Do you ever worry about what people think of you?

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 3/24/2007 12:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Guys,
 
Just wanted to post and ask some advice from you all.  I have been feeling the pressure at work recently and my boss has been a bit 'offish' with me.  I feel like I am at school again as I am constantly anxious about what she is thinking and she really has temper problems.  She runs her own buisness and there are only 4 of us working there.  I work 3 days a week, 9 hours a day but I always end up working extra.  We work through our lunch and are busy all day long.  I told my boss that I couldn't handle the 6days a week she was wanting me to work eventually and she is acting like I have really let her down and upset her.  I am prepared to work 40 hours, but any more and I would be dead on my feet.
She can get angry very easily and can't handle her emotions too well.  There is always a drama in her life and she can sometimes talk about people behind their backs.
 
I upset her the other day by saying I couldnt work the hours she wanted me to and I felt like she had been talking about me to my colleagues and felt as though I was at school again.  It was awful.  I am getting so anxious and when I am at work I am getting that familiar tight chest again and feeling generally tense and agitated.
 
We talked the other day and she told me off for going quiet at work and said it wasn't acceptable to be going quiet on her.  She tells me that things are fine between us and the hours situation is sorted but I still feel very unsettled and not quite right about things.  I don't like the way she makes me feel. 
 
I left my career in nursing for this beauty therapy job and Im scared that she'll fire me or something as when she hasn't got on with people in the past or people have 'let her down' she has got rid of them.
 
I am dreading going to work next and this anxiety is eating me up and I cant stand it.  I know I shouldnt let it get to me and I should be stronger but Its so hard.  My boyfriend says not to let it get to me b ut I get anxious very easily.
 
Sorry for ranting everyone x x

Victoria x

Moderator ~ Depression and Anxiety Forum

Xx Sometimes we all have to go a little crazy just to stay sane xX


harry4
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1449
   Posted 3/24/2007 1:03 PM (GMT -6)   

perhaps you could phone the other workers and ask them if the boss is unhappy with you' other than that, you could say to the boss that you feel she isnt happy with you

I think anxiety sufferers worry to much about what people think of them


recovered former longtime anxiety and panic attack sufferer and helper of other sufferers  but no training or  qualifications in medicine or psychology, any remarks that may be taken as advice must be confirmed with doctor or other health professional
emails are welcome but do mention healingwell to avoid risk of deletion as spam


debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 3/24/2007 3:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Your boss's behavior is extremely unprofessional. I'd refused to work in that kind of environment. Is looking for other employment an option?

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/24/2007 7:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Vic sweety
I know how much you wanted this position and needed to change from Nursing
You are stronger and better than her
Do not let her break you and be strong like I know you can be ......you have us all pulling for you .......
Ya need to talk I will prolly be on msn in the am k ........just sign in I will see you and come on k

Harry is spot on as well we tend to worry to much about others opinion of us and really most times THEY are the ones that need to clean up their own back yard first ya know
Luvs ya sis
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 **When you Feel Anothers Pain ....You Are Humbled**
 
 
Co Mod... Crohns        
Co Mod..Anxiety /Panic 
Moderator ...Alzheimers
                             
 
                                  
                          
                                  


LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 3/25/2007 11:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for your replies - I appreciate it. Im back at work on Tuesday and not looking forward to it. I just cant believe this is getting to me so much. She makes me feel so insecure and anxious. Its like being back at school when the ''bully'' is nice to everyone around her except you. I hope it gets better. I so wanted this job and have never been treated this way in a work place before.

Thanks again for replying.

Victoria x

Moderator ~ Depression and Anxiety Forum

Xx Sometimes we all have to go a little crazy just to stay sane xX


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/26/2007 4:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Always here for you sis
Sorry wasnt on this am had to go to court for sil............will be on in am for sure
love ya
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 **When you Feel Anothers Pain ....You Are Humbled**
 
 
Co Mod... Crohns        
Co Mod..Anxiety /Panic 
Moderator ...Alzheimers
                             
 
                                  
                          
                                  


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/26/2007 4:09 PM (GMT -6)   
P.S.
You know what they say about bulies EH
Stand up to them and they will back down .......
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 **When you Feel Anothers Pain ....You Are Humbled**
 
 
Co Mod... Crohns        
Co Mod..Anxiety /Panic 
Moderator ...Alzheimers
                             
 
                                  
                          
                                  


dbab
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 4151
   Posted 3/26/2007 4:54 PM (GMT -6)   
I know how you feel Victoria, I have been there so many times. I am actually the boss where I work and let me tell you how self consious I am. Everyone hates the boss right? Well even if its true or not, I feel it. I have been on both sides and I know how hard it is both ways. From a boss' perspective, I think you did the right thing approaching her about the hours. If she can't appreciate the openess and communication that shows you respect her, then she is not worth working for IMO. Especially talking with YOUR colleagues about all of this, that is totally UNPROFESSIONAL. I agree with Harry, if working somewhere else is an option, I would consider it if I were you.
Hugs, Des
Co-Moderator ~ IBS Forum
Dx: IBS 1989, Diverticulosis 2004, Idiopathic Acute Colitis 2006, UCTD 2007 (Lupus? Sjogren's? overlap?)
Meds: Plaquenil 400mg, Chlorzoxazone 500mg, Lyrica 50mg, Protonix 40mg, Naproxen 1000mg, Xanax XR 2mg, Miralax 17g, Supplements
 
 
Please help Healing Well continue to help others by donating  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


FloatingThoughts
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 28
   Posted 3/26/2007 9:18 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't claim I have the solution to your problem, but from my experience, I once had a boss who got really pissed at a fellow employee talked like the employee was a piece of trashed. So that pissed me off and later I caught the boss and got out my anger on him, telling him how we shouldn't be treated like dogs, he'd hate it, and I kept going on even if he kept telling me I should mind my own buisness. I thought I was going to get fired, but I think he might have thought about our confrontation for a while, because couple of weeks later I was promoted when someone quit a higher post. Maybe because I showed some leadership, he never told me why I got promoted.

