Need to tell my story and get some support

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pilehead
New Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 5/17/2007 11:35 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm new to the boards obviously and I'm pretty sure somewhere along the line my questions might have been answered but typing all this out is a form of stress relief so bare with me please!
 
So about 2 years ago I had my first panic attack. Went to the doc, got a few misleading diagonises(sp?) and then finally got put on Lexapro. Did that for a few months and it worked pretty well. But now recently in the past week my attacks have been coming back. It started last week for no real reason, at least not one I can see...in reflection I'd guess my major life stressors would be the fact I don't have a job anymore and I'm worried about how my girlfriend and I will pay rent/utilities/etc. for our apartment. Unfortunately these episodes are much worse than before. When I was on Lexapro I would have an attack every now and again but otherwise be ok. But now I've been having them frequently along with other symptoms. I've almost completely lost my appetite because, for one reason or another, it just feels like whenever I eat something I can just feel it floating on my stomach waiting to digest and I can't focus on anything but that process, which of course brings on more panic attacks! So I haven't had a good solid meal in about a week. After seeing a few more doctors they finally prescribe me Lexapro again along with Klonopin....but unfortunately, I'm at the point where the thought of even taking any pills at the moment will likely bring out a full-blown panic attack, much less even actually taking them...so I've yet to get down any of the medicine I've been prescribed. I've never taken Klonopin before and honestly I'm scared to death of how it will effect me, all of the side effects, etc. and even the thought of taking the Lexapro frightens me now! I'm completely exhausted, mentally and physically, and everyone around me is starting to worry about me.
 
 
I guess to sum everything all up, I was wondering if anyone could give me some support...maybe tell me how I can get over the fear of taking my meds, or what I can expect when I take the Klonopin for the first time. The pills are 1mg, maybe if I only take half a pill it won't be so bad? Or perhaps someone can give me some advice on how I can start eating real food again? I know I won't be able to last much longer without it...I'm sure someone on this board has had the same or similar experience as mine, so any help AT ALL will be much appreciated!

jerseycherries
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 178
   Posted 5/17/2007 12:08 PM (GMT -7)   
maybe try distracting your thoughts when you eat. so that your mind is completely occuppied by another thing and just kind of "graze". i dont have experience with those pills but i was totally against my meds at first too. i felt like they solidified the fact that i was "crazy" so to speak. but i couldnt imagine not how bad i would be with out them now. good luck and do what is best for you. just breathe.
I am bipolar, have social anxiety, panic attacks w/apporaphobia , diabetes, asthma and high blood pressure. Life is short but i am not.


harry4
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1449
   Posted 5/17/2007 12:55 PM (GMT -7)   

welcome

the lexapro should help again, klonapin is a valium type med that is a big help to many anxiety sufferers, its been available for 30 years and is safe, both meds go well together

some find it easier to crush the tablets into a powder or disolve the tablets under the tongue

the panic attacks although unpleasasnt wont hurt you, when one starts relax, dont tense up or fight back, do breathe deep and slow, disolving a klonapin tablet under the tongue will help a lot, works fastest that way

look up sublingually on the net

get some self help books on overcoming agoraphobia and panic disorder

if your digestive system is still working normally it may help to place food in a blender to break it up or just have soups

agree re distraction to stop you monitoring and checking your body functions


recovered former longtime anxiety and panic attack sufferer and helper of other sufferers  but no training or  qualifications in medicine or psychology, any remarks that may be taken as advice must be confirmed with doctor or other health professional
emails are welcome but do mention healingwell to avoid risk of deletion as spam


FloatingThoughts
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 28
   Posted 5/17/2007 4:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Not eating, for anyone, is a cause of stress, drowsiness, mental and physical fatigue. Anyone who's been in class and skipped meals that day knows that the mental won't work when hungry. First I'd start by fulfilling this essential need. Try eating things you like, fruits and vegetables, or soup like harry4 suggests.

Second, you seem to be a bit like me. When I should worry about the hard events going on in my life, I don't. And I end up worrying more about going crazy or getting ill, but the real cause might just be the fact that you lost your job and can't see how to relieve your financial burden. Being jobless and having bills to pay is in the top 10 list of the most stressful things that can happen to someone in north america. The tension has to be relieved one way or another. Some get to drinking, others will live their emotions through anxiety.

