I'm so sorry for you hun sounds like your in over your head right now with all the fighting going on now, is there anyway that you can talk it over with him at all peasefully and try to work things out if not you may just need sometime away to think things over as this is very stressfull for you and not good on your overall heath as well. Are you on any meds for your anxiety as this can help with you not getting out of the house. But I got to say that anxiety disorder is hard for others to full understand I just hope that the two of you can talk it over if not it maybe time to move on with your life
Thank you SO much for your reply. I have ativan to take as needed, but since I have been on treatment for my liver, my nurse prefers for me to try and not take them. Also, my boyfriend gets pretty upset if I want to take them now, because of what my nurse said. What he doesn't seem to understand is that there is NO way I can do those fights for hours on end, and not take anything. Well, I suppose in theory I can, but it's awful for my health and I am up hours later completely anxiety ridden and feeling like I am going mad. Ever since I started the treatment for my liver, stress has been one of the worst things for me as well. I wish he knew what all this does to me, well, I think he does because he sees it but he just thinks I need to 'calm down'. This is a very difficult thing for panic sufferers to do when their anxiety has sky-rocketed. Anyhow, I have mentioned that I can't do these fights anymore...But I know that it takes two, and I am at fault too. I just wish he were more supportive during this rough time, but I think he is tired of my hardships. I can't exactly blame him, and as much as I do, I really shouldn't blame me too. I don't think me telling him that it's all too much is going to do ay good at this point. It seems the arguments begin whenever I mention I want to try new medication maybe (apparently because I am obsessive that there is something else wrong) or when I say I don't know how to live like this. I know he feels I blame him, and to be completely honest, at times I do...but only partially. I just don't like it when he breaks promises to me that he'll be supportive but instead he avoids me almost entirely or gets SO mad whenever I start getting scared again. I just wish I knew what else I can do. As you can see, this has been on my mind all night so far. When we have these fights, I can never ever fall asleep as easily as he does. I think I will just go and speak with a therapist for now, and see how I can improve the relationship on MY behalf. Also, speak to a psychiatrist about another possible disorder. I know mine told me I'm fine, aside from this PD, but I just can't help feeling like I am getting agitated and upset for nothing sometimes- and taking it out on my b/f. Well, I'm pretty sure he seems to think so sometimes anyhow. I'll try these things, and take it from there... Sorry for the long post, but it's better for me to let this stuff out. Even now, I am worried this makes me 'manic' or something, because I just keep rambling on. Ahhh, wish I could find some peace with all of this, with myself...
You may just think about letting him read your post as it is from the heart and hope that he understands your problems that you are deal with right now (just a thought)