dont fall in love with your therapist

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Date Joined Mar 2005
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   Posted 6/3/2007 5:42 PM (GMT -6)   
some anxiety sufferers have a longtime psychiatrist, psychologist or some type of  'talk' therapist
its important to remember that its their job to help you get better, thats what you or your insurance company is paying for
It always feels good to unburden yourself and tell all your troubles to an apparently caring person, but its not good to become emotionally dependant on them. Also they should be offering constructive criticism and above all useful advice. be aware that some types of psychotherapy stress that no advice may be offered.
also you need to remember that until fairly recently it was thought by many professionals that panic disorder was a lifelong condition and that recovery wasnt possible, and that any attempt to recover would make the problem worse, likewise there still a few who want to search for a subconscious cause of it all, or want to analyse each panic attack for its subconscious cause.  this method, although seeming sophisticated is useless and never helped anyone,not  even when aided by the use of so called truth serum, as it sometimes was by eminent psychiatrists
the modern approach, which is very successful is a combination of meds and CBT. many therapists dont know how to teach  CBT as they were never taught this treatment during their training
also, from my and others experience, a lot of therapists specilising in panic disorder or anxiety therapy are panic disorder sufferers themselves, who havent yet got round to curing themselves, even though they have qualifications in psychology
their anxiety problems lead them to study psychology, partly in the hope of curing themselves and eventually earning a living as a therapist.
as I have pointed out to the local psychologists board, there should be a requirement that they cure all their own psychological problems before becoming qualified
otherwise its a case of the blind leading the blind
anyhow thats enough for now, I am now off on a 1 hour trip in a crowded train to a large city where I have several apointments in large buildings involving elevators and crowded waiting rooms, I wont take any valium or need any as I am actually now recovered, I wonder if your therapist can say the same
recovered former longtime anxiety and panic attack sufferer and helper of other sufferers  but no training or  qualifications in medicine or psychology, any remarks that may be taken as advice must be confirmed with doctor or other health professional
emails are welcome but do mention healingwell to avoid risk of deletion as spam

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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/3/2007 7:45 PM (GMT -6)   

Hey Harry

That was great advice and your right, don't become emotionally involved with your therapist. It leads to heartache and no progress in your sessions.

I have personal experience with a young 18 year old patient that fell in love with her  therapist who was also a woman.  The therapist had to finally pass the patient on to another therapist.  The young 18 year old was crushed as we tried to help her understand that it was not healthy.

She is drawn to women and has now just gone through the whole routine again with her teacher who is also female, married with children.

It is so sad to watch this happen.

You need to have a trust relationship with your therapist and if that is not there, seek a new therapist. This is my own opinion and I am not telling anyone to switch therapists............. redface

Take care of you.

Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 6/3/2007 7:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Not to mention, Tony Soprano.
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorder

New Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 6/4/2007 12:38 PM (GMT -6)   
If you fall in love with your therapist, YOU should take the responsibility of finding another one.

Sometimes you just can't control your feelings. It's very natural.

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 83
   Posted 6/4/2007 12:59 PM (GMT -6)   
I just started seeing this psych.  Today is my second visit.  Kind man, but he has a very soooothing voice, not boring.  Just one that makes me wanna sleep......zzzzzzzz  redface
"Don't worry about a thing, 'cause every little thing gonna be alright." - Bob Marley

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1185
   Posted 6/4/2007 1:39 PM (GMT -6)   
I had a therapist like that once... his voice just about put me to sleep. I kept saying, "I'm sorry, excuse me?".. I felt like a

And THAT was the GOOD One lady I had decided that every single bit of my anxiety/panic stemmed from my childhood. Umm.. since I never brought UP my childhood, told no stories about it, never even mentioned it (why would I???).. I find it hard to make the reach she made. I was adament that my fairly NORMAL childhood had nothing to do with sudden onset of panic attacks, she was busy telling me I was argumentative. Two docs said it was the fibro causing the panic attacks... adrenalin overload due to muscle spasms that I've never experienced... okay..but it HAD to have to do with my (Since treating the muscles, panic attacks are a rare thing..guess docs were right!!!)
I'm not procrastinating----I'm still doing yesterday!!!! 
I have no medical training, any medical opinions expressed in my posts are just that....opinions.

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1449
   Posted 6/5/2007 4:09 PM (GMT -6)   

thgerapists are said to search for their orientation, that is an acceptance of some psychological theory that they eventually accept in a religious sense and apply to all their patients

it may be due tio early childhood, toilet training or the belief that all anxiety sufferers must have been sexually molested as a child

one psychiarist was completely obsessed with incest and lost interest unless you said there may have been some eyes

recovered former longtime anxiety and panic attack sufferer and helper of other sufferers  but no training or  qualifications in medicine or psychology, any remarks that may be taken as advice must be confirmed with doctor or other health professional
emails are welcome but do mention healingwell to avoid risk of deletion as spam

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/5/2007 5:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Totally agree Harry on that one had a few tell me that as well

I do not talk to therapist per say I talk to my familyy doc about everything
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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 119
   Posted 6/5/2007 9:56 PM (GMT -6)   
In general, this forum seems to cast therapists in a very poor light.

That's unfair to those that genuinely dedicate their professional lives to helping others through emotional illnesses. Sure there are bad therapists - just like there are bad cops, bad car mechanics, bad insurance salemen, bad priests, bad nurses and bad firemen. But there are good ones too.

It's also a disservice to those who visit this forum. People come here because they're in pain - they're vulnerable and don't need to be filled with negative generalizations about therapists. Therapists can (and do) have a hugely positive impact on some people.

obs ann
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 679
   Posted 6/6/2007 12:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey, I enjoyed this thread. I just need a definition of what an "emotional illness" is ?

I'm in love with both of my favorite Psychiatrists - ha - but I've never met one one of them.

He's here -> . Know his work, benefited from him for 18 yr.s but nope, never met the guy, but he's kept me sane.

But he's just my 2nd favorite.
I think the one who created my mind has a bit keener insight.

HI LYN {waving}
Here's lookin' at ya, in my typical postition .... (o: }
Too pooped to pop or post. But I'll be back.
Hope yer well friend.

'LOVE' to all.
LateNeuroLyme + CFIDS = Lord knows what.
Romans 8:28 ~ And we know that ALL things work together for the Good,   Y
for them that Love God, for them who are the called according to His purpose. 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 6/6/2007 12:56 AM (GMT -6)   
CWH, I agree completely. I have an aversion to talk therapy, and there is a body of research that suggests it's not effective for anxiety and panic disorder, however, I have been in therapy for depression (long ago). It didn't help me in the long run, but it was good to bounce ideas off someone who was bound by doctor/patient confidentiality. Sometimes people need to talk face to face, objectively. Who's going to fill that role? An MD? Not for most people. A friend? They're not objective. Family? Well, sometimes they're part of the problem.

Harry brings a lot to the forum, but pigeonholing or trivializing the profession doesn't do anyone any good. Too many generalizations.
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorder

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