I can only imagine how you are feeling. Are you really expected to attend?? Seems like it would be a nice gesture, but surely not an expectation - a friend's MIL??
Can you be honest with your friend? Just tell her you're really not feeling great at the moment, if she's a friend she will understand. With all due respect, it's not like you were close to the lady who died. Please don't beat yourself up, crikey, if we went to every friend's relative's funeral, when would we have time for a life?? Different if you knew her well and were her friend.
I have never been on jury duty. I can understand how you're feeling, it would be interesting but daunting to - that old unknown!!!
Just remember what you're therapist taught you - don't anticipate - you can not possibly know what might happen, and surely it is unlikely to be bad. Go through the scenarios that you are worried about - and ask yourself "so what" - you don't know any of these ppl - you will never see them again -just go with the flow.
You might even find it's a really interesting and fascinating experience - just remember to breath, nice and slow. And when you catch yourself anticipating - tell yourself to stop, and then ask, well if it does, so what.
I know you will be fine.
you should be able to avoid jury duty by telling them your anxiety levels would make it almost impossible to concentrate on the evidence, and that if sedated, a large dose of valium would be needed that may well send you to sleep in the jury box
try phoning them first and see if a certificate from your doctor is needed or would help
I wonder if your therapist is helping much, what do you think?
does he give useful advice or mostly just sit there and listen
Thank you so much, that was very helpful and your right, I barely knew the woman that died, my friend knows that last summer I was afraid to go anywhere, did not even go to nephew's wedding so I will send a card.
Your right about the jury duty and I have talked this thru with therapist. We agreed the worse that could happen is I would break down in tears from anxiety and they would ask me to leave. I just have to remember that does not make me a failure.
Thank you, your so nice.
Thank you everyone, you told me exactly what I needed, to believe in me and take care of me.
The funeral, I have a card to send and will send a plant to my friend at home. She has a huge group of church friends and I think she will understand as she knows it is the same funeral home my son's visitation was at. It is a trigger for me.
Also tomorrow is my granddaughter's 16th birthday and we are to be there for dinner.
My therapist is great. My first one just visited but this one I have been seeing since January and we really work. I have been seeing her weekly.
I'm glad we could all help and give a bit of objective advice - we all know the answers, it's just when we are the ones in the situation we go to pieces LOL.
It's nice for us to be able to return the favour, of all the advice you mods give us.
Glad you are feeling more positive.
Thank you and I know I need to practice what I preach hee hee.
I am going to buy the latest book by my fav author to take to jury duty as there is a lot of just sitting and waiting.
Kitt, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your friends MIL and I don't do funerals at all but I have my reasons about.
But Jury duty you can get out of it if you wish as I have by telling them about your heath with A/P and the meds you are on and can not feel that you can make a sound judgment from it.
Thank you and I talked to my friend yesterday a she called to ask if they would be seeing me at the visitation and funeral............I politely told her no, but I had sent something to the funeral home that I would like them to take home...................it was a plant that can be replanted outdoors.
I explained just a little about the anxiety trigger and I believe she understood.
The jury duty, I will go and take it one baby step at a time. I am taking a good book with me...............
Thank you, as always for you wise support.
Your support must have helped a lot because today I went for jury duty and no panic. I just did it. They called down for jurors for a case and I was in the first group sent out. So far I am in jury seat #7. Being questioned by lawyers. I have to be back tomorrow.
Of course I can't discuss the case, but I feel normal again. Even visited with others and did not want to run away. Yehaaaaaaaa
Thank you all so much.
That's fantastic news Kitt
It's amazing what a little belief in ourselves can do, and those baby steps are always a help
Congratulations to you, I reckon you are now over this hump... enjoy the experience.
Well Dear Friends,
I am on a jury on a criminal case and I have put in 5 days in a row without freaking out. I expect we have a week left to go before it is complete.
My member jurors are so nice and friendly and even thow I know very few name we have become a sort of little family of 14. I know that after thiis trial is over we will all go our seperate ways but this has shown me I can go out and be a member of society without withdrawing into myself out of fear.
If I can do this, I believe that each of you will one day do this, go through the day with normal anxiety.
Bless each of you, you are my guiding light.
Love ya's all.
I am taking your hand today as I need it.
Thank you so much. Just one year ago I sat home in tears as the rest of the family all attended my nephews wedding but I was afraid to leave home because of the anxiety.
I felt like such a failure and I too wondered if I would ever get better.
The support and love here is so great that you want to reach out to each person and tell them that there will be better days.
Wow, today will be day 10 of jury duty and I was so worried to begin with that I almost opted out due to anxiety and panic disorder.
I am still there and have been every day of course.
We started deliberations yesterday at 12 noon and worked til 8:30PM. Leaving in a moment and I am sure we will come to a verdict today.
Just wanted each of you to know, If I can do this for 10 days............you too can get past the anxiety by just starting out small and then let your wings take you to your goals.
Love you all and you have been my inspiration.
Thank you so much, I like to share the good and the not so good.
I just got home from jury duty and after 2 days we fianlly reached a verdict and it is over. I met 13 new people and for 2 weeks we were like a family.
Everyone worked hard and were so repsectful of each other.
It was a fantastic experience and I learned I can be back in the mainstream and feel good about myself.
I know now that I will make it even when I have some bad days, the good ones are out there.
Gentle Hugs to you.