Having a Bad few days

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funnyclub
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 28
   Posted 2/10/2007 3:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey guys I am having a bad few days. I am on lexapro about 2 and a half weeks now I started on the 5mg and i am now on the 10mg.
I work shift work and I started back on my night shiftcycle on sunday gone and finished on the tuesday morning. On the Wednesday I had to mind my 7 month old daughter on my own I woke up having disturbing taughts. I used to get these about a few things and they were taughts of doin stuff that i would never actually do but the fact that they even came into my head upset me and made me panic. So thats one reason I get panic attacks the other is going places and doing stuff thats not in my comfort zone.
 
Anyway that morning I started to panic and worry that i couldnt mind my daughter on my own so i rang my parents who came down to me. We then went back to there house where i was fine.
I am really annoyed as I am worried I wont be a good parent and that i am not the same person i used to be its like my confidance is gone.
 
I am seeing a phsycho therapist however her husband had a brain hemorrhage about 3 weeks ago and I havnt seen her since then.
My parents are very supportive and have friends that work within mental illnesses. So they have said they are going to get this sorted for me. They called there friend who came  the house and she talked with me she said she thinks cognitive behavioural therapist will work well for me and if not she is friends with the best psychiatrist in our country and she said she would get him to see me.
 
I was also giving 15 days worth of xanax from my doctor which are gone now and i have been told not to get anymore as they are addictive. This worries me as i think they realy helped me as well.
 
If I can hear some advice that would be great and also if anyone else on hear gets panic attack from disturbing taughts  I would love to hear from you.
 
Cheers,
 
Paul.

freezinginAK
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1052
   Posted 2/10/2007 6:41 PM (GMT -6)   

  Hay Paul

I use to have a lot of those kind of dreams but I somehow learned that you can control your dreams to a point, it seem's like you are halfway awake when having these dreams and when you do realisle you are dreaming you can put into your mind a more pos twist in it and just go with it and your anxiety will be less and less as you learn to control them but night time P/A's that I'm in a deep sleep I don't even wake up from them but boy can I rip up a bed lol

  But you are doing good looking into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as I feel that this really is the only way out, But still some of us do need meds just to have control over are selfs and giving us a sence of depressing the way we think, but I do like having something for those times of high anxiety and if you really feel that it helped you talk to your pdoc about getting more xanax as it dose help you

  Cowboy up


funnyclub
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 28
   Posted 2/10/2007 8:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Mate these taughts dont actually come into my head when I sleep or when half asleep or awake.
I was told my my terapist that they are taughts that scare me so they become compulsive taughts and make me panics. Taughts like am I gay when I know I am not, or taughts of suicide even thought I would never do it, or tuaghts of hurting someone or something etc.
I usually get these taughts when feeling down. there can be days when i am in good mood and dont think them at all.

Also my girlfriend pointed something out to me today she said I usually get these bad spells the same time every year and i had a look back through my work calenders and she was right.
It could be the fact its winter time and I am not getting enough light or something abit like SAD.

Magaroo
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 2/10/2007 9:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Well what can I say? I really need some support right now as the last few days have been absolutely horrifying and dreadful. I have been having immense difficulties with sleeping, the past 2 or 3 nights I have tossing and turning in bed for 5 hours at a time; trying to fall asleep. During these hours I am experiencing extreme anxiety, hyper arousal, and panic and even sleep paralysis of some sort. It has been completely debilitating and draining. When I do finally fall asleep, I constantly have broken sleep and usually only end up getting about 5 hours of sleep altogether (at most). To top things off my schedule is completely ridiculous at the moment; I am waking up around 7pm and up all night. I am sure this type of nocturnal behavior isn’t helping me any. Tonight, my boyfriend went to bed pretty much when I woke up, and this threw me into such panic I thought I needed to go to the hospital and into a mental institution. I don’t want to awaken my boyfriend as I care about him and want him to get adequate sleep and feel well in the morning. This anxiety/panic is so crippling that I am even afraid to go and get myself food in fear of losing my mind in the process. I don’t know it seems I am getting more and more aware and petrified of my surroundings. I know in theory everything is as it should be, but between my fears of me going crazy (being manic, etc) and being up alone- I am in sheer terror. For most of my panic disorder I have gone without medication; perhaps taken ativan once in a blue moon. According to a calendar I keep, I have been taking this sedative more and more frequently lately, practically on a day to day basis. On day I took a dose, and later that night I needed another. It seems my anxiety has been more than off the charts. My boyfriend thinks I may be going through a harder time because I am experiencing withdrawal symptoms some days, did anyone ever find this hard? I also find that I feel more down when on ativan or when it wears off sometimes; did anyone here ever experience this too? I am at a complete and utter loss, I just feel like this can’t just be anxiety and panic. I’ve never been so scared in my entire life and I just want to do whatever it takes to get better. To top it all off, I have an very important appointment coming up in 3 days along with blood work that same day, and I have no idea how I will make it there on time as I have been waking up so late. I have tried everything to fix these awful hours and get back on track, but it seems I am only making everything worse. I’m sorry for writing so much but I am up alone right now and completely horrified. I feel so scared to do anything at all on days like these, and all I feel I can do is hide under my covers and hold on for dear life (and I can barely even do that). Do any of you experience this type of fear and doom? I have scared myself so much up to this point and I don’t see how I am possibly ever going to undo it. All of this is starting to feel more and more out of my control. To God I pray that I am not, in fact, losing my mind. I welcome and plea for any words of encouragement or advice that you may be able to lend. I would just like to be able to even walk through my house with my eyes wide open and without this crippling fear; it’s getting harder and harder each day to get out of the corner of this couch. I’m so afraid that one more step could determine the rest of my life, and I could lose absolutely everything. I’m desperate, please help. Thank you all in advance; you have all been a true God send.

