I didnt know wherelse to turn...so I thought I would come here because people here are very nonjudmental. I have had something so hurtful happen to me just yesterday and I am feeling about as low, scared , anxious and depressed as one can feel. If you all dont mind...I would like to tell my story:
I am a divorced mom( age 38) of two kids...ages 11 and 14. I have been divorced since 2002. After which I met a guy ( age 27), we became VERY CLOSE and emailed, phoned..etc..constantly. He went to church and seemed to get long with it ok..although he did have very overbearing parents who were on his case alot telling him he was called to be a minister( which he never believed he was)...so the pressure of that really got to him at times...feeling as though he let his parents down..and he cant be the son they wanted him to be. He lives in Canada and I live near Pittsburgh PA. At one time we were going to get married. But because of the fact that we live in two different countries...we didnt do anything about it for a long time( basically it was me not knowing if it was the best thing for me and the kids to move up there). SO for 4 years he came here and visited about every other month or so. He talked of loving me...needing me...always being there for me...never leaving me unless I told him to..in fact he often stated " You are stuck with me....I only go away if you tell me to". Well It was pretty intense..with all his talk...and I believed him. Untill a few months ago when he started to not call as much...send me as many emails..etc..and he started hangin around at bars, drinking till he puked, hanging out with bisexuals...going to parties and ...using vulgar language.., saying he wants nothing to do with God or Christianity...etc. I tried to tell him...that isnt HIM...he is acting in ways that is not good and not health and not HIM..He says..he ENJOYS all this behavior and as no desire to change. SO yesterday he calls me up and tells me that he is no longer interested in a romantic relationship, but that he wants to be my friend. He says it is NOT me..there is nothing wrong with me...that it is him...he has changed....he is not the same person he was 5 years ago. He hates the church and anything to do with it( he is a pastors kid). Oh and he is wiccan and says he enjoys being that way..
He was nice to me on the phone...but it still hurts like heck! I have a problem with panic attacks and anxiety so this situation has just made me feel TONS worse :( . I dont know what to do...I feel as though my life is over and I can never be happy again. I feel so lost and alone! I am not on any meds right now. I dont have the money to be on them....because of my condition I cant work...so I have just child support as income. I feel as though God has left me. I have never felt this hurt, abandoned or alone in all my 38 years!
Are there any single moms out there who suffer with depression and anxiety?? and if so.,....how do you cope?
Please help...anything would be appreciated! God bless you all
Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 5/21/2007 10:07:57 AM (GMT-6)