Sorry to vent everyone, but I got so close to a PA yesterday and today, and it seems all for nothing. I have just found out that once again my best friend lied to me, I just can't keep taking it. She knows I have a real thing about lies, they confuse and devalue friendships and are just so unneccessary. It seems so silly, we're supposedly mature adults lol, yet seem to be acting like teenagers. I feel that if she has to go to great lengths to hide something from me, which to me is the same as a lie, then she either doesn't want me in her life and doesn't know how to say so, or just is two-faced and unloyal. Either way, it's happened too many times and she thinks that if she just says sorry, takes a bit of thinking time everything will be ok. Well not this time. I asked her to come over this afternoon, after giving her "space" for 3 days to see how things stood. After our last conversation I was really worried about her, some of the things she said made me think she might actually feel a bit sorry for what she'd done. She strolled in like it was just another day and then get's cranky at me for trying to get her to make me understand why she feels she has to lie to me. I honestly still just don't get it.
Anyway, I'm really sad right now, cos she stormed off, but will expect things to be back to normal in a few days, but this time they won't be. I'm shutting the door on my one true friend who has seen me through the depths of despair, illness, divorce, job loss and injury. It's killing me, but I just have to do this. I'm gonna miss her like crazy. She was the one person I told everything to, who I trusted, and who was there when no-one else was, but I just can't live like this.
I've got past feeling like the PA is going to hit, I'm just really really sad.
So sorry to ramble on everyone, but it's good to have somewhere to go when u feel alone.
They say life is a bowl of cherries........... we just have to learn how to spit out the pips!