I'm going to cut n' paste this morning's blog entry and bounce it off you guys. Anyone go through the same thing? Here it is:
Then and Now
Due to sinuses and stuff, I can remember waking up and feeling less than well for most of my life. Even when I say on here "I woke up feeling great", that's sometimes relative. There are days that I do feel perfectly fine (I don't want to exaggerate), but probably almost half the time I'm feeling poorly to one degree or another. When I'm right in the head it usually passes pretty quickly, maybe within a half hour or so.
Since I acquired the gall bladder problem and then the anxiety/panic, it got much worse (for physical reasons at first, and then, perhaps, psychological). And, now, even while being treated for those things, the morning issues are still not down to pre-illness levels. They're a little higher.
If I'm feeling suboptimal in any way, my mind just wraps around it to some extent. Particularly when my sinuses have drained there's some very real nausea there, and I just can't blow it off like I used to in the old days. That nervousness and fear creeps in, almost paralyzing me. Then I start feeling stupid about
it: "a man should not be such a weenie". But I guess I am. Mind you, I don't complain about
it. I just sit and suffer silently, so I guess it's not completely un-manlike. But it does prevent me from doing what I need to do. Because of the anxiety element, I tend to sit around and wait until I do eventually feel better. Getting up and moving around would probably help, ironically.
Of course, this is happening to me right now and that's why I'm blogging and not doing other stuff. I woke up at 9am. I wanted to be at work at 8:30. While it's true I don't care about
work anymore, there are some things I need to do there and I wanted to get them out of the way early today, so this is messing up my plans a little.
I know a lot of people have sinus problems and probably feel a little ill in the mornings. Some fraction of them are anxiety sufferers, too, no doubt. If anybody out there's cursed with this, I'd appreciate your comments on how to deal with it more effectively. As I've said over and over, I'm going to be moving to Dallas in the middle of the Summer. It's home to five or six million people, all their cars, and one of the world's busiest airports. In other words, lots and lots of air pollution. I've lived there before and know my sinuses will suffer a little more while living there. That's just the way it is. At least it's not like Austin has been a walk in the park. For some reason there's something I'm allergic to down here that didn't exist up there. Maybe it'll be an even tradeoff?
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorderanxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/