Just a question (sorry this is LONG)

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scotsgal
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 4/3/2007 4:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone, Well for the last 4 months my life has been hell. I had been diagnosed by my doc with depression in December, where at the time I couldn't sleep or if I did I'd wake in the middle of the night with a rapid heart beat, I couldn't eat and I cried constantly, all of this was because me and my bf were having a rough patch which I will admit was caused on my behalf, I was obsessed he had someone else and I wouldn't settle until he admitted, even though deep down I knew he wasn't as he never leaves my side,I cried at the smallest of things basically all I can describe it as I had like a mini breakdown!  but we sat down and talked everntually sorted out or differences and decided to get on with it.
 
He has stuck by me well and truely through all this and although most of the symptoms faded, the depression never. Hes been great through the tears tantrums and all the rest I've put him through. I simply couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend :)
 
 
I was reffered to a councillor who told me that I have anxiety which has caused depression, but I don't get this. She told me she knew straight away from the speed I spoke at, but I have did this since I was  child.
 
I don't get how I have anxiety though because I'm not scared to go anywhere or of anything, I don't suffer panic attacks well that I am aware of and I don't really know much else about anxiety.
 
Anyway
 
the only symptoms I am aware of suffering is:
 
I still get the rapid heart beat a lot
I wake up far too early and can't get back to sleep
I sometimes get this faint short of breath sort of feeling in my chest
I sometimes get a sore throat when I get this
I am awfully fidgety
I can't stay in one place for a long space of time, I pace about
I talk fast (as I said thoigh I have always did this)
I get adgitated and angry really easily
I am really short tempered and violent
I feel faint sometimes
I used to have crying fits but my meds seem to have cured this, but I still feel teary lots.
I suffer quite bad tension headaches sometimes.
 
Anyway, whenever I think of my bf, the future, our relationship and especially THAT weekend which it all started when I sort of snapped I get that fluttery horrible faint feeling in my chest
and feel weird.
 
I hate feeling like this.
 
Sorry my post was so long but I needed to vent. I hope someone can advise me on my problems.
 
Thanks

djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 4/3/2007 5:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Scotsgal,
 
First of all, its great that you have a b/f that is standing by you. I think thats great and that support is really important.
 
Many of the symptoms you describe overlap eachother. (I.e. They are present in Depression and Anxiety Disorders). The rapid heart beat, feeling in the chest and aggitation would all be present in most anxiety disorders. You say that you have always talked quickly. Can your mum remember a time when you didnt? Maybe there was a point in time when something changed (Causing the increase in speed). Whatever the event was may have caused an anxiety disorder that perhaps has laid 'dormant' (I dont like that phrase becasue it would still be active, but its the best I can come up with to describe what I mean). As you have got older, maybe this has come to the surface more.
 
Im not saying this is definately what has happened but it sounds likely to me. As for the long rant... I have read much longer than that! Never be afraid to have a long rant here! There is always someone who reads it.
 
Best Wishes
 
Darren
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.


scotsgal
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 4/3/2007 1:03 PM (GMT -6)   
also all day today ive felt like i cant breath properly its like i have to sigh to exhale right!

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/3/2007 1:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi there
I believe Darren has said many great points here and I do agree with him on those points
I dont like the word dormant either but really it is the best way to describe the way your condition could /must have been
I believe you suffer from both as Darren has posted they often do overlap one another

A few months back I had not really dealt with moms death and was very depressed about recent decision to have hubby move out and many other things
I went into such a depression and a hole that was so deep I never thought I would be able to climb out of it
I scared my daughter Cait as I would sit for hours and stare into space not talk,eat .... nothing and I also had Normal ( mod) scared as well ( she is like adopted daughter met her personally at Christmas.stayed with us here) anyway most of all I scared myself to the point that one morning I just broke and I mean broke I was so ANGRY n FRUSTATED at self for everything that I was letting go on ......
I had to ask Cait to leave as I was afraid I would do somethng stupid and it could or would scar her for life .....I had never felt like that ever and I have had this for 30 plus ys ( a/p)
I called the docs office at I believe 1120 am and explained what was going on I was in by 1145.......
He told me I was right in getting there as soon as I did he asked me IF I wanted to be hospitalized which I said no to and then he gave me alot of good talking and input........I cried for over an hour in his office non stop..( I have a disease called crohns and PG as well as another very serious one I dont talk about to many and not on the boards)
My doc is very good with us all he has empathy and truly cares which I am so thankful for ......
.....Okay fast forward I know what the depression is like NOW and I never ever want to be back where I was again......
I feel you pain and frustration in your post .....
I have anxiety it dont have me anymore
I now refuse to be a victim and I have learnt many self help and coping skills to come this far in a few months
I had to for my own peace of mind /safety and for my daughter.....

Personally most of your symptoms do sound A/P related and I am sure the depression does overlap it
I am so glad you have a very supportive B/F and now you have us as well
NO worries on your post
VENT when you need to for sure ........it helps as does the input after IMO
It just helped me by answering your post ya know

I hope I have helped a lil bit here
Take care and keep us posted on how you are doing please......

LYN
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