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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 2/22/2007 12:01 PM (GMT -6)   
I appear to be a normal, well adjusted, succesful 24 year old.  I have a pretty decent job a nice home and a fabulous partner.  That is all on the outside.  On the inside, I CONSTANTLY fear for my life.  If I feel a slight twitch i am sure it is the sign of a chronic and deadly disease that will rob me of my life.
I am in constant fear that i am going to die, or that my partner will get in a car accident or other random things.
Most recently ( what i like to call my "death of the day") I have been consumed and convinced that i have a brain tomor AND i have a blood clot in my brain...I think was brought on by my partners aunt recently dieing of a brain hemmorage..she woke up one morning had a HORRIBLE headache and it got worse and worse, and ended up telling my partners cousin ( her daughter) to call the the time she got to the hospital she was brain dead ...P.S. this was 1 day after Thansgiving
What brought my problem on you ask?
I have now been on antibiotics for 1 month for a sinus infection that woudl JUST NOT go away.  so my doctor prescribed biaxin for the first two runs and now has me on bactrim,which really seems to be working ( no more headaches which I am sure are a stroke, and no more facial pain or jaw pain..which i am sure is a heart attack)..good right....
well these last couple of days i have been feeling a pain in the left upper shoulder, similiar to a pinched nerve feeling.  well last ngiht I noticed the pain was not there, I had NO syptoms of ANYTHING and everythign was going great!  All ofa sudden when i was removing my head band, I touch the base of my slukk on the leftside ( behind my left ear) and it ofcourse I kept touching it, and it got worse. I tried to brush it off and actually ended up being able to fall asleep.  Well this mornign I woke up and found the pain DID NOT go away and in fact worsened, and is now more tender.  So i am now sure of one of two thigs....I ahve a pinched nerve, or a blod clot.
This is sick, and I feel so alone.  My family tries to soothe me, and bless my partners heart, she has no clue what to do.  I feel lost.
These past two years i have been to the emergency room 3 times.
1). shortness of breath..which i still get now and then( not near as bad)
2). Chest pain...where an EKG was performed and came back when i ave chest pain I have to remind myself I already had the EKG and I end up calming down
3). dizziness and disorientation( turned out by glasses prescription needed updating).
More recently ( which was part of the sinus infection) I had tingly feelings on both sides of my head which I was sure was a lack of oxygen getting to my brain...
I am just tired, I am soo tired, PLEASE HELP ME, I just want to be normal.  what can I I need a physciatrist?
I definintley suffer from anxiety to some degree. i am very high strung, and do get nervous when I experience ANY symptom..which in turns makes it worse.

Update: I just got off of the phone with my doctor ( he asked that I call him when i was half way through with my meds) so i thought I woudl kill two birds with one stone and i asked him about the pain at the base fo my skull..he said it sound like a muscular skeletal thing,a nd I should apply a warm or cold compress and take an ibuprohin ( did I mention I HATE pills) and often fell like my throat is clogged.....

In any event, I know somethign in my brain is causing all of this, whether it is depression, anxietly, or what...I fell like a loser.....I do nto know any other people my age sufferign from this, and I do nto knwo what to do. I was on lexapro which my insurance did nto cover so my doc switched me to a lower generic. Then I relocated ( for work) and got a new doc ( which he is wonderful) and we have not dicsussed anti-depressants....I really do nto know

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 2/22/2007 1:50 PM (GMT -6)   
I suggest you talk with your doc. Perhaps discuss that you were on lexapro and go from there...sounds like you need more time to get things rolling with your new doc.
Moderator Anxiety/Panic Forum

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1449
   Posted 2/22/2007 1:58 PM (GMT -6)   

if an antidepressant can be found that reduces your anxiety , it will be a big help, generic prozac is usually cheap and probably as good as the expensive new antidepressants

get a self help book on how to stop worrying and follow its advice

also perhaps ask a therapist for help with your hypochondria

try to relax and let go of all excess tension in your body, as it is likely to be causing a lot of the pain, also learn to breathe deep and slow, avoid rapid shallow panting

many with your problems get help from relaxation massage, jacuzzis, hot tubs or even a long soak in a hot bath

read up about sinus or nasal irrigation on the net, it often works when all else has failed

recovered former longtime anxiety and panic attack sufferer and helper of other sufferers  but no training or  qualifications in medicine or psychology, any remarks that may be taken as advice must be confirmed with doctor or other health professional
emails are welcome but do mention healingwell to avoid risk of deletion as spam

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 240
   Posted 2/22/2007 2:31 PM (GMT -6)   
many of us here can relate to how you're feeling, so you are not alone.  it sounds like ocd about your health which is causing you lots of anxiety. you had a traumatic event happen (with the loss of your aunt) and you  are probably always preparing for the worst.  An anti-anxiety/anti-depressant would probably really help.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 728
   Posted 2/22/2007 2:52 PM (GMT -6)   

Reading your post it could have been me 30 years ago (I'm now 59). From the time I was a teen I ALWAYS thought I was dying of something - preferably a brain tumor or you're not alone on that.  Also, that pain in back of your ear could just be your mastoid acting up because you had a sinus infection - my son had an ear infection for quite awhile and eventually developed this lump/pain in back of his left ear which the doctor treated with antibiotic and the swelling went down and pain went away after just a few days.  At 24 I'm quite sure you're too young to probably have anything serious.

If I could ever pass along the best advice to those of you who suffer with this constant fear of illness/death like I did all my life, what I would say to you would be "DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME" - LIFE'S TOO SHORT.  I have suffered with this for all these years and here I am today healthy as a horse - I haven't truly been sick a day in my life and yet never appreciated that gift of good health God gave me - because I was ALWAYS convinced I had something terminal.  I still suffer from this affliction which I believe is a big part of that whole anxiety/depression/panic issue but - but I don't let it consume me as much as I used to - maybe by the time I'm 100 I'll actually start to believe I'm healthy (and then I'll drop dead - HA).  Really though - I HATE to see others like you go through the pain of this constant worry because I remember so clearly how debilitating it was to me (and still can be at times).....and I think back to all the hours/days/weeks I wasted just worrying, worrying, worrying.  God knows why people like us develop these irrational fears but they sure can make a mess of your life - and as you start to get older like myself you begin to realize what a horrific waste of "living" time it all was.  So treat your anxiety/panic, whatever, with the drugs you need to take or the therapy you need to have so that hopefully you can conquer this horrible thing called hypochondria.  All the best to you.  Keep posting.

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 2/22/2007 4:20 PM (GMT -6)   
as well me just about 30 yrs ago as well
I know it is so hard but you must come to terms with the fear of dying and especially your own mortality
YOU dont have a brain tumor I am sure you sound like you have a very sever case of Health Anxiety and this does need to be dealt as soon as yesterday
PLease reach out to your doc and progfessonals to get some help as well stay around here as many know and are living with exact same thing in the life .......lask of life ya know

andwes is spot on
LIVE dont let one more day take you away from the world and what it has in it and what you can do for it you can fight this with all youve got and we all will be ere to help you in whatever way we are able
The support here is the best so are the ppl
Never judged here only accepted and UNDERSTOOD
Please do seek help as soon as posssible and let us know how it is going doin t waste anymore of preciuos LIFE on this hun you do so deserve way better
Need to talk email addy is under my name at side ok
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