It's about time i stood naked

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shine_on_u_crazy_dimond
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 2/12/2007 6:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello. I'm new here. How are you all doing?
 
The title of my post is meant both symbollicaly and literally. My anxiety is mainly focused on the appearance of my body. I forgot to introduce myself. I'm from the UK and i'm 19 years old and i have suffered from anxiety and bipolar disorder for,at least, a couple of years.

So what do i mean 'stand naked'? Well i mean be honest with the people here,because I havn't been honest with myself or anybody in my real life (not that this isn't real,but the internet world is much different from society). I have to admit,i am a coward. I can easily log on to a website where people don't know me,people cant judge me and i could explain something that's troubling me,but if i was placed in the situation in real life i would stay silent or continue acting.

I am quite deeply troubled. I have friends and family who would appreciate hearing my genuine self,but i am controlled completely from the ego and in fear of judgement. But what set it off,why try and find help tonight?

Well I was playing football (soccer if you're from the USA) and afterwards the guys were all going for showers so's not to stink out the car. I have a small penis,i mean - a lot of people probably have a small penis somewhere,but it's how you react. I am too frightened to be judged,by female or male. I have never let a girlfriend see me naked because i am so obsessed with the idea people will judge me purely by this. people have never ridiculed me before,but the whole appearance down there and lack of size has caused me anxiety all my adolesence years. The worse part of this problem,is it doesn't matter what anyone says to reply,their is nothing you can say-it's all down to what i do. I just don't know what to do. Having a small penis may be the problem,but the root of the problem lies in my ego. I am in constant fear of being myself, looking bad,being boring - all the things anxiety sufferers go through.

People are in general,helpful. People will probably listen,but something in my head stops me going through with these things,i'm cemented to the thought that this is ruining my life. I have loads and loads of problems related to OCD and bipolar,but this one is probably right at the heart of it all. I care what people think. I don't care what other people think,but apprantly i do,my actions are all based upon that statment,without me seemingly being able to stop them.

I'll temporarily feel better now i'm alone and i can wallow in my negativity,but there comes a point where you just want help with things,but your so frightened of everything outside your internal world you just isolate everything until you age with lonliness,even though your so self obsessed that you have insight into what you need to do. It feels like everything is a big cycle,i find myself at the places saying the same things doing the same things all the time.
 
Thanks for your time.

freezinginAK
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1052
   Posted 2/13/2007 2:05 AM (GMT -6)   

  This part is kind of a sensitive post as there are younger veiwers on here so I will try and keep it low keyed as I can but the size of a man's penis is like the size of a women's breasts, are all different in size and shape and both can feel high anxiety about it but both tend to feel more intemadated about the size and shape thinking that they can not pleasure there partner just from the size of there penis or there breast for it is not the size that counts but more of knowing what you and your partner likes by talking about it and letting each other now what things are more stimulaing to both you and your partner and you will feel better knowing more that the size really dose not matter but knowing more about what kind of sexual stimulations that works for the both of you.

  Cowboy up---dave

 


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 2/13/2007 2:31 AM (GMT -6)   
So very glad you have found us here at at HW.  I'm not a guy so I can't help a lot in that department, but I have body issues as a female that I think are somewhat the same.....I also have OCD and find it quite a struggle to deal with life "in the same way" as most of my peers.  I think I'm probably not able to give a lot of usesful advice here but I know others will.  Please stay with us and let us know how things go for you.
Dance like no-one's watching,
 
Love Thy Neighbour, just don't get caught!
 
NervyMeg


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 2/13/2007 4:42 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome
Dave has given you great advice here and I just wanted to add that I am very self concious about my body I will not or very rarely look into a mirror I feel horrid as I am so thin and I have ppl thinking I am anorexic ( if they only saw what I eat ) and my OCD plays a major role in my body issues as well but I think what would really bother me or hurt me the most is if the person who was suppose to love me cared more about what I had or didnt have then what I am ya know
You sound like a very articulate young man that does have plenty of goals and dreams concentrate on them hun
WE will be here dor you glad you found us here and hope you stick around
Lyn
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 Never compromise your self nor your dignity... 
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shine_on_u_crazy_dimond
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 2/13/2007 8:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi again. Thanks for your replies. I just had really bad night last night,and my sleep wasn't so good either. Thanks for all your advice,it helped me feel better. I understand that the problem isn't really in what i see,it's in how i react,i just cant bring myself to change yet. I'm regretting writing that post,because i never even introduced myself or replied to any previous posts on here. I'll be back on at some point during the week and hopefully get to meet you guys properly.
Thanks again.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 2/14/2007 4:58 AM (GMT -6)   
Don't ever regret writing your feelings that is when the " real you" comes out and we dont judge here at all okay we are very supportive and glad to have you with us post as often as you like you are now part of this family
Take care
Lyn sorry about your night last night mine wasnt the greatest either have a bad cold and horrid trying to sleep with it
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity... 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......
               
                             
 Co Mod @ Crohns                                     
 Moderator@ Alzheimer's 
 Moderator @ Anxiety/Panic
 
 
                                  
                          
                                  

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