And last, medication isn't meant to make people go crazy, or sick. It's meant to help like crutches. Just like a broken leg, you can avoid the hospital and wait until it heals, it will eventually but might take more time. Meds are not poison, they're meant to help when you need them. It's up to you. For me I was reluctant to ask a doctor, I've waited a long time before I talked about it, but it helped me a lot to progress really fast. In the past I've also used pills sold in health food store. They can also be good for some people, for certain degrees of anxiety. Some of the clerks in those store are very well informed about anxiety and natural treatments to it. But usually these treatments give relief in long term, rather than instantly with doc meds.

It's up to you to know what you need, or mayber seek help from a therapist, or a perhaps someone you know personnaly could help you meet a friend who's a therapist, and with whom you could talk to briefly, without impossible fees...

Hang in there, it goes away :-)

debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 5/17/2007 4:46 PM (GMT -7)   
I went through many of the same things you are now. Not exactly the same, but similar. I hate to sound like a shill, but check out my blog. You might find my most recent post relevant, but also check out "my story".
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorder
anxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/


ChristianWithHope
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 119
   Posted 5/17/2007 5:51 PM (GMT -7)   
pilehead - nice name. : )

You are SO NOT alone in this. Spend a little time browsing through the posts and you'll see the trend.

Take the meds as prescribed. I guarantee you there are people around you taking similar meds and you don't even realize it - you think they're "normal". That's the idea - the meds don't make you high - they help your brain function better - so that you can make good life decisions. : )

pilehead
New Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 5/17/2007 6:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you EVERYONE for the kind words. They were exactly what I needed to hear.
 
I've come to the conclusion that I haven't exactly 'lost' my appetite, but I'm mentally surpressing it in fear of anxiety attacks. Even as I sit down and write this my girlfriend is sitting next to me, wolfing down a chicken sandwhich that looks and smells SOOO delicious...I'm nearly salivating watching her eat it but I know that if I induldged I'd be up all night. So the urge to eat is definately still strong, but I've just gotta get over the fear.
 
debaser, upon first suggestion of reading your blog I'll admit I rolled my eyes! But I ended up reading it anyway, and I honestly can't tell you how....RELIEVED I felt to know that someone else was out there going through nearly the same thing I was. The panic attacks, the stomach bloating and all, its almost like I wrote it! It's also a relief to hear that Klonopin has helped you so much. I've decided I'm going to try the klonopin tomorrow. I was going to take it today but I backed out...I drank some tea to try and calm myself down and get ready for it, but as I drank my best friend came over with her son(my godson) and once I got to talking to her I drank and drank without really realizing how much I was taking in. Needless to say I drank too much and had to work quite a bit to keep myself from having a full-blown PA. Speaking of which, I also tried some soup today, and after about 2 sips I felt INSTANTLY sick....so that idea is out for now.
 
After reading about klonopin for almost 2 days, all the potential side effects, the possible seizures that can occur with discontinuation...I've got to admit I'm pretty scared. But I'm committed to taking it tomorrow after reading about the success stories on here. I'm DYING to eat some real food! Tomorrow will be a rocky day for sure but I'm going to do it. Wish me luck!

debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 5/17/2007 8:58 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm glad you found some stuff on there to help you.

I AM NOT A DOCTOR, but Klonopin won't cause seizures unless abruptly stopped from a high dose. It was developed as an anticonvulsant, actually, and people who take it for seizures usually take really high doses compared to anxiety sufferers. That's probably where that warning comes from. That said, it is addictive, and when you stop it you'll have to do it gradually.

Even after you take the Klonopin and start feeling a bit better, I'd recommend taking it slow with the food. Your digestive system's likely not used to it yet and it might go a little nuts on you. Don't want that!

Good luck. I'm sure you'll do better very soon.
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorder
anxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/


hunniebee
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 116
   Posted 5/18/2007 10:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Good luck to you pilehead! I have a feeling you are going to get a lot of relief from the klonopin and you'll wonder what took you so long to take it. lol Let us know how everything goes for you!
Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.--

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