New to discussion groups about my problems

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surviveandthrive
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 6/2/2007 6:39 PM (GMT -6)   
I am 52 years old and endured, painfully, my first panic attack at age 25, when my son was 6 months old. I still have many issues with depression, bouts of agoraphobia, mood disorders, panic and anxiety and post traumatic stress. Through the years events and relationships changed and altered how I was doing. I was doing reasonably well until my husband of 25 years abrubtly left our marriage for a 23 year old, I attempted suicide for the first and only time, lost the respect and trust of my two children, was brutally raped by a young man in my home, and lastly: left my job, sold my home, left behind my son and the few friends I had left and moved across the state to become a full time caregiver for my 90 year old parents. Mom had Alzheimer's and that was a new and huge task to take on. Dad had heart problems and other age related illnesses. I thought I was going to have respite help from family as was promised, but that didn't happen so I did the best I could and was able to keep them here in their home for almost two years when Mom died from complications from her disease and Dad shortly after (7 weeks) from a broken heart. It has been nearly a year now and I am not moving on as I should. I am an educator and don't trust myself to reenter that profession because it is the one thing I NEVER felt failure from. I am becoming more and more homebound, am purposefully not getting involved with the community, and find myself bored and frustrated with having to start the whole journey of reecovery, or at least partial recovery, over again. It seems easier to watch TV, read, and mollify my psychiatrist with tales of minor victories. Any ideas how to jump back into life?
Like my screen name.....I have survived so much and aim to thrive from all the experiences I have had. It must be possible and I will never stop trying!


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/2/2007 6:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Survive,
 
Hello, I am Kitt and welcome to Healing Well.
You have many issues and if you have made it this far we will help you to keep on going.
 
I think many of us struggle with the same feelings you do. Feeling like nobody cares or wants to listen. People don't understand.

Some people will be able to empathize without having gone through the mind numbing depression and heart wrenching anxiety. Others won't. Some who have gone through it won't be able to because nobody ever validated their feelings.

We are here to tell you we understand and we know what your going through. You have been through so much and want to survive, kudos to you.

I would like to see you go slow and start to take advantage of your therapist, he/she is working for you............get those feelings out and deal with them however works best for you.

Perhaps it is to soon to go back to work. Set small obtainable goals for you.  Try to just go out for a short time.  Keep posting.

My thoughts are with you.



Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
______________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

Post Edited (stkitt) : 6/2/2007 6:28:07 PM (GMT-6)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/2/2007 7:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi there
Your story has struck a BIG chord with me
'I looked after mom with same illness AD and she passed just over a yr ago
Now looking after dad who is quickly fading and will be gone soon I know this and I have a hard time
I have NOT gotten past moms death at all and I will never get to where I should
BUT I am making progress...and so will you
I take steps everyday and I try to do something anything no matter how small a victory IT is still a victory

I am A retired RN and I had to leave do to my crohns and many other illnesses which I have not brought to the board yet but will in time .....
I need to deal with it self first

DO NOT think that you are ever alone please
I am truly sorry for all your pain and I hope to God you will stay with us and get the care and support you so bleeding deserve.......I can relate to your pain believe me it is still very raw for me

WE ARE here for you

Take care and
Small steps lead to accomplishments...trust me

In my heart and prayers...God Bless

LYN


    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Co Mod ..Crohns Forum
Co Mod A/P Forum
Moderator ....Alzheimers Forum 
 
Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
 Way to many meds to put down ..........
 
                   ONE step..Leads to MORE 
                       
 God Bless
   LYN                               
                          
                                  

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 6/2/2007 7:14:36 PM (GMT-6)


surviveandthrive
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 6/2/2007 7:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you. Thank you very much! I appreciate the warm thoughts and your empathy. "Time heals all..." Sometimes that is hard to get a grasp of, but I do hang on to that.
On a happier note, though, my 21 yeard old daughter just graduated from a large universtiy in another state and even two months ago I was sure I would have to miss it as I have missed so many other events in my kids' and friends' lives. But, with perseverence, lots of planning, quite a bit of white knuckling on some rather teeny airplanes, and a trustworthy and loving friend to accompany me.....I made it! I got to see my girl graduate with honors, a double degree, and special remarks from the university president in his address about her and four other girls in the program. I was so proud. Proud of her and her accomplishments and proud of me for being able to get there and share it with her. She and I have lots of healing to do, but this was an important step and I have memories of the 9 days we were together, millions of photographs in case the memories fade with down moods, and a framed graduation picture next to the one of my Mom when she graduated from college. I know my mother would have been so proud, too. Bittersweet, but lovely. Thank you again for your caring words.
Like my screen name.....I have survived so much and aim to thrive from all the experiences I have had. It must be possible and I will never stop trying!


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/2/2007 8:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow
We do have so much in common
My daughter made the Valedictorian for this year
I too am a proud proud Mama....you sound so like me .we did do alot right ya see ........
Yes you did accomplish very much
Sometimes I find it helps for me to look at the steps I have made rather than the ones I havent yet

See the glass half full hun
NOT half empty
I am here for you as are so many others

Be well yak in the am
This ole bag lol is tired and hungry

Luvs
LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Co Mod ..Crohns Forum
Co Mod A/P Forum
Moderator ....Alzheimers Forum 
 
Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
 Way to many meds to put down ..........
 
                   ONE step..Leads to MORE 
                       
 God Bless
   LYN                               
                          
                                  

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