Question for parents

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Sharann
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   Posted 3/27/2007 7:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Do you as a person with panic or anxiety issues find that you have kids who are more nervous than "normal"? Do you think that it is genetic or that your behavior influences their own? I know that my teen boy who is very sweet and average and "normal" is kind of a worrier and is very anxious about doing certain things(like anything new, or being wrong, or whatever). He doesn't get panic attacks thankfully but he is just more of a worrying type. Just wondered. I try real hard not to let my anxiety influence him but he is not a dummy and sees it. Kids are like dogs, I think, they feel vibes. I don't mean to upset anyone here by this question so sorry if I offend.
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Aussieangel
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   Posted 3/27/2007 8:24 PM (GMT -7)   

I think it depends on the child, if they are more prone to being anxious then they'll feel it.

As your son is old enough don't try to hide it, but explain about your illness to him it will be easier for him.

I have 3 kids 15, 12 and 5 and have explained it to them. If mummies crying it means mummies sick, that's how my 5 yr old sees it and she's been coping well with me in hospital because she knows I'm a different mummy when I'm well and she wants that mummy.


freezinginAK
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   Posted 3/28/2007 12:50 AM (GMT -7)   

  I have found that my kids are very hard headed and they both now about my anxiety disorder but they also know that I to can be hard headed as well and will not back down from a fight, kind of funny how that works if I have no control over something I tend to dewell on it but if I have the need to fight it I can. Anxiety is kind of a mix's bag as I tend to go to my horses for comfort as they to can feel it in me just like kids can.

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Howlyncat
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   Posted 3/28/2007 6:27 AM (GMT -7)   
MY Cait is showing signs of anxiety and Panic especially now when going into big stores and she is constanly panicky about her friends and what they are doing to selves she has a best friend that is very depressed and is hurting self ......'
I found the razors Cait took from here and freaked ....
I will try to talk to her friend as she has no parental backing from what I am being told ........

Cait is a Type A personality and she is OCD as well she was bound to be in some areas especially since I am severe OCD and she has seen what the a/p has done to me
She is doing some coping with me and I have talked to hr about this so much as has our Doctor ..........

It does not mean we are bad parents it is just the way this DD presents itself in our lives and they see it you cannot hide it all ......

My animals feel my angst and Caits
I am hoping Cait will be able to stop from it becoming full blown and interfering in her life so far it hasnt
Be well
LYN
 
No offence taken by this post for me .......I believe it is a good thread and does need to be addressed
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dbab
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   Posted 3/28/2007 6:58 AM (GMT -7)   
I see a bit of social anxiety in my 13 year old son. He does fine around his friends however he has turned down quite a few opportunities because he would have to be the new kid or because their would be a lot of kids that he didn't know. It saddens me because of the opportunaties lost and I tend to blame myself and that may be my anxiety has rubbed off on him. On one hand I want to encourage him but on the other hand I don't want to push him into a worse type of anxiety. It's really hard.
Hugs, Des
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Howlyncat
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   Posted 3/28/2007 7:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Des
I know you are a great parent hun and I know it bothers you but it also happens with Cait to some extent with social things I like you dont push her I let her make up own mind and most times she prefers NOT to go for whatever reason.............says crowds and ppl she dont know bother her

It is not our fault hun they are bound to see what we go thru and so it is natural that they will p/u on some of our habits
Dont feel guilty ......Just keep talking to him and letting him know that he is special and very much loved
Luvs ya................... sis
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dbab
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   Posted 3/28/2007 7:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for those words Lyn, made me feel better... BTW your daughter is a beautiful, caring and wonderful human being, you obviously did something right by that child :)
Hugs, Des
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andwes
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   Posted 3/28/2007 10:28 AM (GMT -7)   
I have had anxiety/panic disorder since I was in my early teens and my mother had it before me.  I now have three boys ranging in age from 15 to 37 and all three have experienced anxiety/panic to varying degrees.  I do believe that it's hereditary and I suppose there's also a chance that living in an environment with an anxious person can bring it on but most of us try desperately to hide it from our kids so I don't really know the answer - my gut tells me that it's more heredity than anything else because I also follow in my mother's footsteps with stomach issues and other health related problems and so do my sons.  The one thing that's good about experiencing anxiety as a parent (if you can call it "good") is the fact that if our children do experience it themselves, we have alot more understanding and empathy for what they're going through and can sometimes be a huge help in fighting the disorder (just like my mother did for me).  I think there's alot to be said about genes but I still don't think we have to be held captive by them - there's so much more out there these days in the way of medicines, therapies, etc. than there was when I was a kid that it's amazing.  Even my great uncle (who I never met) began to have anxiety/depression back in the 1920's when he was about 22.  He was a brilliant accountant but because he came from a VERY strict, stuffy, snobby, Irish Catholic family, they didn't understand what he was going through and considered it a "stain" on the family so put him in a sanitorium and never visited or spoke of him again.  He ended up dying in there when he probably could have led a productive life had he had the kind of help that's available to us these days.  So even though I do believe that, sadly, our kids can sometimes be the product of our genes (good or bad) there's alot more help out there for them than ever before and hopefully they don't have to suffer as much as we did years ago just because of ignorance.

Howlyncat
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   Posted 3/28/2007 4:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Des
I know you have a son just as great as you loving, empathetic, caring and supportive BE proud of the parent you are and the Son you have raised
You have done nothing wrong but love him same as I with Cait and we cannot hide it like I said and our kids are so near and dear to our hearts and souls that they FEEL our emotions ...it happens when we have that bond and that is the best thing a parent can have is the bonds we have like we do with our kids ....teens..and nowadays thats a hard thing at times with pressure from their peers...JUST know you have done right by him and thats all that matters and your love ......Luvs ya


Our children do learn from us it is the ole psyco babble about Environment vs Heriditary
We have done nothing wrong.........
It will not hurt them to feel others pain or be able to support others when needed 'yes they gt anxious and at times panic .....
BUT remember this ya all
WE are survivors and so shall they be and they have had the best of the best teachers .....US....

My 2 cents worth
LYN.
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