thanks alot lyn :) ill surely do tht. and yes ill try to avoid experimenting with medicines on my own, i dont want to take any risks. but u have to understand it was all done out of desperation. with the days for the wedding closing in and fears increasing..its hard not to try something to relieve yerself of this misery. i hope i can enjoy the wedding and all other happy times to come just like everyone else. i know i am much better than before. i can be around people.. yes sure im uncomfortable most of the times, but i still somehow manage it. sometimes i just become really quite and its hard to talk.. the mind goes blank and the ahrder i try to think of something to say.. the more difficult it becomes.
btw is there a part of the brain that i can have removed.. so that i never get anxious again? :P (just kidding)
you know i wasnt always like this .. well i guess most of us werent.
it all started after a trip of ecstacy at a friends place. although it wasnt my first time but tht night i took two pills.. and from the very next day i started feeling unconfortable in social situations. infact there was a time when i couldnt even sit in the lounge with my family and watch tv without my heart racing and breathing becomin extremely abnormal.. sometimes i would just hold my breath but tht would only make it worst. my muscles would become stiff and then when it became really bad. i would just get up and go and lock my self in my room.. but thankfully now im much better. although i still have to go out and start sociallizing again .. i have been staying home mostly since the last few months. and then i have to go back to college after the summers. so i have to start working on my phobia .. i know i will improve.. i have no doubt. (btw i dont do ecstacy or anyother drung anymore, atleast thts one thing positive that came with my social phobia :P .. i do drink occasionally and that even never more than 2-3 drinks)
btw does any one know of any natural 'anything' that can be taken to relieve anxiety?. and are they safe?... things like kavakava, st johns wort, coffee, 5htp, some amino acids.. are they safe if taken in moderate quantities?
lastly i'd would just like to say tht ther is nothing in this world that is impossible. if we try hard enough, never give up and really believe in out selfs.. nothing can stop us from achieving what we want. in my case, to become pro social .. and i know i will, its just a matter of time! :)
Post Edited (floppy) : 3/15/2007 6:53:37 AM (GMT-6)