I think you may be having a "dissa - I can't even spell it! -socciative episode. It is quite normal to have these feelings. Especially at you age. You also seem to be exhibiting high levels of anxiety. I suggest a visit to you GP would be good. Tell him how you are feeling sweetie.
Are there medications to help? possibly thee is something to diminish the "anguish" you seem to be experiencing but I believe counselling and therapy are best. Take the meds to give yourself perspective, do the therapy to understand what's causing it in the first place.
I took meds for ten years but I don't anymore. They halped me get to where I am now (nice place!!) but I won't need them "forever". Have a chat with your doc and good luck! Welcome to HW
Moderator ~ Depression and Anxiety Forum
Xx Sometimes we all have to go a little crazy just to stay sane xX