One of my passions is making me so sad.

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

SquishyB
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 2/19/2007 11:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Greetings.  I've been on the Fibromyalgia forum several times, but I need some help from you folks tonight.  In addition to Fibromyalgia, I also have Social Anxiety as well as depression and pretty much anything else you can think of.  Tonight my issue is with my anxiety.
 
As I mentioned in the subject, I'm having trouble with one of my passions -- singing.  I love it.  I would do it all day every day if I could.  But the problem is this stupid anxiety.  When I am alone at home, I sing to my heart's content and do a halfway decent job (in my opinion, anyway!).  But even thinking about singing in public gets me all worked up.  Even when I'm at work and talking about some song I know, and someone asks me to sing a few bars, I pretend like I can't remember the tune or the words so I don't have to sing.  I look like such a dork.  I am also in a church choir (there's only about 9 of us), and we are singing a special number.  In large groups I do okay, but my voice isn't as powerful as when I'm at home, the quality is severly diminished, and I get out of breath quicker.  But small groups are where I have the most trouble.  We had a practice tonight (with a microphone no less!), and I was the only Alto there (there should be 2 of us).  My voice got all shaky (as it often does), I couldn't hit the right notes, I was constantly out of breath, and I had no power behind my voice.  It was awful.  I felt terrible.  The more mistakes I made, the worse the anxiety became, and the worse my singing was.  I came home ready to cry, so I went and soaked my troubles in the bathtub, and now I'm ready to confront my anxiety and figure out what to do.
 
Tell me, please, what can I do?  I don't want to stop singing.  I want to improve myself and have the confidence and the courage to SING!
 
What are your passions?  How does anxiety keep you from them?  What do you do to combat that?
 
Please help me feel better about myself!!!

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 2/20/2007 12:25 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm so glad to hear you say you're ready to confront your anxiety.  It takes a really strong person to do that so congratulations.  I guess the advice I would give is to stay confident that you can sing well and try and keep that with you when you perform.  Try and start out with small groups and work your way up as you realise you can do it!!!
I wish i had some better advice for you but I can't sing a note and would never perform so I can only suggest things.  Once again congrats on wanting to conquer this.  Keep on singing and never give up :-)
Dance like no-one's watching,
 
Love Thy Neighbour, just don't get caught!
 
NervyMeg


andwes
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 728
   Posted 2/20/2007 7:53 AM (GMT -6)   
I have had the same problem all my life (I'm now 59)  I had a beautiful singing voice from the time I was about 12 and would sing to my heart's content in my room and my mother tried so desperately to get me to sing in a choir, groups, etc. but to no avail.  I would get all shaky, get out of breath, whatever, whenever I was in front of people.  It's really a shame, as I had so much potential but not enough confidence to do anything more than sing by myself.  Over the years I have lost that beautiful voice (mostly through lack of practicing and SMOKING) so now I have a minimal range, an overpowering vibratto (sp?) and poor breath control.  I wish so much I could go back and do it all over - I sounded very similar to Catherine McPhee from American Idol and yet because of my anxiety and lack of self confidence, could never belt it out in front of an audience like she can.  When I look around me and watch people who are absolutely horrendous singers but think they're wonderful and have no quams about singing in front of anyone, I wonder why I let this bother me all those years.  If I could only convince you to "let it go" and keep telling yourself, "so what if I don't sound great, I'm sure as heck better than alot of other people out there" you'd have half the battle won.  A beautiful voice is a wonderful gift from God and I'm ashamed of myself for never having used that gift.  I hope you can overcome your fear and realize that you've been given a talent and it should be shared with others.  At first you might shake, get out of breath, sound crappy even - - but if you just keep at it I'm sure your confidence will grow.  Good luck!

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 2/20/2007 8:23 AM (GMT -6)   
Squishy
I know you can beat this
Meg and andwes have given you the best input imo and the thruth is you want to beat this right and thats the biggest thing you have next to your voice going for you
FIGHT and practice
YOU wil come out on top of this
we are all here to support you
please keep us posted okay
Take care and God Bless
Lyn


    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity... 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......
 
 
          ** When You FEEL Anothers Pain You FEEL Humbled ** 
 
   
                             
 Co Mod @ Crohns                                     
 Moderator@ Alzheimer's 
 Moderator @ Anxiety/Panic
 
                                     LYN
                                  
                          
                                  

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 2/20/2007 7:05:59 AM (GMT-7)


SquishyB
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 2/20/2007 11:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the thoughts. I feel much better today, but as you know, it cycles. The performance is Saturday night. My parents will be there, and I think that's going to make me even more nervous. I don't know if this happens with anyone else, but my anxiety/quietness seems to be a lot worse when my parents are around (they live out of state). I think I revert back to my younger days at home when it was just easier to keep quiet and let my parents carry a conversation. I am afraid of that happening again. I have made so much progress since moving out on my own and being forced into some situations that make me anxious. I don't want to take a step backwards again!

Dear friends, pray for me!!!

andwes
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 728
   Posted 2/21/2007 2:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh if only I could infuse some strength into you to just go out there, forget all the past hangups, and let your beautiful voice just let loose for everyone to enjoy!  That's what I've wanted to be able to do all my life - and now that I don't have the inhibitions anymore it's too late - I've lost my beautiful voice from years of not practicing and smoking.  What I wouldn't give to have it back because I think now I wouldn't let those fears interfere with me doing what I always loved doing.  So try and keep that thought in mind on Saturday night - forget your parents are there and let your true love of singing come out- when you're singing try to just think about how happy it makes you feel to do it - and that happiness will shine through in your voice.  Good luck!!

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 2/22/2007 6:48 AM (GMT -6)   
andwes has said it quite eloquently and all I have to say is do your best know you have and I am sure the applause will be like thunder
Revel in what makes you happy sweetie an not worry about anything / anyone else on this YOUR night
shine on.......use that God Given talent
We are here for you always
Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 Never compromise your self nor your dignity... 
 Dream, Reach and Believe ......
 
 
          ** When You FEEL Anothers Pain You FEEL Humbled ** 
 
   
                             
 Co Mod @ Crohns                                     
 Moderator@ Alzheimer's 
 Moderator @ Anxiety/Panic
 
                                     LYN
                                  
                          
                                  


SquishyB
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 2/22/2007 5:56 PM (GMT -6)   
What methods do you use to calm yourself? I'm usually okay until we get up to sing, then the nerves kick in. Any quick tips?
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Monday, September 26, 2016 2:04 AM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 2,693,874 posts in 297,416 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 152096 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Gun.
179 Guest(s), 3 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Mews2much, Suzee, Lynnster


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer