Now it's my son I have to worry about

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andwes
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Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 728
   Posted 3/20/2007 8:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Well, some good news, some not so good.  It looks like I did get the full-time job I've been waiting to land for over two years - didn't get the formal offer yet but was told it's forthcoming.  Now of course I'm panicked because of this darn eye thing I've mentioned before in my previous posts and just hope I can make it thirty days to get insurance before going blind!! Ha.  Anyway, I'm taking my 15-year-old son to the doc tomorrow - he started Lacrosse practice yesterday and after running around for just a short while, had to stop because of a very sharp pain in his mid chest right about where his heart is.  He's actually experienced this before but I just put it off to gas or muscle strain, etc. but this just seems much for a kid his age to experience.  Naturally it makes me even MORE nervous as he's my whole life and the thought of him having anything serious throws me into even a more exaggerated anxiety state.  Nothing can ever go smooth - here I finally get this new job and now worried about my son and my eye.....never a relief.  Well, all I can do is (as people here have told me) take one day at a time.  It's just difficult to do at times.....I'm always projecting into the future....and seems I never see anything good. I know it's all part of the anxiety/depression/panic way of life but it does take it's toll.  I'm so envious of people who just calmly go through life, taking each up and down with grace and courage.  Not me, that's for sure. All I can say is that it's a good thing I have this site to vent on all the time - what a wonderful resource - and you don't have to PAY anything for the therapy!!!!!  Thanks for listening.

debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 3/20/2007 10:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Well, first of all, I'm not sure life is a cakewalk for anybody. Everybody has stuff that bugs them, but yeah, you're right that anxiety sufferers probably do have it worse in that department.

Your kid --

Well, I certainly don't want to alarm you or cause you any more stress than you're already experiencing, but he needs to have an EKG. My cousin collapsed during a basketball game when she was 15. Turns out she had some kind of problem with a heart valve and it had been there all her life. She'd experienced the pain before but never mentioned it to anyone. After a minor surgery she's fine and I think my mom said she's already playing sports again. It was only a few months ago.

It could be something or it could be nothing. When I was in sports at school they'd pay for stuff like this if it happened in the "line of duty". If his won't, you may take him to an urgent care center for an EKG. That shouldn't cost a whole lot of money. Even if it shows no abnormalities, you may want to curtail his physical activities until he's insured, at which point he should visit a cardiologist and get a stress test or whatever they do these days. It's not really something you want to mess around with.

If I had to bet, I'd say there's probably nothing wrong with your son and your eye will probably get better as you get settled into a new, permanent job and you feel better about your life situation. Easy to say, I know, but try not to worry about the worry.

harry4
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1449
   Posted 3/21/2007 2:56 PM (GMT -6)   

you are hurting yourself by refusing to treat your worry with advice form a self help book on how to stop worrying, its obviously a bad habit with you but it does give you something to keep the mind busy

sorry for being rude but do you enjoy the worry? do you want it to stop or stay with you, are you addicted to worry and always looking for any new worry subject

time passes quickly and life is short   nono

we only have the one time here on earth


recovered former longtime anxiety and panic attack sufferer and helper of other sufferers  but no training or  qualifications in medicine or psychology, any remarks that may be taken as advice must be confirmed with doctor or other health professional
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andwes
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Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 728
   Posted 3/22/2007 9:11 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi Harry4 - thanks for the pep talk.  I absolutely DO hate being a worrier - and believe me I've talked to myself a million times - saying the same things to myself as you said in your post.  But oftentimes bad habits are hard to break - my mother was a chronic worrier and it drove me crazy when I was young - now I've turned into the same thing!!  Having fear/worry ingrained in you from birth is a difficult thing to overcome - at the root, I believe, of all anxiety/depression.  She was the "what if" mother - always letting me know in no uncertain terms, what could happen if I did a certain thing.  They'd take me on these big day trips to an amusement park and then only let me ride, reluctantly, on the merry-go-round.  To this day not only will I NOT go on any rides, but I feel scared just going to an amusement park - how sad.  But even though I can intellectualize all this, I can't overcome it emotionally....but I keep trying.  I ended up bringing my son to the doc yesterday and even though they didn't find anything on the EKG, the doc still wants him to go to a pediatric cardiologist because he didn't like the way my son described his symptoms.....so he wants to err on the side of caution and have him totally checked out.  I took the news pretty well - trying to stay positive that this was the right thing to do and didn't necessarily mean he has something serious wrong with him.  So I was proud of myself for that (even though I was nervous just BEING in a doctor's office)- actually, it might sound selfish, but I worry the most about myself - health anxiety - and I think it's because we have no other family and I worry that I'll die before Wes is old enough to take care of himself.

My most recent fear is that I have a brain tumor because of the blurriness in my left eye and the faint pain I feel in the eye.....I've been thinking I have a brain tumor since I was seven years old - and I agree - what a waste of time....however, knowing and believing are two different things in the mind of a neurotic I'm afraid.  So I'll take this new job I was offered, wait the thirty days to get the insurance - and then, even more reluctantly and hopefully with Xanax to calm me down, I'll go to the eye doc and find out what's going on.

Keep in mind that people like yourself can't understand worriers like me because, thankfully, you don't have the same affliction.  I can assure you that I have been fighting this "worry" syndrome for about 40 years and I don't plan on stopping the quest - I did overcome my fear of the dentist, which I'm afraid took too long to save my beautiful teeth - now I go just to have a new bridge or plate made when in fact I could have had all my own teeth had I not avoided him.  So I'm hoping I'll overcome the doc fear before anything serious arises.  Some people's lives are a constant struggle to stay or get mentally healthy and I count myself in that group.  Wish me luck on my quest!  (And, yes, I have read a myriad of self-help books which seem to work in the short term but regrettably not in the long.)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/22/2007 2:42 PM (GMT -6)   
My friend I hear ya about the worrier in us No one can truly understand what we are feeling and why we do worry so much but you are trying I have been like this for over 40 yrs as well
I worry about everything ..everybody
Now I have to worry about my daughter as well
She has been showings real signs of anxiety and some depression
A lot of deaths in her young life and seeing me sick all the time with other aliments bothers her she think s I am going to leave her like all the others she loved so dearly

I would have sonexamined if I were you to set your mind at some peace never will it fully be I know
YOU are doing the best you can and that what counts
A fellow constant worrier and friend
LYN
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debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 3/22/2007 2:55 PM (GMT -6)   
andwes said...

Keep in mind that people like yourself can't understand worriers like me because, thankfully, you don't have the same affliction.


Well, I'm not sure that's true. This is an ANXIETY forum you're posting in, brother! People don't come here for fun...they're here because they're all like you.

I'm like you, for sure, although I hope I'm recovering. Harry says he's recovered, but do listen to him...I'm sure he hasn't forgotten what it's like and can give you some great advice.

We're all here to help each other. Often that means we'll give advice we'd have trouble taking ourselves, or at least that's my take on it. Most of us know that we have anxiety disorder and that worrying is only counterproductive. We can't help it, though. And that's where the "group support" comes in.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/22/2007 3:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Debaser
There is a big difference with A/P health anxiety and Worrying
I worry about things that will or may not happen I worry about siblings amd all family members
I worry about someone in the congreagation
I worry and worry till the skin is literally being eaten from inside out that is what my PG is all about it is from crohns BUT worry stress brings it out
Yes I know you have alot of things with your health as do many ( me too)
Yet to constantly worry is gutwrenching and hard to live with at the best of times
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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/22/2007 3:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Harry
I do not live to worry
IT is a health ( mental ) problem with me I have done this since I was 8 and left to raise my siblings my parents too drunk ....
I have come along way though but sometimes as you know things will pop up
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