On another job, I had a collegue who kept telling the boss what didnt work in the buisness, he wouldnt conform to rules that he judged innapropriate. Had lots of talks with the boss about what he thought went wrong in the buisness (without telling the boss how to do her job). And this guy, with time turned out to be someone the boss would begin to turn to when in doubt about certain decisions.

So basically I think confronting a boss with your ideas, if done appropriatly, can show leadership and interest in the workplace, and can improve the relationship with the boss. It can break the Dom/sub relation with the boss, and create something looking abit more like partenrship.

Anyway it's just my 2 cents.

LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 3/27/2007 6:24 AM (GMT -6)   
OK -I confronted her and said that I couldn't work the hours she wanted me to and she fired me. Can you believe it?

I said I couldnt work 9 hours a day with no lunch break and coldnt do that 6 days a week. She said I had let her down (i havent signed anything yet saying what hours id be working) and that she didnt want someone like me working for her. I know that you all only know me through the internet, but I am not a nasty person, I dont have it in me.
She said that it wouldnt work and she couldnt be bothered with me.

I told her she was a bully and that she hired people and when she didnt get her own way, fired them. She didnt like that and screamed the place down. I think she has major issues of her own. Im not the first to be fired and I wont be the last.

She has no friends outside of work - wonder why. Me on the other hand have had my supportive boyfriend mopping up my tears since i got in and my friends on the phone. I am now talking to you guys who I appreciate and value enormousley.

I cannnot believe this. I still have my nursing and beauty qualifications and am gonna take some time out to think about what I want to do. I hope i can get a part time beauty job elsewhere.

Thanks for listening

Victoria x

Moderator ~ Depression and Anxiety Forum

Xx Sometimes we all have to go a little crazy just to stay sane xX


dbab
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 4151
   Posted 3/27/2007 8:08 AM (GMT -6)   
(((Victoria)))... Honestly I really think you are better off. The atmosphere there seems horrid and I'm sure it was doing a number on your anxiety. There are so many better places and better people to work for and I know you will find something else soon. I can tell that you are a good person even though I never met you personally just by reading your posts. We are here for you and it sounds like your boyfriend is being supportive too. You will get through this, youv'e got the qualifications to give your contributions and success to somewhere else. Feel free to vent all you want, we are here for you.:)

Take Care
Hugs, Des
Co-Moderator ~ IBS Forum
Dx: IBS 1989, Diverticulosis 2004, Idiopathic Acute Colitis 2006, UCTD 2007 (Lupus? Sjogren's? overlap?)
Meds: Plaquenil 400mg, Chlorzoxazone 500mg, Lyrica 50mg, Protonix 40mg, Naproxen 1000mg, Xanax XR 2mg, Miralax 17g, Supplements
 
 
Please help Healing Well continue to help others by donating  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 3/27/2007 8:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks des, appreciate it. I feel pretty awful today if Im honest and my anxiety is through the roof. I know I have probably had a lucky escape but it has made me feel horrible.
I don't want to be working for a person like that or even be associated with someone who is that nasty. She really was evil, the way she spoke to me. I really thin she is a bully and wants her own way all the time.

Thanks for replying hun x x x

Victoria x

Moderator ~ Depression and Anxiety Forum

Xx Sometimes we all have to go a little crazy just to stay sane xX


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/27/2007 12:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Sweetie
I am so sorry but I do agree with Des you are better off out of that TOXIC environment .....

I am sure you can find another place that see and will get to know the beautiful you we all do here

Wishing you all the best

I had to go to Caits school this am for pic money and found her in a total breakdown ...too much being thrown at her and responsibilties are way to much .......thats why I wasnt on msn but for a few with ZLIL one
I will be on in am if you are up to it about 7 or just after I know you need to talk hun....
LOVES YA SIS
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 **When you Feel Anothers Pain ....You Are Humbled**
 
 
Co Mod... Crohns        
Co Mod..Anxiety /Panic 
Moderator ...Alzheimers
                             
 
                                  
                          
                                  


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 3/28/2007 4:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Vic, you know you have all my support.  Being without a job is always difficult and mostly when we dont expect to have that happen.  But there are tons of jobs and things you can do...that witch may of taken your job but dont let her take your self value and confidence.  Your a strong woman, hang in there dear.
 
Lvs ya

Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 3/29/2007 5:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Thankyou - Love you always hun x x x

Victoria x

Moderator ~ Depression and Anxiety Forum

Xx Sometimes we all have to go a little crazy just to stay sane xX


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/29/2007 4:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for your input
Welcome to HW
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 
 **When you Feel Anothers Pain ....You Are Humbled**
 
 
Co Mod... Crohns        
Co Mod..Anxiety /Panic 
Moderator ...Alzheimers
                             
 
                                  
                          
                                  


FloatingThoughts
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 28
   Posted 3/29/2007 7:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry about your job Victoria... You should be proud of yourself though, not many people have the courage of confronting their boss.
I'm sure you will find a better job with a better boss!
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, September 29, 2016 8:34 AM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 2,695,899 posts in 297,604 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 152264 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, rosickypablo.
323 Guest(s), 14 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
TracyJayn, Inspiredby3, THE HAPPY TURTLE, RcvdfgLqwedf, Serenity Now, getting by, yaamba, pmm73, PA_grandma, Bluepaint813, bdavis, Violet Thomson, straydog, Cdavislyme


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer