Creativity and Anxiety/Panic

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debaser
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Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 5/13/2007 5:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I've heard it theorized that creative people are more susceptible to anxiety and panic disorders. I don't know whether it's true or not or even if it's been studied. Surprise...I have an opinion anyway.

I really hate to keep shilling my blog, but I put a lot of work in today's entry and, more than that, I think it could be helpful to a lot of people. Hopefully I'm not coming off as too self-important or anything. I would copy-and-paste it here but I think it would make for a lengthier post than the moderators would like, and also there are some links and other entries in the blog that I think may prove helpful in this context.

The gist of it is, everyone's creative in some way whether they realize it or not. A lot of panic (in my experience) is a very vivid imagination gone awry. And the mind's a powerful thing. It creates traps and so forth. But this same creativity can be turned around and re-channeled into a positive force for recovery. I think. That's my opinion. The link to my blog is in my signature below, and you can decide whether I'm making sense or I'm out to lunch.

Thanks.
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorder
anxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/


MES>>S
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 5/13/2007 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
I quite agree with your blog entry. The more I read on these forums, the more I think you were right when you said, what I am going through is probably not anxiety attacks but symptoms of my depression. I think what you are saying about rechanneling your anxiety (my depression) into something positive can be used for depression as well. I do not consider myself to be a creative person, when I was younger (much) I wanted to be a writer. That ambition has been surpressed for so many years I do not think there is anything that can rescue it from the recesses of this old brain!! Once I get the depression dealt with who knows??? I also want to say that you are a very talented writer and I really enjoyed reading your blog. I did not enjoy the pain you have gone through, but the way you wrote it was really quite good !!!
Mary-Ellen

manyembers
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 5/13/2007 7:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Debaser,

Good thinking! I also checked out your blog the other day and really enjoyed it. You've sure been through a lot, and have shown such strength and vibrancy in bouncing back and searching for answers and reaching for life. Very inspiring.

Creative people are generally very sensitive people - 'tuned in' to things around them. Artists in particular. Anyway, that sensitivity seems to also create a pre-supposition (is that the right word?) toward anxiety. Some people get called names and brush it off. The sensitive child internalizes it, and learns to become afraid of the world. However, I think the sensitivity with the creativity is also part of the very strength that allows us to find ways to overcome the anxiety many of us deal with.

all the best, manyembers

debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 5/13/2007 8:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you both for the kind words. It means a whole lot to me; I'm very, very happy someone's getting something out of the blog.

Unfortunately, today has been my worst day in terms of anxiety/panic since I started treatment. I've had a "mini" panic attack, a full blown modified panic attack, and I'm afraid I feel another coming on. Tomorrow will have been SEVEN WEEKS exactly since I started taking the klonopin. Unitl today, I it's hard to remember but I don't think I had a panic attack that entire time. If I did it was mild and I took it in stride. Well, the one while ago couldn't be taken in stride. And the one that's coming is going to be worse than that if it doesn't go away. I took a dose of K exactly two hours ago...maybe it will knock it out as it's due to take effect any minute.

Isn't that weird, though? I'd been doing so well and then BAM. This nausea's really killing me.

There are some possible factors. Residual stress from a very bad week at work last week. The guilt from not seeing my mom on Mother's Day. Not getting nearly enough sleep both Friday and Saturday night. Starting this morning with caffeine and eating bad stuff. Then I didn't eat for a long time after that and then maybe overate a little. Smoked a lot. Sedentary.

So I did just about everything wrong today. There've been other days that I've done the same thing and it didn't affect me like this, though. Or anything close to it. And it really makes me wonder: is the medicine wearing off? Would it do that so suddenly? Oddly enough, my last six doses were Roche Klonopin that the pharmacist gave me to see if they were any better than the Caraco generic clonazepam I was taking. Is it possible that the generic is somehow better than the original? The whole reason I asked for the "real" stuff was because I was experiencing some minor but annoying anxiety right around dose time. I thought maybe if the real stuff were even a little more potent, it might carry me through just a little longer. If not, I was just going to deal with it.

I'm not sure what to do now. What if this stuff is suddenly back? I've experienced minor setbacks and thought little of them as time went on, but nothing like today. I've written this post very slowly over the course of 20 minutes or so. I think the medicine's kicking in. My stomach feels weird but the nausea is improved. I'm less anxious, but still worried that any of this happened.

Has anyone had any similar experiences?

I'm going off topic in my own thread....geez.
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorder
anxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/


debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 5/13/2007 8:30 PM (GMT -7)   
MES>>S said...
I do not consider myself to be a creative person...


I think everyone's a creative person. Like I said in the entry, just reading a novel is a creative exercise. When you read you envision what's happening...that's imagination. If you work on a problem, your're using creativity in a different capacity. Just articulating your thoughts on an internet forum is creative to a degree. Did you follow the link I had in my entry? I probably can't paste the link here but the title of the book is The Artist's Way. It's not only for artists, despite the title. It's been in print a long time so I'm sure you can find it used pretty easily.
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorder
anxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/


MES>>S
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 5/14/2007 5:53 AM (GMT -7)   

Yes I did follow the link and am going to the library to see if I can find it.  I am sorry to hear you had such a rough day yesterday!!  You know what you are right!! I used to read all the time, sometimes too much, I would start a book and could not put it down untill by eyes were falling out of their sockets (insomnia depression??). I stopped reading because of this. I will definately check this one out, maybe now that I am on meds it will help me to get out there and start living again.   I have never been a big self help book reader but I recently read The Easy way to Stop Smoking and it actually worked (Till I had my melt down a month ago and like a fool I started up again).  I like history and old classics like Anna Karenina, the Brothers Karamazov, Stienbeck is my favourite(someday I will visit the Salinas valley!!).  I like reading someone who is expressive, when you read, you see and feel what the writer is experiencing.  I got that from your blog, these attacks sound tortuous and after reading your blog I have been able to realize I am not having panic attacks,I have just been too depressed to go out!! Hopefully with the aid of the meds and the physchiatrist I will be able to get my life back on track. I hope you got a good nights rest and woke up feeling better!!!!

Mary-Ellen

 


Post Edited (MES>>S) : 5/14/2007 6:58:29 AM (GMT-6)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/14/2007 6:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Debaser
Creative Minds are very much common with great PPL  who suffer or did fom A/P 
There is Monet......
Beetoven.....

Most PPL that win the greatest awards have or had A/P

Look at Martin Luther King

I honestly believe the majority of A/P sufferers are "Type A" personality and my doc does agree with me ........
These are just some of the ones I have read about and know that they suffered silently .......but they GAVE to the world their beauty ,Music and Wisdom.......

Havent been back to your blog my friend but wil later today
I PROMISE and ya know I dont break them

I believe we are all VERY creative

Great thread Debaser.....thanks yeah

.


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Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
 Way to many meds to put down ..........
 
Take that Lil step ..I will hold your hand and we will make big strides
 
                             
 
   LYN                               
                          
                                  


debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 5/14/2007 6:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Mary-Ellen,

Well, experiences vary. I'm glad you think I'm a good writer (I never thought I was, really), but even if I articulated my panic attacks well, they're unique. My panic attacks just aren't like most peoples' and that's one reason it took them forever to diagnose it. I'd go to a doctor and let them decide whether it's depression or panic...you could have them both at the same time. It's tricky.

I think The Artist's Way is part self-help and part manual. It's really good. I never really did the whole program but still found it helpful.

I got a good night's rest: a solid seven hours. My anxiety level isn't particularly high but my stomach is still in pretty bad shape. I think it's just fallout. The last panic attack I feared last night never materialized. Thankfully it was knocked out by the Klonopin. But the one before it was bad enough that my stomach's still not right. Laying flat through the night didn't help...I should've slept in a recliner.

So I'm taking the morning off, at least. There are times when time off is bad for you, and there are times when it's self-preservation. I think if I were to encounter stress right now it would send me backwards. I just took my Prevacid and my Klonopin. In an hour or two they should both be in full effect and I hope to go to work then. If not, I dont' know.

Believe it or not, I've never really been a big reader. The classics are my favorite though. The Odyssey and the Iliad are awesome. Kerouac, Hunter S. Thompson. That's the kind of stuff I like to read. Steinbeck's also great.

Lyn,
Thanks.
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorder
anxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/14/2007 8:49 AM (GMT -7)   
N/P at all
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Co Mod ..Crohns Forum
Co Mod A/P Forum
Moderator ....Alzheimers Forum 
 
Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
 Way to many meds to put down ..........
 
Take that Lil step ..I will hold your hand and we will make big strides
 
                             
 
   LYN                               
                          
                                  


janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 5/15/2007 3:49 PM (GMT -7)   
D,
I need to come on more often and plan to late tonite, as I have to get offline now. I agree that PA folks ARE creative, extra-much-so!
Cal me a "braggart" if you feel you must, but I'm actually a pretty darned good writer/artist! No I'm not a Renoir or a Steinbeck, but I'm content with my abilities---might as well be!! LOL!!!!
Love To You and ALL here on A/P forum!
janet
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.
janet


debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 5/15/2007 7:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Janet,

I'd be happy if you were to come to the site, and even happier if you'd leave some comments about what I can do better. Traffic is slowly starting to pick up now and I feel a certain amount of pressure to do a good job. Not a "bad" pressure but a good one.

I really thought I would give up on the blog. I'd contributed to some political ones before and got bored with it pretty quickly. The journal I kept on here was okay, but it just wasn't a very good format for what I wanted to do. I was getting bored and frustrated with it, too.

Thanks.
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorder
anxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/


MES>>S
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 5/15/2007 9:25 PM (GMT -7)   
DO NOT give up on the blog. I read the entries you made over the past few days. My Brain: My friend, My enemy- it is right and it is good!!!
Mary-Ellen

janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 5/16/2007 1:16 AM (GMT -7)   
D,
I think you should definitely keep your blog going! I enjoyed looking at your photos and reading your story. I wish you had a photo of yourself, but perhaps that's a little too personal for ya!
Take care and don't stop the blog and don't stop the fight! :)
janet
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.
janet


debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 5/16/2007 5:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the kind words ME and Janetlee. I don't think I'll give this one up. It feels like I'm building something.

haha....I'm not putting a photo of myself on there, though. If any of my friends happened to come across it I'd be made fun of until the day I die. If anybody wants a photo they'll have to get me to e-mail them one. Will not publish one, though. Never.
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorder
anxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/16/2007 5:45 AM (GMT -7)   
D
You vry well can send me one ........
I need you to put the link in an email to me I cant get to it again thru HW for some dang reason

LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Co Mod ..Crohns Forum
Co Mod A/P Forum
Moderator ....Alzheimers Forum 
 
Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
 Way to many meds to put down ..........
 
Take that Lil step ..I will hold your hand and we will make big strides
 
                             
 
   LYN                               
                          
                                  


janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 5/16/2007 1:24 PM (GMT -7)   
D,
Send me a photo too! :))
janet
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.
janet


debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 5/16/2007 3:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Sent (begrudgingly)
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorder
anxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/17/2007 4:21 PM (GMT -7)   
NOthing WRONG with the pic at all
SELF CONFIDENCE ........

Its a good pic you 4 got to send me the link to blog though

LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Co Mod ..Crohns Forum
Co Mod A/P Forum
Moderator ....Alzheimers Forum 
 
Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
 Way to many meds to put down ..........
 
                   ONE step..Leads to MORE 
                       
 God Bless
   LYN                               
                          
                                  


debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 5/17/2007 4:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Huh? I have too much confidence, if anything!

Here's the link: http://anxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/

I don't know how to make that a link, so you'll have to do the cut-and-paste thing.
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorder
anxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/18/2007 12:22 PM (GMT -7)   
OKILY DOLKILY
Thanks D I will be there after I p/u Cait tomorrow ( sundayI will be there) she is done at Parliament BLDGS
My how the month has gone by ........not .
Cant wait to hold her and smell her as long as she dont get all wrapped up in my IV lines
Should be a great trip 8/9 hrs all round and I am in so much pain I could and prolly will scream soon enough

Dang I despise this

LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Co Mod ..Crohns Forum
Co Mod A/P Forum
Moderator ....Alzheimers Forum 
 
Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
 Way to many meds to put down ..........
 
                   ONE step..Leads to MORE 
                       
 God Bless
   LYN                               
                          
                                  


debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 5/18/2007 12:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry you have to be hooked up to all that stuff. Sounds like a real pain. Maybe it won't hurt as bad as you're expecting and you can enjoy the drive at least a little.

But with you gone, I guess we'll be free to practice medicine just like the posters in the GERD/Acid Reflux forum do? While the cat's away, the little doctor that's within us all gets to play!

Just kidding about that, of course. I don't know what's happened to that GERD forum, though. It seems to have been taken over by a "MEDICINE IS BAD OKAY" crowd.
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorder
anxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/

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