I am 52 years old and endured, painfully, my first panic attack at age 25, when my son was 6 months old. I still have many issues with depression, bouts of agoraphobia, mood disorders, panic and anxiety and post traumatic stress. Through the years events and relationships changed and altered how I was doing. I was doing reasonably well until my husband of 25 years abrubtly left our marriage for a 23 year old, I attempted suicide for the first and only time, lost the respect and trust of my two children, was brutally raped by a young man in my home, and lastly: left my job, sold my home, left behind my son and the few friends I had left and moved across the state to become a full time caregiver for my 90 year old parents. Mom had Alzheimer's and that was a new and huge task to take on. Dad had heart problems and other age related illnesses. I thought I was going to have respite help from family as was promised, but that didn't happen so I did the best I could and was able to keep them here in their home for almost two years when Mom died from complications from her disease and Dad shortly after (7 weeks) from a broken heart. It has been nearly a year now and I am not moving on as I should. I am an educator and don't trust myself to reenter that profession because it is the one thing I NEVER felt failure from. I am becoming more and more homebound, am purposefully not getting involved with the community, and find myself bored and frustrated with having to start the whole journey of reecovery, or at least partial recovery, over again. It seems easier to watch TV, read, and mollify my psychiatrist with tales of minor victories. Any ideas how to jump back into life?
Like my screen name.....I have survived so much and aim to thrive from all the experiences I have had. It must be possible and I will never stop trying!