Once again, I've let work rule over my life. While I'm not quite experiencing the trauma of working for those I don't like, I am letting work interfere with some of my personal issues.
Currently, it's affecting my therapy. I've had to put therapy on hold since I can't seem to find a time that allows me to go without complications. In the meantime I was still seeing my pdoc once a month, since it wasn't as frequent. But even that is proving difficult. I've now cancelled my third appt since the start of the year. He always allows me to schedule, but I always feel like I'm about to get reprimanded when I do. And I understand the irritation. I do. But, it's not helpful to feel this way either. He's never discussed being irritated with me, and in fact, has never mentioned this as being a problem. But, I know he will. And that sends me into a slight tizzy, just waiting for the moment when he tells me that I need to find someone else.
And now, I feel like I need to call him up personally and apologize and tell him that I'm sorry for being a flake and hope that he'll give me some comforting words about what a wonderful human being I am, even though I don't deserve it.
I'm upset. Can you tell? No where to vent, since I'm at work. Kind of don't know what to do with myself at the moment.