GFK
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 275
   Posted 2/10/2007 10:13 PM (GMT -6)   
You are letting the anxious thoughts spiral out of control. Lack of sleep is debilitating to ANYone - for those of us with A/P it is even worse. First off, conciously stop those thoughts. For me it also helps to change position or location. Focus on something else - TV, word puzzles, mundane chores. Listening (really focusing) on calming music through earphones can help too. Just be sure to short circiut the fear and bad thoughts. Do some deep breathing. Imagine yourself someplace soothing and safe. Dont worry if its hard to keep the thoughts away - it really can be difficult.

First thing tomorrow you should make an appointment with your doctor and/or a therapist. Cognitive Behavior Therapy will teach you how to take control of those thoughts. You will also learn relaxation techniques to help keep you from getting so strung out. Your doc can help you with the med issues.

Take care and really try to relax (its amazing that we have to WORK at it, huh!) Keep us posted...

Karen
Remember - you are at home and safe. This is temporary and you WILL get thru it. Work on getting a normal sleep pattern back. Force yourself to get up in the morning (alarm clock). Get some excersize and fresh air (even if only stepping out your door for a few). Avoid caffine and chocolate.

Magaroo
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 2/10/2007 11:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you very much for all of your advice. I did some of the things you suggested already, and it helped a great deal. Thanks again.

Sharann
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 778
   Posted 2/10/2007 11:17 PM (GMT -6)   
funnyclub,
I am sorry for your troubles. I hope you don't mind if I ask if you have been evaluated for post-partum depression or something like it? I had it very bad 16 yrs ago with my son and I had to get alot of help the 1st 2 years from a woman we hired to help out and my parents(and I am married). I was a basketcase until I was on the right meds. I am a great mom according to my son (most importantly), my husband and my mom even says so. The point is, just because you need help now doesn't mean you are not going to bond with or be a great(ARE a great) mommy. You work on getting under control and it will be ok.
I am a Certified Doxie Lover(Weinerdogs)


freezinginAK
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1052
   Posted 2/10/2007 11:56 PM (GMT -6)   

  Ok Paul sorry that was my bad on that one for I misunderstood you, I see that you are on Lexapro is that helping you at all right now? I'm on 20mgs of it and found that it works better for me with my thoughts running wild like that and it can take up to 6 to 8 weeks to full work or you may just need a ajustment on your meds as not all work the same for everyone.

As your girlfriend had said that you mainly get this feeling during the winter months now that part really sounds like a part of SAD with an anxiety disorder how are you during the summer months do you feel the same at all or is this just a winter thing you got going on here, the more input the better that we can work with and sorry but we have a double posting thing going on here.

  Cowboy up


funnyclub
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 28
   Posted 2/11/2007 9:14 AM (GMT -6)   
I am only on the leaxpro about 3 weeks now I started on 5mg for 10 days and I also had xanax there I was taking twice a day and I felt great. I then started on the 10mg and I have only been on that about 7 days now but in between that I was on night shift and I felt like crap when I came off it.

Also I do seem to be better in the summer months not totally anxious free but better.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 2/12/2007 10:17 AM (GMT -6)   
You have been given great input Funnyclub I can only hope and pray things get bettter for you I get to feeling like this when it is dark and goomy out whether it be rain or yucky dirty snow ya know
Keep the faith and know we are here for you
God BLess
Lyn
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