sleep apnea
  RX: synthroid, estradiol, prozac, lamictal, inderal la, klonopin, seroquel, imiprimine, aspirin, (relpax, maxalt, phenergan, esgic plus, xanax, PRN for migraine)
  Surgeries: hysterectomy 1997, tonsillectomy 2001, deviated septum 2005, cataracts (both eyes) 2006
 
 


libbyf
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 1/26/2007 8:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Try to give another couple of weeks.  In the meantime try to take your mind some place else.  Watch a funny movie, read a scary book anything that takes you away for a little while. 

janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 1/26/2007 8:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, today I couldn't hide how really bad I'm feeling from my mom any longer...it's "understood" that I try to always act "okay" no matter what cuz else she gets all upset and it manifests itself as anger at me. This evening she told me that if I just had to lay my head down on the table and didn't feel like sitting up to just go to the other room and lay on the couch. It was not said with any feelings, except for aggravation...it ends up making me feel like a lower than dirt dog. I feel more alone than I can tell you. When she says "if you feel THAT bad" with dripping sarcasm, I just wanna crawl into a hole and die. I went to help her clean offices tonite and we didn't speak to each other all the way to or back and only spoke at the offices when necessary. It just hurts me so bad. I end up feeling like I want to hide my head in shame cuz I can't stop my feelings from being evident. No consoling words, just isolationism. God, how I hope I feel better soon but I'm scared to death that it'll never be over.
janet
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.
janet


MsKittie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 789
   Posted 1/26/2007 11:57 PM (GMT -6)   

Janetlee

Your not alone hun we are all here for you. I know we can't reach out and hold you when you need to be held but we can still confort you. Please talk to your counsler at school and they can get you help if your mother don't acknolage you are having a problem. You come and talk to us anytime hun were always here. ((((((Hugs))))))


(((HUGS)))
   MsKittie
 
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
I have an illness, My illness don't have me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*                                      
 
Being happy doesnt mean everything's perfect.It means you've decided to see beyound the imperfrctions!God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but HE did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears & light for the way                                        

 

 


janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 1/27/2007 11:18 AM (GMT -6)   
MsKittie,
You're sweet and I know it'll sound weird, but I'm 42 years old. I've always lived at home and am on disability for anxiety disorder. Mom and I have a symbiotic relationship so I can see how anyone would think I'm a child from my post. I didn't want to get up out of bed today. I feel sick. I am so scared. mom left a note on the bathroom mirror saying that even if she doesn't handle this well, she wants me to know she loves me...I never really doubt that, but sometimes I need a long hug, some consoling words, a good thought...you know? I'm having bad thoughts but so what else is new. I am really scared and am afraid that there's no way out.
janet
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.
janet


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/28/2007 5:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Sweetie
I do understand
She left you a note at least
I think that might be a good opening to sitting and talking to her finally
Just my opinion
Luvs
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity... 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......
               
                             
 Co Mod @ Crohns                                     
 Moderator@ Alzheimer's 
 Moderator @ Anxiety/Panic
 
 
                                  
                          
                                  


MsKittie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 789
   Posted 2/1/2007 8:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello Janetlee
 
Oh honey I'm so sorry for the miss understanding. I am so happy to hear you and your mother are together and are both working thru this together. Thank you for clearing this up for me hun.
(((HUGS)))
   MsKittie
 
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
I have an illness, My illness don't have me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*                                      
 
Being happy doesnt mean everything's perfect.It means you've decided to see beyound the imperfrctions!God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but HE did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears & light for the way                                        

 

 


normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 2/1/2007 10:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Some parents just dont know how to "love" like normal people should...They all have their own ways even if it doesnt seem it...The note could be a start...Does your mom have anxiety issues too? if so she could feel guilty for the the way you feel as if she passed it on to you or did something wrong to "make you that way"...
--Michelle
Moderator Anxiety/Panic Forum

Help Support the forums: www.healingwell.com/donate

"The best way out is always through. ~Robert Frost~

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
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hunniebee
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 116
   Posted 2/2/2007 1:25 AM (GMT -6)   
((((Janet)))) Im so sorry you're going through such a rough time. Please hang in there. Remember we're here for you always. Hopefully your mom will come around and try to maybe research and find out more of why you are going through what you are going through. It's so much worse on us when we feel like no one around us understands. Trust me Ive been there. But things do and will turn around. All my best wishes to you. *Blessings* Julie
Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.--


janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 2/2/2007 7:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you all!
janet
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.
janet

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